I'm currently working on a homebrew sourcebook set in my world, Borrelia. This book will introduce the world, as well as contain a bunch of homebrew monsters, spells, subclasses, and magic items. It's a daunting project, and I'd like to see what others think of it so that I don't do a ton of work for nothing. What I'm including on this thread is a description of the world, a basic map of the world, and the current first page of the book. Any feedback or questions are much appreciated. I hope you enjoy!
A pale, dark haired, dark-eyed human walked through the door to the tavern, fine purple cloak flowing behind him, and a platinum circlet set with an emerald around his head. He had a regal face with a tired yet urgent look on it. Wrapped around him was a long black robe embroidered with elaborate patterns of golden thread. One of his hands gripped a long black wand, while the other was clenched in a tight fist, revealing a silver ring adorned with a shimmering amber gemstone. He seemed to be around twenty years of age, but his eyes contained great pain and suffering.
As he strode towards a nearby table, he offered a greeting to the bartender. "Good evening," he said in a majestic baritone, the words filling the room with ease. The mage then sat down in a chair at the empty table beside him. He threw a quick glance at the entryway, as if expecting to see someone enter, then bowed his head and stared at the silver ring on his left hand. Concern or sorrow touching his noble features, he muttered some phrase or incantation under his breath, then raised his head, staring into nothingness.
A tiefling, one of the tavern's regular customers, walked over to the newcomer, extending his hand in greeting. “Akanos Novak, but call me Kane.”
"Good to meet you, Kane." the stranger replied softly, almost whispering. "Tell me, have you ever done something that you regret? Something that you know you cannot fix, no matter how hard you try?"
Borrelia is a world full of pain and grief. At its height, unity existed between the humans, elves, and dwarves, and together they nurtured and protected the land. But then, one hundred years before the present day, a terrible tragedy struck, destroying what the allied races had worked so hard to build. Demons from two layers of the Abyss flooded into the world through a portal in the heart of the Forest of Mists. No one knew who had opened the portal, but they had far larger problems to face. Within a month, the dark power of the vicious fiends- including two demon lords- corrupted the Forest of Mists, changing it into the Forest of Shadows, a garden of madness and horror, where hunted twisted beasts that could slay a mortal with impunity.
The three allied races, along with many others, fought back for a time. But the demons could not die. Before long, the intelligent races realized that doom was inevitable. The dwarves and elves retreated, fleeing to their safe havens beneath leaf and stone. Only the humans continued to fight, just barely holding on against the sea of chaos that threatened to consume them. Many celestials and other creatures of good fought alongside the humans, but it was not enough. Death loomed on the horizon, stretching to cover all of humanity.
But while the mortals drew their dying breaths, the gods knew what had to be done. Together, they combined their powers and pushed the demons from Borrelia forever, sealing them in the endless depths of the Abyss. But even the gods had limits. After their task was done, they faded, their consciousness dwindling to nothingness. And so the world was irreparably changed, and the era of the world that came to be known as the Human Era ended, and an era of darkness began.
After the fall of the gods, only scattered pockets of civilization remained: the giant kingdom of Makimas in the northwest, the goblinoid and goliath empires in the Crags of Desolation, the human kingdom of Galoron, which had come under the rulership of four archmages, the Wild Tribes of orcs in the south, and finally, the elven haven of the Redbranch Woods. These nations were without allies and without gods. So, naturally, all went to war, save the elves of Redbranch Woods (or Neldunan, in their tongue).
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Also, you called the age the "Human Era", but that doesn't quite sit right with me... humans seem fairly inconsequential in it all. Maybe the Fore-times or the Era of Birth? Or even the Era of Freedom?
I feel you could expand on that intro to your setting a bit more - you could easily milk 15 pages of text and info from that all. But it's got lore as rich as Wildemount so far! Keep going and we'll see if the rest is similar quality.
I can give you an example of a re-write of the first and second non-story lore fragment...
