Hi Guys, I recently started my first campaign as a DM for a group of new players and I was wondering what kind of mental tools you all use to help yourselves get over the anxiety of running a group for new players, and also how to get past the fears of being new to DMing. I guess it doesnt help I have Generalized Anxiety disorder on top of it all, lol. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
When I first started DMing, I really didn't do anything to prepare. I used a module, the Mad Manor of Astabar, to be precise, and my group used online resources to create their characters. The first thing I realized, is yes, something will go wrong. It always does. You will definitely have a derailed campaign sometime, but don't worry. That's normal. I had a friend who was running an EoTE Star Wars campaign and his group interrogated and broke the legs of the guy who was supposed to get them into a secret organization. What I do to prepare for the derailing, is I under-prepare. Over-preparation is not a good thing to do, because your players will probably ignore half of the stuff you made. If you want tips to be a better DM, Matt Mercer has some great ones over on YouTube (link below). What you can do to prepare yourself is come up with scenarios in which you act out what the players are doing. You can try to figure out what will go wrong and how to fix it. If you don't have that kind of time, then just be prepared for anything to happen. If this is your first time, don't sweat it. You will have many times to get better and improve. No one's perfect on their first time. D&D is a complex game. What I do, is read through the source books and my campaign to prepare. The more familiar you are, the easier it will roll. Get it, roll...
Summary: Expect something to go wrong. You will have multiple tries to get it right. Review your campaign and familiarize yourself with it.
I hope you can use some of these suggestions. Remember, be prepared, but not too prepared. Have fun with your new group!
You ever see Shia yelling "Just do it"? From my experience, Anxiety tends to happens when you think too much about things. As I've DMed more and more, I've prepared less. The best moments that have happened to me while playing or DMing have always been the ones that just happened completely unexpectedly.
Start with an Adventure Module, perhaps the Lost Mine of Phandelver. This will allow you and the players to take your time learning how the game works, feels, how you like play and run the game, and what your strengths and weaknesses are. When you make your first custom campaign, don't try to have some massive overarching 20 character levels story. Either make it a Level 1 to 5 self contained story, or the next adventure of those Characters from the previous campaign (approximately Levels 5-8). I suggest going with the continuing adventures of the previous characters, have a short self contained story that takes 3 to 2 levels, occasionally have some reoccurring characters, and keep doing that until they reach level 20. Then you can try your hand at bigger adventures.
The bad news is that jitters may never go away completely - but even famous seasoned actors get nerves before going out of the stage, or before the camera.
The good news is that once you get started, you'll probably be so busy that you won't have time to remember that you're nervous :D
I usually get all tense and worried right up until the time I say the phrase "Alright ... when we last left our heroes .... " - and I've been playing D&D for a good long time.
Also - great news! - you have new Players, so you're all learning it together, and you can support each other doing it. So long as everyone goes in with reasonable expectations, is willing to cut everyone else slack as you learn the game, and you're all having fun - it's a solid win. Things will only get better from there.
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i love Matt Coleville! I like in this video he starts off with telling you not to compare yourself to Mercer and Chris. I think that is where maybe a good portion of my anxiety comes from, due to the fact that the CR crew is what really got me back into the game after so many years of not playing. I keep having to remind myself that I am my own person I am not Matt, Mercer, or any of these guys I watch run the game. I still look up to them as role models on how I want to be as a DM but I keep having to remind myself that I have to find my own style that makes me comfortable and works for me and my players. I think I am getting there, it just feels like every time I sit behind the screen and get ready, I wanna reach for my anxiety meds to calm myself down! I really hope after a few sessions this starts to go away or at least become more manageable lol!
If you want tips to be a better DM, Matt Mercer has some great ones over on YouTube (link below).
I actually have been trying to work my way through his videos for the last couple of weeks, I just keep getting distracted or bored, it might be part of my health issues, heh. But I am working on it, I'm trying to break it into small doses, like maybe a video or two per day, hopefully that will help! Thanks for the advice!
Hi Guys, I recently started my first campaign as a DM for a group of new players and I was wondering what kind of mental tools you all use to help yourselves get over the anxiety of running a group for new players, and also how to get past the fears of being new to DMing. I guess it doesnt help I have Generalized Anxiety disorder on top of it all, lol. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
I've just done this so....
1. Start small. A one shot or short campaign with less scope for wild sand boxiness will help you feel in control and prepared.
2. Use your own material. If you "wrote" it, you know it. I tried to run my very first game using LMoP and it was a nightmare feeling like I'd forgotten something all the time. This campaign failed and when I tried again I followed my own advice.
