Does anyone have any idea how to write a Terms and Conditions?
My players will soon arrive at a large marketplace, and as one of them studies law, i would like to write a short , perhaps page long, terms and conditions for them to look at. Problem is, i have no idea how to make it sound some what like a real terms and conditions.
It is a sleazy evil salesman who has written it, so it needs to be unfair and immoral, but it is also meant to be played for laughs.
Name of the shop is Used Magical Curiosities, and the owner is called Charn Latarn.
I was thinking it should contain something like,
1. In case of damages.
2. No refunds
Does anyone have more ideas? or knowledge about how to write the paper?
Any complaints will be judged by the nearest Red Dragon. Complainant will be required to pay the dragon's fees in person, a minimum of one week before the case will be heard.
There is a running joke among us that a red dragon suddenly appears every time we try and do something completely idiotic, so this fits better than you can imagine :)
My players will soon arrive at a large marketplace, and as one of them studies law, i would like to write a short , perhaps page long, terms and conditions for them to look at. Problem is, i have no idea how to make it sound some what like a real terms and conditions.
I would bribe that player (Inspiration or something) into writing something for the entertainment of the other players, if he's studying contract law I'm sure he can do a much better job than most people on this forum (better than me, certainly).
He certanly could write this, but we are not a big group, and i think it would ruin a bit of the fun for him if i did that. He is however the one i would go to if i ever do something like this with another group. :)
The seller shall be held exempt from any penalties of law within any kingdom, region, or principality, that are incurred by the use of this object after sale is complete.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
He certanly could write this, but we are not a big group, and i think it would ruin a bit of the fun for him if i did that. He is however the one i would go to if i ever do something like this with another group. :)
I'd offer it as an option, not a requirement. Plenty of players would find that kind of thing fun, depends on the player.
The seller is not responsible for damage caused by friendly fire accidents or failed saving throws.
The seller is not liable in situations where gods, demons, archfey, their agents and assigns or any other extraplanar beings become vengeful, angered, really p’d off or mildly annoyed by the use of this product.
All warranties are void upon travel to the ethereal plane.
The product may cause petrifcation or polymorphing if applied incorrectly. The product may cause petrification or polymorphing if applied correctly.
Seller not responsible if any items are cursed. Seller not responsible for any changes to alignment, gender, race, class or hair color caused by use of any items.
Seller not responsible for explosions or other discharges of elemental or any other energies.
The seller is not liable in situations where gods, demons, archfey, their agents and assigns or any other extraplanar beings become vengeful, angered, really p’d off or mildly annoyed by the use of this product.
This is my favorite.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
The seller is not liable in situations where gods, demons, archfey, their agents and assigns or any other extraplanar beings become vengeful, angered, really p’d off or mildly annoyed by the use of this product.
Hello everyone.
Does anyone have any idea how to write a Terms and Conditions?
My players will soon arrive at a large marketplace, and as one of them studies law, i would like to write a short , perhaps page long, terms and conditions for them to look at. Problem is, i have no idea how to make it sound some what like a real terms and conditions.
It is a sleazy evil salesman who has written it, so it needs to be unfair and immoral, but it is also meant to be played for laughs.
Name of the shop is Used Magical Curiosities, and the owner is called Charn Latarn.
I was thinking it should contain something like,
1. In case of damages.
2. No refunds
Does anyone have more ideas? or knowledge about how to write the paper?
The user is responsible for any magical accidents that may occur by using this object.
The seller provides no guarantee that the item will function in combat conditions.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Good one! im adding it to the contract :)
With very fine print.
Creating Epic Boons on DDB
DDB Buyers' Guide
Hardcovers, DDB & You
Content Troubleshooting
Great idea XD
Perhaps i should write it on the back of the paper?
Any complaints will be judged by the nearest Red Dragon. Complainant will be required to pay the dragon's fees in person, a minimum of one week before the case will be heard.
There is a running joke among us that a red dragon suddenly appears every time we try and do something completely idiotic, so this fits better than you can imagine :)
I would bribe that player (Inspiration or something) into writing something for the entertainment of the other players, if he's studying contract law I'm sure he can do a much better job than most people on this forum (better than me, certainly).
He certanly could write this, but we are not a big group, and i think it would ruin a bit of the fun for him if i did that. He is however the one i would go to if i ever do something like this with another group. :)
The seller shall be held exempt from any penalties of law within any kingdom, region, or principality, that are incurred by the use of this object after sale is complete.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
I'd offer it as an option, not a requirement. Plenty of players would find that kind of thing fun, depends on the player.
The seller is not responsible for damage caused by friendly fire accidents or failed saving throws.
The seller is not liable in situations where gods, demons, archfey, their agents and assigns or any other extraplanar beings become vengeful, angered, really p’d off or mildly annoyed by the use of this product.
All warranties are void upon travel to the ethereal plane.
The product may cause petrifcation or polymorphing if applied incorrectly.
The product may cause petrification or polymorphing if applied correctly.
Seller not responsible if any items are cursed.
Seller not responsible for any changes to alignment, gender, race, class or hair color caused by use of any items.
Seller not responsible for explosions or other discharges of elemental or any other energies.
I love all of these, especially polymorphing if applied incorrectly/correctly. :)
They are moving through a kingdom right now so this is perfect
Do not put the incorrectly/correctly lines next to each. Put some other stuff in-between them and let the players discover them.
This is my favorite.
WOTC lies. We know that WOTC lies. WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. We know that WOTC knows that we know that WOTC lies. And still they lie.
Because of the above (a paraphrase from Orwell) I no longer post to the forums -- PM me if you need help or anything.
Thats a good idea, they have a good habit of noticing details.
I have already begun thinking of angry lawfull celetstials that complains to the party. Now i just need to think of some cursed magic items to sell.
Thank you, I was very happy with that one.
Good call
Did you all get those as a little Easter egg to 1e saving throws?