Deck Of Many More Things

 Aberration. you gain telepathy within a range of 90 feet.

Lust. The first creature to see you after you pull the card is Charmed by you, removable only by a Wish spell. 

DM's Significant Other.  At any time you can overrule the DM's decision on anything that affects your character. If used more than once per long rest, there is a cumulative 10% chance per additional use that the DM breaks up with you, your character dies without chance of resurrection, and you must create a new character using strict 3d6 in order stats.

Tiamat. Once in the next year, you can summon one dragon of your choosing, which stays for 24 hours, and is loyal to you and anyone else you decide.

Medusa. The player is petrified. This can only be reversed by divine intervention.

Devil. Within the next year, the player can summon 1 greater feind, or, 5 lesser friends.

Census. you can ask the dm the name of everyone you encounter in the next year. the dm can't punish you for this

Roadie. Whoever holds this card must carry all the baggage. Uniquely, this card effect is transferable.

Rhythm. Whoever drew this card now has a special effect. They must play the song "Thick of it" by KSI. They cannot attack until KSI says "Thick of it". If KSI does say it, the player overrides the turn of whoever turn it is right now.

Assassin. You draw 2d4 more cards, which immediately lose their color and effect. they then become a weapon that only the drawer has proficiency in with the thrown (30/90) and finnesse property, dealing 4d8 damage, with the damage type based on the card type. (E.g. aberration does psychic damage, medusa does poison damage, rythm does thunder damage, etc.) They are destroyed on a hit or miss, unless it was a nat 20.

Bulwark. The drawer of the card gains Temporary Hit Points equal to their Maximum HIt Points. In addition, until these Temp Hit Points are depleted, the drawer of the Bulwark card is immune to the Magic Missile spell, similar to how the Shield spell works.

Claws. For the next 24 hours, if you hit with an attack, it is treated as a critical hit. While this effect is active, any attack that hits you gains the same benefit. At the end of the 24 hours you can choose to lengthen the effect for another 24 hours. If you choose not to, this card loses all magical effects.

Death. The next person you touch dies, you cannot be aware that this is an active effect

*Goldie!*

Spell Mastery. You gain the ability to cast any level 1 spell at will, no matter if any feature says that you cannot

Cataclysm. when you draw this card, it hovers 3 inches above your head. while the card is above your head and you hit a creature with an attack, the card hovers above their head instead. after 1 minute, the card explodes, dealing 10d6 force damage to every creature within 10 feet. additionally, the creature that the card was above when it explodes is transported to a random place in a random plane of existence.

Disaster: all creatures within 50 miles must make a DC 10 con save or be turned into a zombie

Crush: around you in a 100 foot radius when you draw this card gravity increases, and all creatures in the area gain a x5 increase in weight. small creatures take 3d4 bludgeoning damage medium creatures take 3d6 bludgeoning damage, large creatures take 3d8 bludgeoning damage, huge creatures take 3d10 bludgeoning damage, and gargantuan creatures take 3d12 bludgeoning damage. at the beginning of their turn, a creature must make a strength save, being able to move half their speed on a success and being unable to move on a failure. all melee attacks are made with disadvantage, and nonmagical ranged attacks automatically fail. the increase in gravity in this area cannot be dispelled by anything short of a wish spell.

Dispel, the area within 1 mile of the place where this card was drawn becomes a wild magic zone