3. Just do it. I have GAD too, the time I feel most anxious is before I start. 15 minutes in and I'm having so much fun that I've long forgotten my anxiety. This was exactly the same before I used to perform in a band too. seconds before the first song I'd be bricking it, then when I started singing I became a rockstar (In my mind at least lol)
I, unfortunately, never suffered with DM jitters. I started out when I was young enough I didn't care about how things were going to go, and I have almost always played with people I was familiar with. With those two things, any fear of making a fool of myself, doing terrible, or anything else was never part of the formula. The flip side of it is I have helped many a person start their way down the DM path. I've seen every type of apprehension, anxiety, and fear that could manifest from someone taking up the mantle for the first time. The single most common thing that happens is that they eventually, all of them, gain the confidence to run the games without those issues overwhelming them.
First things first: No matter how much of a veteran, or newbie, you are to DMing you will, inevitably, make a mistake and you'll just have to roll with it. If a player corrects you, take their advice and readjust going forward. If a player is upset about a ruling, explain that you made a mistake and you'll correct it going forward. If you prefer the ruling that you made and no one is bothered by it, don't say anything. If you figure out that you made a mistake and it needs to be addressed, let your players know at the end of the game or beginning of the next session. All in all, just don't let it consume you, a human DM is much better than one who refuses to acknowledge their mistakes.
In that same vein, be familiar with your material. A common D&D truism is "All the plans of a DM go out the window the moment you introduce Players". DMing takes preparation, sometimes hours of preparation, and it's a necessary evil. The more you know about what the players may run into during their session, the more you'll be able to handle the situations that don't go as planned. You'll also be able to better handle the pace of the game, helping to keep things moving at a comfortable speed. You'll be able to give the information that the players need with a few glances at your material. It just helps keep things running smoother and takes a lot of stress off you during the game.
Improvisation is a necessary tool to have in your bag of tricks, don't be afraid to make things up on the fly if you're unsure. This is something that gets easier with practice and knowledge of the game. You'll run into questions that the players have which aren't covered in the modules or you weren't expecting. This is where understanding your material will allow you to come up with answers that fit with the situation. The players will invariably wander in directions that aren't covered by your material, by knowing your information you will be able to make something up. You'll be able to give them a little something for their efforts and then turn them back toward what they were supposed to do. The players are driving the game, you're giving them the paths they can take, and they will do things you won't expect. Just relax and roll with it, as long as you have a grasp of the material you'll be able to keep bringing them back to the story proper.
Consistency is also paramount in your games. When you make a ruling, when you explain that an effect does something, when you give an NPC a name, or you say something doesn't exist in your world, it's imperative you keep it the same at all times. Nothing frustrates players worse than learning the way the world works and three sessions later that foundation is stripped out because you changed your mind. It's even more frustrating when you change those things without ever explaining why. If you change something, address it before the game starts again, this way the players can adjust their expectations to fit. Taking notes is going to make this type of consistency easier, since you can remind yourself of the rulings you've made and why. This also helps keep the players immersed in your game since they know what to expect when they do decide to act.
Finally; this is a game, you're doing it because you want to have fun with a group of friends. Whether you're sitting down to play a card game, hopping on a console to play some first-person shooter, or stepping outside to play ball, you do it because it's fun. The same holds true for D&D, it's a social game, a way to enjoy yourself and company, and it is a choice you make. Go in with the mind frame of having fun, go in with the idea of hanging out, and just have a good night with your friends. As time goes on the tone of the games will change, many groups start off looking like Monty Python pretending to be Lord of the Rings. There's times everyone will go all murder-hobo on you and kill everything and anything that looks like it might, possibly, be a bad guy. Eventually it will transition into the groups that are enjoying a good story, tossing out memes, making in-jokes about previous games, and you'll be having a blast.
I would like to finish this off with a comment I saw recently: "No, you're not Matt Mercer, you're not Chris Perkins. You're not Mike Mearls, Satine Phoenix, Jeremy Crawford, or any other DM you measure yourself against. And you don't need to be. Because you're you, and you're perfect for your group and your table."
I wish you amazing adventures, great gaming, and many memorable moments. Welcome to DMing, may your journeys be long and delightful.