The Pre-History of Borrelia
Borrelia is an ancient and sorrowful land, full of great beauty and hope, but also great sacrifice and despair. It has existed for time eternal, but only relatively recently bore witness to life the Gods bestowed upon the world. Great empires were forged and fell in the midst of the ages. At it's height, Borrelia existed in a state of union between the Human, Dwarf and Elf peoples who together nurtured and protected the otherwise hostile and strange world, bringing forth great and mystical magics and traditions.
Abyssal Incursion
One hundred or so years ago, at the height of Borrelia's grandeur, an eldritch portal of great size and immense power erupted from within the bowels of the Forest of Mists, enabling Demons and other nightmarish beings to flood in from two different layers of the Abyssal plane. No-one knows how the portal was opened, but what scholars and historians can all agree on was that the havoc caused by the escape of the Demons was horrendous, destroying all that the union of humans, elves and dwarves had built over the course of centuries in mere moments of cosmological time. The Forest of Mists, where the portal had been created, twisted into the eldritch horrorscape of the Forest of Shadows, a garden of madness and death where fiends preyed upon the strong and the courageous, as well as the weak and the foolish alike.
That's a suggestion. If you like it.
I do have a lot more lore, but I didn't want to include too much, because I was afraid it might bore people. I'm planning to make a whole chapter about lore. The first chapter is more of an introduction, with some basic information but not specific details. Thanks for the help, though! I'll try to post more info once or twice a week.
Also, you called the age the "Human Era", but that doesn't quite sit right with me... humans seem fairly inconsequential in it all. Maybe the Fore-times or the Era of Birth? Or even the Era of Freedom?
It's called the Human Era because that was the era when humans were the dominant culture in the world. There were two eras before it, the Dragon Age (which encompasses the war between the dragons and the giants), and the Age of Creation (everything from the creation of the world to the start of the war between the dragons and the giants). The current age (just after the Human Era) is called the Modern Age by common folk, and the Age of Darkness by nobles and scholars.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I feel you could expand on that intro to your setting a bit more - you could easily milk 15 pages of text and info from that all. But it's got lore as rich as Wildemount so far! Keep going and we'll see if the rest is similar quality.
I can give you an example of a re-write of the first and second non-story lore fragment...
The Pre-History of Borrelia
Borrelia is an ancient and sorrowful land, full of great beauty and hope, but also great sacrifice and despair. It has existed for time eternal, but only relatively recently bore witness to life the Gods bestowed upon the world. Great empires were forged and fell in the midst of the ages. At it's height, Borrelia existed in a state of union between the Human, Dwarf and Elf peoples who together nurtured and protected the otherwise hostile and strange world, bringing forth great and mystical magics and traditions.
Abyssal Incursion
One hundred or so years ago, at the height of Borrelia's grandeur, an eldritch portal of great size and immense power erupted from within the bowels of the Forest of Mists, enabling Demons and other nightmarish beings to flood in from two different layers of the Abyssal plane. No-one knows how the portal was opened, but what scholars and historians can all agree on was that the havoc caused by the escape of the Demons was horrendous, destroying all that the union of humans, elves and dwarves had built over the course of centuries in mere moments of cosmological time. The Forest of Mists, where the portal had been created, twisted into the eldritch horrorscape of the Forest of Shadows, a garden of madness and death where fiends preyed upon the strong and the courageous, as well as the weak and the foolish alike.
That's a suggestion. If you like it.
I do have a lot more lore, but I didn't want to include too much, because I was afraid it might bore people. I'm planning to make a whole chapter about lore. The first chapter is more of an introduction, with some basic information but not specific details. Thanks for the help, though! I'll try to post more info once or twice a week.
Also, you called the age the "Human Era", but that doesn't quite sit right with me... humans seem fairly inconsequential in it all. Maybe the Fore-times or the Era of Birth? Or even the Era of Freedom?
It's called the Human Era because that was the era when humans were the dominant culture in the world. There were two eras before it, the Dragon Age (which encompasses the war between the dragons and the giants), and the Age of Creation (everything from the creation of the world to the start of the war between the dragons and the giants). The current age (just after the Human Era) is called the Modern Age by common folk, and the Age of Darkness by nobles and scholars.
