This comes from the Colosseum of conquest after there wasn't any responses for a few days and I got pummeled by quickened metamagic to death
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Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Guy we captured and are interrogating: Where is your friend? Himbo paladin: OUR FRIENDS ARE ALL AROUND US! Guy: I meant the wounded one, not the one you're looking at Himbo: HAH, YOU CALLED YOURSELF OUR FRIEND, NO TAKEBACKSIES
At the end of last night's Saltmarsh campaign, everyone got to level up to level three. The DM was going around discussing strategy for the level-ups, and he had made a remark about how glad he was that I, a Paladin, didn't have Guiding Bolt because it's overpowered and whatnot. Now this game is rather relaxed, and we are allowed to play music/sound effects from our laptops. (Heroic music for beating a big enemy, Taco Bell dong sound effect for Toll the Dead etc.) I had This Song loaded up and ready to play the next time I got a crit (it never happened).
My conversation with the DM went as follows:
Me: Hey, remember what you said about Guiding Bolt?
DM: Yeah, wh- NO! HOW! I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A CLERIC SPELL!
Me: *insert sussy Jerma face* Nope! *shows him Oath of Glory* *This masterpiece starts playing*
Ah it was glorious. If you are familiar with the scene this song is from, you know the feeling I am talking about
You probably had to be there to appreciate it, but boy, was it funny.
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Deep within a forest called the Haunting Woods, the Barbarian for no reason at all:
🎶"It's a beautiful day in this Haunting Woods; a beautiful day for a haunting. Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my haunting?"🎵
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
*Fighting a hook horror, after her mace dinked off of it's hide*
Sister Serena: Feel the burn of Pelor's Sacred Flame!
*Hook horror fails the save and I roll a 1 for damage*
DM: More of a sacred spark.
===
*Shortly after several low rolls for nonproficient Int-based checks (Serena has Int 10)*
DM: Roll insight.
Me(ooc): Okay, that's something I'm theoretically good at!
*I roll a natural 1*
DM: Theoretically.
===
*Not dice related, but there's a halfling NPC who is represented by a token of a young, attractive blond man and one player repeatedly referred to him with female pronouns by mistake*
DM: He. Even though Al is very pretty, he is a guy.
Another player: He is really pretty, though.
Me: He looks like a Final Fantasy protagonist, so the mistake is totally understandable.
Monk: "GOOSE TIME!" *proceeds to pull an angry goose from a bag of holding in the BBEG's banquet hall, to excellent effect*
lol. When I first read 'Goose Time!' I thought it was a custom Monk move they'd created! Like Quivering Palm or Flying Dragon Kick...
Along those lines, my monk has a moves called Flying Lemur Dignity Stealer, Undead Bread Redemption, and Flurry of Bros.
Those sound TOTALLY AWESOME!! Please link for the descriptions!! I really don't like how vague Monk attacks are... I keep getting hung up trying to do custom create strikes like "throat strike" to silence spell casters (Obviously too boring, if practical...).
Is 'Flurry of Bros.' like a Smash Brothers reference?
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“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe” When the Winds fail you, row.
Me: Hey, our last names almost are identical. You're Brightwell, I'm Blackwell.
*cough* *cough* mhm yep same
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
The dead bird yawns
This comes from the Colosseum of conquest after there wasn't any responses for a few days and I got pummeled by quickened metamagic to death
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Dream of Days Lore Bard 9/Wizard 4 Baulder's Gate: Descent to Avernus (In Person/Over Zoom)
Saleadon Morgul Battle Smith Artificer 11 Tyranny of Dragons (In Person/Over Zoom)
Hurtharn Serpti Ghostslayer Blood Hunter 7 Spelljammer (Over Zoom)
Ex Sig
Monk: "GOOSE TIME!" *proceeds to pull an angry goose from a bag of holding in the BBEG's banquet hall, to excellent effect*
Nikolai Buckman | vampire | bard
Solace Redgrove | tiefling | bard
lol. When I first read 'Goose Time!' I thought it was a custom Monk move they'd created! Like Quivering Palm or Flying Dragon Kick...
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
Guy we captured and are interrogating: Where is your friend?
Himbo paladin: OUR FRIENDS ARE ALL AROUND US!
Guy: I meant the wounded one, not the one you're looking at
Himbo: HAH, YOU CALLED YOURSELF OUR FRIEND, NO TAKEBACKSIES
At the end of last night's Saltmarsh campaign, everyone got to level up to level three. The DM was going around discussing strategy for the level-ups, and he had made a remark about how glad he was that I, a Paladin, didn't have Guiding Bolt because it's overpowered and whatnot. Now this game is rather relaxed, and we are allowed to play music/sound effects from our laptops. (Heroic music for beating a big enemy, Taco Bell dong sound effect for Toll the Dead etc.) I had This Song loaded up and ready to play the next time I got a crit (it never happened).