My approach is this...there is SO MUCH MATERIAL and rules to know that it's okay that you don't know all of it the first session or for that matter, the 40th. Expect your players to own the abilities and spells and skill, etc of THEIR characters. You shouldn't be the one to go looking up what Spell-X does when they say that they are going to cast Spell-X. Though you as the DM own the encounters and overarching story, I'm finding that the entire experience is a collaborative effort among everyone, and that's what makes the whole thing fun! Don't fret what you don't know. Mistakes will happen. You will forget things. Sometimes players will say, "but I have ability-X, would Y still happen..." and if you as a DM roll a 20 [this happened to me], you get to say, "yes, but the opponents rolled a 20 [and the whole table observed the roll, so it was not fudged]; ergo, their ability was so effective, you still did not Z..." As long as the group knows that you are new and trying, hopefully they'll be appreciative of the effort and experience. The best advice I've read...be consistent, but also adaptable/flexible as you learn.
You've taken your first step into a larger world... and had some wonderful responses so far - and you're absolutely in the right place to pick up tips, tricks and advice. Ultimately, as with anything, being a good DM does take a little time and practice - and while that doesn't mean you can't be a great DM from session 1, it's definitely something that you grow more comfortable with as time goes on. To help make you feel a little more confident, here's a few tips I've picked up over the years, and some suggestions:
Be prepared. Now that doesn't mean memorise the DM Guide and Players Handbook, but it might be good to brush up on the major rules. Know how basic gameplay works, such as rolling initiative, calculating damage, making skill checks, stealth and surprise, and that sort of thing. Some have suggested using a premade campaign, others have suggested writing your own. In my experience, a simple premade campaign will help you and your players find your feet. I'd recommend the Starter Set - Lost Mines of Phandelver; it's catered to new players and DMs alike, and holds up as a great adventure in its own right. It'll introduce new aspects of the game as you go, so you won't be dropped in the deep end. It handles the world, so you can focus on running the game.
Set expectations - for yourself and your players. Everyone goes into D&D with different expectations. Some think they'll spend all night getting to act out their favourite characters, wooing the barmaid, schmoozing with the local nobles, or gambling in the tavern. Others expect to be plunged into an ancient dungeon, filled with monsters to fight, traps to overcome and treasure to find, and are happy to pass on that social interaction. Same goes for the DM - some want to get straight to the action, stringing one dungeon crawl with the next, with perhaps at most a night in town to sell off all that excess loot and pick up the next quest. Others want to tell an epic tale, filled with mystery, drama and intrigue. Most players and DMs want something in between. Getting together with your players, ideally in person, but in some sort of messaging group in a pinch, to chat about what your players are looking for - and the type of game your looking to run, is a good idea. This is a good idea to create characters too, so that the party is at least fairly compatible with the adventure.
Don't sweat the little stuff. It's easy to think that your players are scrutinising your every move and decision; but trust me, they're more concerned about their own character. They don't realise the little mistakes you made, the incorrect DC you assigned to a check, or the fact you subtracted 5hp from the wrong goblin during combat. If you need a minute, just be honest about it - if a player wants to do something out-of-the-box, but you need a minute to figure out how it'll work, just say 'Great idea, let's find out if that'll work! Give me a minute to think of the right skill check...' Your players really won't mind - and on that...
Run with it. You've got it all planned - they'll go into the cave, they'll fight the guards, then find the key in the lockbox guarded by two big dogs. Then they'll spend a good while trying to solve the puzzle behind the locked door that will lead them to a map with directions to the lair of the leader... but then John, playing the fighter, walks in, critical hits one guard, and knocks out the other, forcing him to lead the party to the lair of the leader and bypassing the entire dungeon. This is one of those classic 'best laid plans...' moments, that can - and I venture will - happen to you. No plan survives contact with the party, so learn to just run with it. Nothing is more frustrating to players than feeling like they're on rails. We play D&D for that freedom of being able to do creative things. I imagine it's this point that probably gives you the most anxiety - 'what if they do something I haven't planned for and don't know what to do next?' - Let the players guide you. Ask them what they want to do. Chances are, you'll be able to steer them back to content you do have planned, and they'll feel a lot more satisfied thinking they've gotten their on their own. In the above example (which was real), I had the guard lead them to the lair of the leader, but used the remainder of the previous cave. Remember: They don't know what you had planned.
Be firm but fair and let the game flow. You have a big job as a DM. Not only are you running the world, and all its denizens, you're also running the game and refereeing the rules. There'll come a point where you won't know the rule on something - and neither will a player. Rather than breaking the flow and cracking out the rule book, make a rule that makes sense, make a quick note of it, and then look it up later - out of session. Other times, players might try to challenge your ruling, even if it's correct. Such as wanting to use Acrobatics to leap across a chasm. You have to stand your ground, and don't let it derail your session. A good line to use is: 'I'm making this ruling, because I believe it to be correct. Let's chat about it later, and we can double check the rules.' If the player is absolutely correct, such as they know you've miscalculated, or have simply forgotten something, then of course, go with the obviously correct rule. You'll more than likely know you made a mistake when they correct you in this instance.
Have fun! Sounds obvious, but most of the others here have said the same - this is a game that you're meant to enjoy. I have no doubt that once you get into, you'll thoroughly enjoy weaving epic tales with your friends. Me and my buddies still talk about sessions from 20+ years ago. Your friends will come to learn and appreciate how much work DMing is, and you'll come to be really proud of the stories you write and the players that navigate them.
No, but seriously... Nowadays I don't get very nervous except when things start to go horribly wrong. So unless that is happening, you have no reason to be nervous. I try to remind myself of that sometimes. By horribly wrong I mean people getting epileptic fits of unexplained rage, throwing fistfuls of dice, chewing up their character sheets while foaming at the mouth and suchlike.
My best advice is to avoid pre-conceived ideas of what you want the game to be like. If you try to be like another group you've seen on a stream or something you will always fail, because you are not that group. Same goes for trying to be like a celebrity DM. The magic starts to happen when you do your own thing. I don't DM exactly like those people you see on the popular streams -- there are slight similarities but we are playing the same game, after all.
My best advice is to avoid pre-conceived ideas of what you want the game to be like. If you try to be like another group you've seen on a stream or something you will always fail, because you are not that group. Same goes for trying to be like a celebrity DM. The magic starts to happen when you do your own thing. I don't DM exactly like those people you see on the popular streams -- there are slight similarities but we are playing the same game, after all.
This.
You are there to discover your fun, and your Players' fun - not try and replicate someone else's game.
So long as you and your Players are having fun - you're getting it right. We can always learn and improve - but fun is never a failure.
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Few random tips... works for me! Do this before I DM to get the blood moving!
#1 (From high school drama class :-) : few minutes before the game stand up and shake it out, jump up and down, wave your arms and hands, etc. Actors do it, professional athletes do it (watch the beginning of an NBA/NFL/NHL game!) It gets rid of some nervous energy and gets you breathing.
#2 Make a pregame DM playlist, whatever works for you. Think arena rock, soundtracks, etc. Try AC/DC Thunderstruck, O Fortuna from Carmina Burana, The Greatest Show, etc the list is endless! Best when combined with #1, but don't hurt yourself lol.
#3 I always allow time at beginning of session for everyone to talk about nerd stuff, movies etc then usually excuse myself to go to the washroom and when I come back it's go time. Maybe even stand in the mirror with hoodie up . . . my palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already wife's spaghetti haha!
#4 Breathe, and don't do 1-2 in front of your players, they'll think you've gone of the deep end...
Get comfortable. You need to be comfortable in both position and location. If you're doing it at your own house you know the way around. Doing it at a friend's house can be more uncomfortable. Expecially if you have to rule over him as a DM. So make sure to get comfortable with your surroundings and the place you're in. Then find the best position in the room. Where do you feel most relaxed and comfortable. Is it with a wall up against your back? Or with a view of the entire room and all doors? Make sure that when you play you're not having tics because a plant is facing the wrong way that can have a larger impact than you would think.
Hi Guys, I recently started my first campaign as a DM for a group of new players
Great! Welcome to the game and welcome to this side of the GM's screen!
My best advice to you is "just do it". Just get out there and run the game.
Sure, things are going to go wrong. You're going to make bad calls. The players will do stupid things. The dice will roll badly. It's OK. If it's a bad call, just say "OK, that was a bad call, I'm not doing that again but right now lets just continue playing." If it was a really bad call, say, "OK, that was a really bad call, lets wind back time and start that combat again."
There will be times where you stare at your notes, appalled at how far the players have gone off your prepared areas. Just say to the people at the table, "Well, you're a long way from my prepared notes, let's have a coffee while I work out what happens next."
Every single time this happens, you'll learn something. And the next time will be better. And the next time, better still. The only trick is not to quit after the first mistake.
There is some really great advice here. A lot of it I use when I DM.
Something I didn't see mentioned was HUMOR. There's nothing like a good laugh between players to break the tension and form a bond. Not long ago I started a campaign with new players and pretty early in the campaign someone rolled a nat 20 on intimidation and made the guy piss his pants. I know it's lowball humor but everyone got a kick out of it, had a chuckle and felt more comfortable.
Hi Guys, I recently started my first campaign as a DM for a group of new players and I was wondering what kind of mental tools you all use to help yourselves get over the anxiety of running a group for new players, and also how to get past the fears of being new to DMing. I guess it doesnt help I have Generalized Anxiety disorder on top of it all, lol. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
When I first started DMing, I really didn't do anything to prepare. I used a module, the Mad Manor of Astabar, to be precise, and my group used online resources to create their characters. The first thing I realized, is yes, something will go wrong. It always does. You will definitely have a derailed campaign sometime, but don't worry. That's normal. I had a friend who was running an EoTE Star Wars campaign and his group interrogated and broke the legs of the guy who was supposed to get them into a secret organization. What I do to prepare for the derailing, is I under-prepare. Over-preparation is not a good thing to do, because your players will probably ignore half of the stuff you made. If you want tips to be a better DM, Matt Mercer has some great ones over on YouTube (link below). What you can do to prepare yourself is come up with scenarios in which you act out what the players are doing. You can try to figure out what will go wrong and how to fix it. If you don't have that kind of time, then just be prepared for anything to happen. If this is your first time, don't sweat it. You will have many times to get better and improve. No one's perfect on their first time. D&D is a complex game. What I do, is read through the source books and my campaign to prepare. The more familiar you are, the easier it will roll. Get it, roll...
Summary: Expect something to go wrong. You will have multiple tries to get it right. Review your campaign and familiarize yourself with it.
I hope you can use some of these suggestions. Remember, be prepared, but not too prepared. Have fun with your new group!
Matt Mercer's GM Tips
it's been a long time...
You ever see Shia yelling "Just do it"? From my experience, Anxiety tends to happens when you think too much about things. As I've DMed more and more, I've prepared less. The best moments that have happened to me while playing or DMing have always been the ones that just happened completely unexpectedly.
Start with an Adventure Module, perhaps the Lost Mine of Phandelver. This will allow you and the players to take your time learning how the game works, feels, how you like play and run the game, and what your strengths and weaknesses are. When you make your first custom campaign, don't try to have some massive overarching 20 character levels story. Either make it a Level 1 to 5 self contained story, or the next adventure of those Characters from the previous campaign (approximately Levels 5-8). I suggest going with the continuing adventures of the previous characters, have a short self contained story that takes 3 to 2 levels, occasionally have some reoccurring characters, and keep doing that until they reach level 20. Then you can try your hand at bigger adventures.
Welcome aboard, and welcome to DM'ing :)
Hope you have a lot of fun with it! :)
The bad news is that jitters may never go away completely - but even famous seasoned actors get nerves before going out of the stage, or before the camera.
The good news is that once you get started, you'll probably be so busy that you won't have time to remember that you're nervous :D
I usually get all tense and worried right up until the time I say the phrase "Alright ... when we last left our heroes .... " - and I've been playing D&D for a good long time.
Also - great news! - you have new Players, so you're all learning it together, and you can support each other doing it. So long as everyone goes in with reasonable expectations, is willing to cut everyone else slack as you learn the game, and you're all having fun - it's a solid win. Things will only get better from there.
But don't take my word for it - listen to this guy - and check out his YouTube playlist about learning to become a DM.
Best of Luck!
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
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Hey, Thanks for the replies!
i love Matt Coleville! I like in this video he starts off with telling you not to compare yourself to Mercer and Chris. I think that is where maybe a good portion of my anxiety comes from, due to the fact that the CR crew is what really got me back into the game after so many years of not playing. I keep having to remind myself that I am my own person I am not Matt, Mercer, or any of these guys I watch run the game. I still look up to them as role models on how I want to be as a DM but I keep having to remind myself that I have to find my own style that makes me comfortable and works for me and my players. I think I am getting there, it just feels like every time I sit behind the screen and get ready, I wanna reach for my anxiety meds to calm myself down! I really hope after a few sessions this starts to go away or at least become more manageable lol!
I actually have been trying to work my way through his videos for the last couple of weeks, I just keep getting distracted or bored, it might be part of my health issues, heh. But I am working on it, I'm trying to break it into small doses, like maybe a video or two per day, hopefully that will help! Thanks for the advice!
yeah i live with a level 10 meme lord of a room-mate. Thanks for the motivational help!
I've just done this so....
1. Start small. A one shot or short campaign with less scope for wild sand boxiness will help you feel in control and prepared.
2. Use your own material. If you "wrote" it, you know it. I tried to run my very first game using LMoP and it was a nightmare feeling like I'd forgotten something all the time. This campaign failed and when I tried again I followed my own advice.
