Jack - welcome aboard. 

https://ddb.ac/campaigns/join/5830831041619530

Just run into the cave and start chopping. Or be sensible, wait outside and when they're all dead maybe you and me can start saving the world?

Burt realizes he is, in fact, quite inspiring, and is now bonus actionedly inspired by himself. He will now destroy that traitorous arm.

Attack: 8 Damage: 5

Just. Like. That.

The Black Knight realizes that he also has not been paying attention to his character sheet and only had 2 HP when that damned spectral arm, which he still thinks may be one of his long lost limbs, attacked him, for no reason I might add because they seemed to be getting along splendidly until the ghost taco guy showed up. The arm was probably upset that he didn't bring any tacos back for the rest of the clan, which by the way has been mentioned several times without so much as an "I'm sorry, that was thoughtless of me, next time I go for spectreal tacos I'll bring enough to share with everyone." So anyway, seemed to have pissed the arm off and like as I was saying... The Black Knight quickly realizes that he'd not been paying attention to his character sheet and though he thought it only a flesh wound, "Ah, it's nothing really," it seems that he is in fact nearing death "I'm not dead yet!" Shut Up, I'm trying to talk to the readers. "I'm feeling better!" No you're not!

Anyway, as I was saying, TBK is suffering a bit which is a shame really because it wasn't his fault but rather the fault of the writer, who forgot, A - That he was down to 2 health, and B - That he was a paladin so could have healed himself. And so now, without further ado, Sir Black Knight will begin with his death saves. (You know, unless someone here could throw him a little healing love. Hey Jack... maybe you have some cool healing spells?  Jack?  Jack, are you there?)  

Throw 1: 4  <-- Insert expletive here! 

(I adjusted your sheet - the 2hp is after you were hit. But no harm having your life flash before your eyes while you're alive enough to enjoy the show! Will be offline most of the day unfortunately)

(Except bards cant inspire themselves. Oh well) Eldritch lick again. Not much else to do
Attack: 12 Damage: 10

Greg overhears a conversation and connects some dots "sensible...outside...save the world" Effing hell Dee'emm, this isn't part of a real important qwest? Bugger this.

He also takes note of Burt's inspired leadership Nice move Macklin, you go inspire yourself, see you near town.

Plus, comparing the damage they do and the damage we do, and adding that the shinies have left the room, ol' Stumps decides on sensible: bugger off out of the room and past Iradon. He'll help TBK with  his fallen bits if Greg sees he's coming along and that is possible. We can get away while the Dee'emm is offline!

"Like I said, I'm feeling better!" The Bloody Knight shouts, "But hey, umm, let's not do that again. My life should have flashed before my eyes but instead all I could see were visions of Burt working some little hussy or other. I really need to get out more!" He quickly kneels and touches himself, "Not the visions mind you, a little healing since you blokes don't seem to notice knights dying around here!" he adds as he grabs himself about 4 points worth of feeling better.

I care about you not dying a lot, Ebon Esquire. Though we have to agree to disagree on the whole passing thing, losing three or more limbs puts us in a certain kind of brotherhood. But that healing ain't gonna do you no good, you are still one hit away from down and the ghosts are way far away from down. C'mon, and bring the boss.

Iradon - your lick misses it's target but may have passed through the shimmer in the air where Jack will appear if he's genuinely going to play - let me know if he tastes like a keeper.

Burt - Your attempt to inspire yourself might translate into Inspiration in the the other thread.... Meta!

Greg - in trying to leave you have to get past the Doorman. 91 - He does not impede you; if anything he seems relieved that you're unpassing yourself.

TBK, I'll let you add the HP on yourself. Even though you've already acted this turn. Because I'm embracing the chaos that is PbP.

the Sword goes for TBKs left leg

Called Shot : 12 Damage: 14

Doorman takes a swing at Burt

Attack: 19 Damage: 6

 Neither really seems to be be concentrating - it's almost like it's all just gotten too confusing to be worth tracking.

Recap : Burt and TBK are in the middle of the room with the Phantom Limb on one  side and the Doorman between them and the door. Iradon is outside sitting on a magic chair licking the walls. Greg has safely wheeled himself out of the tomb into the passage. Quantum Jack has both joined and not joined the campaign. Don't look at him, the act of observation could tip the scales the wrong way.

Party - Go

Iradon both tasted and did not taste Jack, but rather than dwell on what might be, he dwells on what could be, and tries to lick the sword once more, and then climbs onto Greg ready for a tactical charge in the opposite direction to enemies.

Attack: 8 Damage: 4

(iradon just can't aim his tongue. It has a mind of its own, I suppose being eldritch that makes sense though) 

Burt, seeing dozens of tactical situations cascading through his brain, realizes every one of them have a common theme:

He shall disengage and run like a Brit from the dentist.

You have very bravely and successfully abandoned the armless Black Knight to his fate - he now stands alone in a Spectre Sandwich while Burt joins the others outside the door to the tomb, in the labyrinthine straight corridor that leads back outside.

TBK ? Blaze of glory or cowardice?

TBK isn't abandoned, he followed Greg's advice and came along, ain't that right? Greg helped with his dropped limbs. Penguini just seems to have a fuller life than the rest of us, and doesn't post as often, but if you carefully trace the sequence of events that will be updated shortly, the four of us, 13 attached and 2 detached limbs are all assembled on the way out of this very fine encounter.

(right, P?)

and to Iradon the ride'll will cost you, Elderberry, shiny or heinie, and you ain't my type (Greg's creature type is fey)

Iradon telepathically says "Of course, I haven't got many shines but I only stole them as I knew that if Burt got his hands on them, no one would ever see them again. I got enough for 2 people so I will keep the rings, you can have this" Iradon puts the gold chain with locket around Greg's neck, and will be ready (when it is his turn again) to eldritch lick back at the ghosts to guard Greg's rear end 

Burt reads their thought conversation from the post above and yells back Not true! You would've seen me wearing them every time you looked over at me!

"My point exactly, TBK gets the next shiny I find" 

(It would be a little cruel of you to offer him the rings, under the circumstances.)

The Black Knight follows you out the door, kicking his other arm in front of him. Once he crosses the threshold, the Doorman rushes to block off any return entry. Behind him you can see the phantom limb seem to lose some of it's vigour, trying to pursue you but the sword does not want to go. Eventually, it seems to give up.

"Ok, that's enough of that shit! I trusted you, man! You said none would pass - but they all did! They all passed! And look, yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't bring you back a taco, I tried, I really did but on my way back I passed this toddler, and he was crying and he was hungry, so I gave him the ghost taco I got for you. That's why I didn't bring you anything. Also it turns out that Ghost Tacos are fatal to the living so you dodged a bullet there, my friend. Also that means that the toddler is dead so you can stop worrying about him."

Right on cue an adorable little ghost knight with an ill-fitting helmet and clothes caked in blood and glow-in-the-dark taco-meat waddles through the wall swinging an oversized sword and yelling "No passes! No passes!"

Happy ending!

"So anyway, we're done, BeeK - I see you come back this way, I'll have your legs! Now get loooooAAAAAAARGHHHOOOOOoorrrrhhgg!" he exclaims as the Phantom Limb rips through his chest like an exocet missile through a slice of ciabatta, aimed right at The Black Knight's head!

Attack: 16 Damage: 2

I say "aimed" but it's really hard to do that when there's a ghost doorman in your way - the hand sails harmlessly overhead, then wheels around for another pass. You're not out of it yet, but it's left the sword in the tomb, almost as if the book wasn't written with detachable ghost arms in mind!

Crap, more of that? Stumps asks the arm Then take more of this crap! then he returns to the tried-and-truly-ineffective methods of the past, the old ax-torch combo

Ax action 11 if hit damage is 10

and Torch bonus 7 if hit damage is 4 +1 fire

Gotta learn some new moves. Or get into a new situation.

Greg's axe catches the Phantom Limb right between the nail and skin in its little finger. Mercifully it has no mouth and cannot squeal like a piggie, instead simply dissipating. 

The tomb falls silent. The door guardian inclined his head, suggesting that if you don't **** off it will get loud again. 

The mini-guardian rides his oversized sword around like a horse. 

Oh my sodding Lord Dee'emm the Hoofmonger prays I finally effing killed something. Stumps is so jazzed he barely resents the little hamster****er riding him. Plus, the shinies cover a lot of degradation. His rage fades as the appendage-deficient quartet **** off to seek a long rest and more qwests.

I'm not gonna bogart all the shinies he says to the gang If I score some real coin I'll tip out. Just wanna control the distribution.

(you are a dark bastard, Nunberry, killing off an innocent toddler with evil tacos and calling it a happy ending. I like that and fear that in equal measure)