My conversation with the DM went as follows:
Me: Hey, remember what you said about Guiding Bolt?
DM: Yeah, wh- NO! HOW! I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A CLERIC SPELL!
Me: *insert sussy Jerma face* Nope! *shows him Oath of Glory* *This masterpiece starts playing*
Ah it was glorious. If you are familiar with the scene this song is from, you know the feeling I am talking about
You probably had to be there to appreciate it, but boy, was it funny.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Along those lines, my monk has a moves called Flying Lemur Dignity Stealer, Undead Bread Redemption, and Flurry of Bros.
Deep within a forest called the Haunting Woods, the Barbarian for no reason at all:
🎶"It's a beautiful day in this Haunting Woods; a beautiful day for a haunting. Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my haunting?"🎵
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
I'm guessing a musical phantom possessed him for a second.
"The spectral axe is immune to all conditions and damage"
-decent into avernus after 5 rounds of combat
I don't ever mean to be rude in my replies, I just have trouble resisting a good argument ;P
“It hit him in the groin.”
”I hit him in the groin again.”
”Do specters have groins?”
After a 33 damage fireball: “There were families living there! Children! Well, no there wheren’t, but still!”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
*Context: We walked into a room to find a frog sitting on a table*
The Dragonborn: WHAT IF IT'S A MONSTER KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT
Me, an Air Genasi monk: As a monk, I respect all innocent lives and creatures. BLACKTOOTH STOP DON'T DO THAT TO THE POOR FROG
The Tiefling: As a druid, I respect ALL living things.
The Tabaxi: As a cleric, I strongly agree.
Me: Still, I want to investigate the frog.
*The monk picks up the frog for a closer look*
DM: Crow falls unconscious.
Me (to the rest of our party): DoN't tOuCh ThE fRoG iT's pOiSoNoUs!
DM: You're unconscious.
Me: Crap.
Certified gay geek
Still don’t really know how to play this game, but I love it anyway.
he/they
Sister Serena versus the dice:
*Fighting a hook horror, after her mace dinked off of it's hide*
Sister Serena: Feel the burn of Pelor's Sacred Flame!
*Hook horror fails the save and I roll a 1 for damage*
DM: More of a sacred spark.
===
*Shortly after several low rolls for nonproficient Int-based checks (Serena has Int 10)*
DM: Roll insight.
Me(ooc): Okay, that's something I'm theoretically good at!
*I roll a natural 1*
DM: Theoretically.
===
*Not dice related, but there's a halfling NPC who is represented by a token of a young, attractive blond man and one player repeatedly referred to him with female pronouns by mistake*
DM: He. Even though Al is very pretty, he is a guy.
Another player: He is really pretty, though.
Me: He looks like a Final Fantasy protagonist, so the mistake is totally understandable.
"Dragons aren't reptiles, dragons are DRAGONS!"
i can roll nat 1s on command
my homebrew thingies
Magic Items - Monsters - Subclasses
Paladin: "I don't think they deserved that."
Death & Trickery Clerics in unison, "You remember the Dead Baby Pit, right?"
Those sound TOTALLY AWESOME!! Please link for the descriptions!! I really don't like how vague Monk attacks are... I keep getting hung up trying to do custom create strikes like "throat strike" to silence spell casters (Obviously too boring, if practical...).
Is 'Flurry of Bros.' like a Smash Brothers reference?
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
Mage Party member: Watch out! He's been possessed by Mr. Rodgers!
Gnome: <to Barbarian> I'm an ADULT... ADULT. Keep yer filthy Barbarian mitts off me!
Halfling: Me Too! <to barbarian> I'm OLDER than you!
Cleric: Does that mean he won't be able to use Beserk or his Barbarian Skills because he's so serene?
Gnome: <To Barbarian> Bum the Halfling, Not me! He's obviously more child-like!
Barbarian: Can I role to resist the sudden urge I have to put on a button down sweater and tickle the Halfling?
Halfling: <running away> NOOOOOO!!!
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
There have been 2121 posts and this has yet to be topped
i can roll nat 1s on command
my homebrew thingies
Magic Items - Monsters - Subclasses
Me: Hey, our last names almost are identical. You're Brightwell, I'm Blackwell.
Assimar Paladin: that is pretty funny.
Human Wizard: Maybe you two are distance relatives.
Me: Nah. My tribe is primarily Goliaths. Except for my uncle who is a Minotaur.
Oh yeah. Sounds like they deserved it.
*cough* *cough* mhm yep same
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips