Dice rolls aren't showing up yet - could be you need to edit the post and save it. Could also be the fabric of D&DB rebelling against you rolling 2d6 for damage when I clearly told you it's 1d8. Not that I have any power here - I'm not going to force you to follow the Patriarchy's rules, you go be the best you you can be.
Well, his giggling stopped awful fast with that attack. Even in death, the mimic looks very convincingly like a stump of a leg. God bless those guys. Such troopers. 2 legs left. One of them is trembling with fear. The other is trembling with adrenal surge.
Yunitar the Unitaur has trained for years in the Temple of Forgotten Legs in the art of leg wrestling, leg anatomy, leg shaving, and legos. His specialty and focus was on the different kinds of trembling legs do and why. He can tell from the way the calf is moving northward to southward rather than eastward to westward that this is more of a fearful trembling, and the way the kneecap is angled only confirms it.
That level of commitment is inspiring. And I'm a level 30 bard - here you go 12
That makes your attack roll a 17, and you just turned that last leg mimic into a stringy jam. You're free! But lookout! From the grate up above comes a snakeing snakey snake - it snakes down, rears back and strikes - Oppose this grapple roll!
You deftly dodge the clutching coils, flipping backwards with the grace of a swan who's a mascot for a finishing school before pistoning your one true hoof at it's face. But it doesn't have a face - there's just a clutching 3-pronged claw which grabs your foot even as the hoof connects, and begins hauling you up.... up towards the grate, up towards the light.
The grate opens and you're hauled out into the light - the sudden change blinds you. You feel yourself slammed down on some kind of slab, to your right someone say "Lolth's webby hole, Derek - what did you do to this one?"
Another voice chuckles. "Delusion pit. You know, the Leg Mimics one"
"Leg Mimics? You absolute bastard! On a Centaur???"
Derek sighs. "Jasper old pal, If you can't do the time, don't get caught! Anyway, help me roll him out onto the street"
You feel yourself being dragged off the slab - thunk! - and across the floor. Your eyes are just starting to adjust when they're seared by the dazzling noonday sun. There's a click and two weights flop to the ground beside you - as the blood begins to flow back into them, you realise they're arms. You feel a kick in the chest that winds you - by the time you're done gasping for breath your vision has cleared. Derek and Jasper are gone. You're lying in the street outside what looks like a tavern, several storeys of half-timbered wattle and daub towering over you. A massive wooden scimitar hangs from a cantilever outside, emblazoned with the words "The Swinging Sword". Looking down at your ruined body, you see 3 of your 4 once-beautiful legs have been crushed beyond all use.
(And here we must pause the game because I haven't read the book of Princes of the Apocalypse and I didn't bring it to work, but this is where they recommend you start if you're a level 1. I'll see if I can get time to leaf through a chapter or two tonight. AdjutantReflux, now would be a great time for you to make a reappearance.)
OK, I'll level with you. It may shock you to learn that despite being the inventor of the "Leg Mimic" - google it, this thread is the #1 hit and the only one that's not about Sciatica pains! - I'm not actually a qualified DM. So here's what we're going to do
1. Are we really continuing with this?
If no : Oh thank christ.
If yes : Really? There are a lot of good shows on the telly these days, and there's birds and stuff outside. Don't close off those avenues!
If still yes : OK, if you insist. Go to 2 ->
2. Do you want to remain a Centaur?
If Yes : You are severely crippled and are either going to live the rest of your life as a beggar on the streets of Red Larch, you may be involved in a mysterious accident and end up a new pot of glue in the tannery, or we QUEST FOR LEGS!
If No : Let me know, and I'll commenculate the required shenanigans to change things up at which point you can roll for stats, pick a class, all that good stuff. I favour Roll 5, drop the highest and lowest.
2. Do you want to move this to a real thread?
If yes : That means that we are GM and Player until 3 failed death saves do we part, your character sheet is making a promise even if your heart isn't.
If no : I can't wait for the original guy to come back and think "5 pages of entries! I'm so popular! Wait, what the fuck is all this???" - And because we can't turn off the recruitment badge, someone is bound to come along eventually and try to join...... any second now..... just need to be patient.....
3. If we're continuing, shall we open this up to more applicants?
If yes : I'm thinking they have to post what their hideous maiming injury is and how/why they did it to themselves in the Pit of Delusion. And stats I guess....
If no : I'm your private DM, a DM for money, I'll narrate what you want me to doooooooooo.
I am in no way trying to buy time while I read chapter 6 of the book. (but apropos of nothing, it's longer than it looks. )