3. Just do it. I have GAD too, the time I feel most anxious is before I start. 15 minutes in and I'm having so much fun that I've long forgotten my anxiety. This was exactly the same before I used to perform in a band too. seconds before the first song I'd be bricking it, then when I started singing I became a rockstar (In my mind at least lol)
Journeyman DM
Journeyman Adventurer
I, unfortunately, never suffered with DM jitters. I started out when I was young enough I didn't care about how things were going to go, and I have almost always played with people I was familiar with. With those two things, any fear of making a fool of myself, doing terrible, or anything else was never part of the formula. The flip side of it is I have helped many a person start their way down the DM path. I've seen every type of apprehension, anxiety, and fear that could manifest from someone taking up the mantle for the first time. The single most common thing that happens is that they eventually, all of them, gain the confidence to run the games without those issues overwhelming them.
First things first: No matter how much of a veteran, or newbie, you are to DMing you will, inevitably, make a mistake and you'll just have to roll with it. If a player corrects you, take their advice and readjust going forward. If a player is upset about a ruling, explain that you made a mistake and you'll correct it going forward. If you prefer the ruling that you made and no one is bothered by it, don't say anything. If you figure out that you made a mistake and it needs to be addressed, let your players know at the end of the game or beginning of the next session. All in all, just don't let it consume you, a human DM is much better than one who refuses to acknowledge their mistakes.
In that same vein, be familiar with your material. A common D&D truism is "All the plans of a DM go out the window the moment you introduce Players". DMing takes preparation, sometimes hours of preparation, and it's a necessary evil. The more you know about what the players may run into during their session, the more you'll be able to handle the situations that don't go as planned. You'll also be able to better handle the pace of the game, helping to keep things moving at a comfortable speed. You'll be able to give the information that the players need with a few glances at your material. It just helps keep things running smoother and takes a lot of stress off you during the game.
Improvisation is a necessary tool to have in your bag of tricks, don't be afraid to make things up on the fly if you're unsure. This is something that gets easier with practice and knowledge of the game. You'll run into questions that the players have which aren't covered in the modules or you weren't expecting. This is where understanding your material will allow you to come up with answers that fit with the situation. The players will invariably wander in directions that aren't covered by your material, by knowing your information you will be able to make something up. You'll be able to give them a little something for their efforts and then turn them back toward what they were supposed to do. The players are driving the game, you're giving them the paths they can take, and they will do things you won't expect. Just relax and roll with it, as long as you have a grasp of the material you'll be able to keep bringing them back to the story proper.
Consistency is also paramount in your games. When you make a ruling, when you explain that an effect does something, when you give an NPC a name, or you say something doesn't exist in your world, it's imperative you keep it the same at all times. Nothing frustrates players worse than learning the way the world works and three sessions later that foundation is stripped out because you changed your mind. It's even more frustrating when you change those things without ever explaining why. If you change something, address it before the game starts again, this way the players can adjust their expectations to fit. Taking notes is going to make this type of consistency easier, since you can remind yourself of the rulings you've made and why. This also helps keep the players immersed in your game since they know what to expect when they do decide to act.
Finally; this is a game, you're doing it because you want to have fun with a group of friends. Whether you're sitting down to play a card game, hopping on a console to play some first-person shooter, or stepping outside to play ball, you do it because it's fun. The same holds true for D&D, it's a social game, a way to enjoy yourself and company, and it is a choice you make. Go in with the mind frame of having fun, go in with the idea of hanging out, and just have a good night with your friends. As time goes on the tone of the games will change, many groups start off looking like Monty Python pretending to be Lord of the Rings. There's times everyone will go all murder-hobo on you and kill everything and anything that looks like it might, possibly, be a bad guy. Eventually it will transition into the groups that are enjoying a good story, tossing out memes, making in-jokes about previous games, and you'll be having a blast.
I would like to finish this off with a comment I saw recently: "No, you're not Matt Mercer, you're not Chris Perkins. You're not Mike Mearls, Satine Phoenix, Jeremy Crawford, or any other DM you measure yourself against. And you don't need to be. Because you're you, and you're perfect for your group and your table."
I wish you amazing adventures, great gaming, and many memorable moments. Welcome to DMing, may your journeys be long and delightful.
My approach is this...there is SO MUCH MATERIAL and rules to know that it's okay that you don't know all of it the first session or for that matter, the 40th. Expect your players to own the abilities and spells and skill, etc of THEIR characters. You shouldn't be the one to go looking up what Spell-X does when they say that they are going to cast Spell-X. Though you as the DM own the encounters and overarching story, I'm finding that the entire experience is a collaborative effort among everyone, and that's what makes the whole thing fun! Don't fret what you don't know. Mistakes will happen. You will forget things. Sometimes players will say, "but I have ability-X, would Y still happen..." and if you as a DM roll a 20 [this happened to me], you get to say, "yes, but the opponents rolled a 20 [and the whole table observed the roll, so it was not fudged]; ergo, their ability was so effective, you still did not Z..." As long as the group knows that you are new and trying, hopefully they'll be appreciative of the effort and experience. The best advice I've read...be consistent, but also adaptable/flexible as you learn.
Good luck sir!
Love the Sir Topham Hat avatar!
You've taken your first step into a larger world... and had some wonderful responses so far - and you're absolutely in the right place to pick up tips, tricks and advice. Ultimately, as with anything, being a good DM does take a little time and practice - and while that doesn't mean you can't be a great DM from session 1, it's definitely something that you grow more comfortable with as time goes on. To help make you feel a little more confident, here's a few tips I've picked up over the years, and some suggestions:
Be prepared. Now that doesn't mean memorise the DM Guide and Players Handbook, but it might be good to brush up on the major rules. Know how basic gameplay works, such as rolling initiative, calculating damage, making skill checks, stealth and surprise, and that sort of thing. Some have suggested using a premade campaign, others have suggested writing your own. In my experience, a simple premade campaign will help you and your players find your feet. I'd recommend the Starter Set - Lost Mines of Phandelver; it's catered to new players and DMs alike, and holds up as a great adventure in its own right. It'll introduce new aspects of the game as you go, so you won't be dropped in the deep end. It handles the world, so you can focus on running the game.
Set expectations - for yourself and your players. Everyone goes into D&D with different expectations. Some think they'll spend all night getting to act out their favourite characters, wooing the barmaid, schmoozing with the local nobles, or gambling in the tavern. Others expect to be plunged into an ancient dungeon, filled with monsters to fight, traps to overcome and treasure to find, and are happy to pass on that social interaction. Same goes for the DM - some want to get straight to the action, stringing one dungeon crawl with the next, with perhaps at most a night in town to sell off all that excess loot and pick up the next quest. Others want to tell an epic tale, filled with mystery, drama and intrigue. Most players and DMs want something in between. Getting together with your players, ideally in person, but in some sort of messaging group in a pinch, to chat about what your players are looking for - and the type of game your looking to run, is a good idea. This is a good idea to create characters too, so that the party is at least fairly compatible with the adventure.
Don't sweat the little stuff. It's easy to think that your players are scrutinising your every move and decision; but trust me, they're more concerned about their own character. They don't realise the little mistakes you made, the incorrect DC you assigned to a check, or the fact you subtracted 5hp from the wrong goblin during combat. If you need a minute, just be honest about it - if a player wants to do something out-of-the-box, but you need a minute to figure out how it'll work, just say 'Great idea, let's find out if that'll work! Give me a minute to think of the right skill check...' Your players really won't mind - and on that...
Run with it. You've got it all planned - they'll go into the cave, they'll fight the guards, then find the key in the lockbox guarded by two big dogs. Then they'll spend a good while trying to solve the puzzle behind the locked door that will lead them to a map with directions to the lair of the leader... but then John, playing the fighter, walks in, critical hits one guard, and knocks out the other, forcing him to lead the party to the lair of the leader and bypassing the entire dungeon. This is one of those classic 'best laid plans...' moments, that can - and I venture will - happen to you. No plan survives contact with the party, so learn to just run with it. Nothing is more frustrating to players than feeling like they're on rails. We play D&D for that freedom of being able to do creative things. I imagine it's this point that probably gives you the most anxiety - 'what if they do something I haven't planned for and don't know what to do next?' - Let the players guide you. Ask them what they want to do. Chances are, you'll be able to steer them back to content you do have planned, and they'll feel a lot more satisfied thinking they've gotten their on their own. In the above example (which was real), I had the guard lead them to the lair of the leader, but used the remainder of the previous cave. Remember: They don't know what you had planned.
Be firm but fair and let the game flow. You have a big job as a DM. Not only are you running the world, and all its denizens, you're also running the game and refereeing the rules. There'll come a point where you won't know the rule on something - and neither will a player. Rather than breaking the flow and cracking out the rule book, make a rule that makes sense, make a quick note of it, and then look it up later - out of session. Other times, players might try to challenge your ruling, even if it's correct. Such as wanting to use Acrobatics to leap across a chasm. You have to stand your ground, and don't let it derail your session. A good line to use is: 'I'm making this ruling, because I believe it to be correct. Let's chat about it later, and we can double check the rules.' If the player is absolutely correct, such as they know you've miscalculated, or have simply forgotten something, then of course, go with the obviously correct rule. You'll more than likely know you made a mistake when they correct you in this instance.
Have fun! Sounds obvious, but most of the others here have said the same - this is a game that you're meant to enjoy. I have no doubt that once you get into, you'll thoroughly enjoy weaving epic tales with your friends. Me and my buddies still talk about sessions from 20+ years ago. Your friends will come to learn and appreciate how much work DMing is, and you'll come to be really proud of the stories you write and the players that navigate them.
Xanax! Or booze. But don't mix the two!
No, but seriously... Nowadays I don't get very nervous except when things start to go horribly wrong. So unless that is happening, you have no reason to be nervous. I try to remind myself of that sometimes. By horribly wrong I mean people getting epileptic fits of unexplained rage, throwing fistfuls of dice, chewing up their character sheets while foaming at the mouth and suchlike.
My best advice is to avoid pre-conceived ideas of what you want the game to be like. If you try to be like another group you've seen on a stream or something you will always fail, because you are not that group. Same goes for trying to be like a celebrity DM. The magic starts to happen when you do your own thing. I don't DM exactly like those people you see on the popular streams -- there are slight similarities but we are playing the same game, after all.
This.
You are there to discover your fun, and your Players' fun - not try and replicate someone else's game.
So long as you and your Players are having fun - you're getting it right. We can always learn and improve - but fun is never a failure.
My DM Philosophy, as summed up by other people: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rN5w4-azTq3Kbn0Yvk9nfqQhwQ1R5by1/view
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Few random tips... works for me! Do this before I DM to get the blood moving!
#1 (From high school drama class :-) : few minutes before the game stand up and shake it out, jump up and down, wave your arms and hands, etc. Actors do it, professional athletes do it (watch the beginning of an NBA/NFL/NHL game!) It gets rid of some nervous energy and gets you breathing.
#2 Make a pregame DM playlist, whatever works for you. Think arena rock, soundtracks, etc. Try AC/DC Thunderstruck, O Fortuna from Carmina Burana, The Greatest Show, etc the list is endless! Best when combined with #1, but don't hurt yourself lol.
#3 I always allow time at beginning of session for everyone to talk about nerd stuff, movies etc then usually excuse myself to go to the washroom and when I come back it's go time. Maybe even stand in the mirror with hoodie up . . . my palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already wife's spaghetti haha!
#4 Breathe, and don't do 1-2 in front of your players, they'll think you've gone of the deep end...
Have fun, if you're not yer doing it wrong!
I recommend Tom T. Hall's suggestion:
"I like beer."
Personally, though, I'm a teetotaler. I'm just nuts.
Another point in common? Are you my clone?
Get comfortable.
You need to be comfortable in both position and location. If you're doing it at your own house you know the way around.
Doing it at a friend's house can be more uncomfortable. Expecially if you have to rule over him as a DM. So make sure
to get comfortable with your surroundings and the place you're in. Then find the best position in the room. Where do you
feel most relaxed and comfortable. Is it with a wall up against your back? Or with a view of the entire room and all doors?
Make sure that when you play you're not having tics because a plant is facing the wrong way that can have a larger impact
than you would think.
I hope that helps ^^
to be fair, I tend to drink beer when we play lol, it does help relax me.
Great! Welcome to the game and welcome to this side of the GM's screen!
My best advice to you is "just do it". Just get out there and run the game.
Sure, things are going to go wrong. You're going to make bad calls. The players will do stupid things. The dice will roll badly. It's OK. If it's a bad call, just say "OK, that was a bad call, I'm not doing that again but right now lets just continue playing." If it was a really bad call, say, "OK, that was a really bad call, lets wind back time and start that combat again."
There will be times where you stare at your notes, appalled at how far the players have gone off your prepared areas. Just say to the people at the table, "Well, you're a long way from my prepared notes, let's have a coffee while I work out what happens next."
Every single time this happens, you'll learn something. And the next time will be better. And the next time, better still. The only trick is not to quit after the first mistake.
Have fun.
There is some really great advice here. A lot of it I use when I DM.
Something I didn't see mentioned was HUMOR. There's nothing like a good laugh between players to break the tension and form a bond. Not long ago I started a campaign with new players and pretty early in the campaign someone rolled a nat 20 on intimidation and made the guy piss his pants. I know it's lowball humor but everyone got a kick out of it, had a chuckle and felt more comfortable.
That's what happens when you wear a helmet your whole life!
My house rules