Fair enough, but it sounds like it's a large alliance and calling it the human age is almost cliche as well... One last suggestion -the age of Alliance? But, yes, I can't wait to see more of your Campaign Setting! I am sure it will be quite fascinating.
Maybe the Alliance Age? I'll figure it out tomorrow, after I've gotten some rest. And thanks for the encouragement!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
My current subclasses (I'm going to make a lot more):
Circle of Devastation Druid (Done) Deathseeker Ranger (Needs some finishing touches) Demonic Descent Sorcerer (WIP) Soul Born Sorcerer (Pretty much done) Warlock of the Fallen (Done) Fighter Warleader (Mostly done)
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Your suggestions are good though, and I'll most likely use them.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Maybe make the Galoron Battlemage a subclass and make a variant soldier called Galoron Soldier? How would you make a spell-casting background?
If you ignore my suggestions, that's fine.
Some backgrounds, like those from Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica (if you have it) give you some cantrips and a first level spell.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
When I thought Battlemage, I thought at least 2 level spells.
Maybe I'll make it Galoron Soldier instead, then allow additional spells for spellcasters. As I said, it's only a concept right now, so it can be changed.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I love the subclass and background ideas... I'm curious to see races and experiment with the rest of your setting mechanics. You've really got something going!
The Warleader fighter is pretty much complete. You can find the latest drafts on D&DBeyond using the subclasses link in my signature.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
I'm currently working on a homebrew sourcebook set in my world, Borrelia. This book will introduce the world, as well as contain a bunch of homebrew monsters, spells, subclasses, and magic items. It's a daunting project, and I'd like to see what others think of it so that I don't do a ton of work for nothing. What I'm including on this thread is a description of the world, a basic map of the world, and the current first page of the book. Any feedback or questions are much appreciated. I hope you enjoy!
As he strode towards a nearby table, he offered a greeting to the bartender. "Good evening," he said in a majestic baritone, the words filling the room with ease. The mage then sat down in a chair at the empty table beside him. He threw a quick glance at the entryway, as if expecting to see someone enter, then bowed his head and stared at the silver ring on his left hand. Concern or sorrow touching his noble features, he muttered some phrase or incantation under his breath, then raised his head, staring into nothingness.
A tiefling, one of the tavern's regular customers, walked over to the newcomer, extending his hand in greeting. “Akanos Novak, but call me Kane.”
"Good to meet you, Kane." the stranger replied softly, almost whispering. "Tell me, have you ever done something that you regret? Something that you know you cannot fix, no matter how hard you try?"
Borrelia is a world full of pain and grief. At its height, unity existed between the humans, elves, and dwarves, and together they nurtured and protected the land. But then, one hundred years before the present day, a terrible tragedy struck, destroying what the allied races had worked so hard to build. Demons from two layers of the Abyss flooded into the world through a portal in the heart of the Forest of Mists. No one knew who had opened the portal, but they had far larger problems to face. Within a month, the dark power of the vicious fiends- including two demon lords- corrupted the Forest of Mists, changing it into the Forest of Shadows, a garden of madness and horror, where hunted twisted beasts that could slay a mortal with impunity.
The three allied races, along with many others, fought back for a time. But the demons could not die. Before long, the intelligent races realized that doom was inevitable. The dwarves and elves retreated, fleeing to their safe havens beneath leaf and stone. Only the humans continued to fight, just barely holding on against the sea of chaos that threatened to consume them. Many celestials and other creatures of good fought alongside the humans, but it was not enough. Death loomed on the horizon, stretching to cover all of humanity.
But while the mortals drew their dying breaths, the gods knew what had to be done. Together, they combined their powers and pushed the demons from Borrelia forever, sealing them in the endless depths of the Abyss. But even the gods had limits. After their task was done, they faded, their consciousness dwindling to nothingness. And so the world was irreparably changed, and the era of the world that came to be known as the Human Era ended, and an era of darkness began.
After the fall of the gods, only scattered pockets of civilization remained: the giant kingdom of Makimas in the northwest, the goblinoid and goliath empires in the Crags of Desolation, the human kingdom of Galoron, which had come under the rulership of four archmages, the Wild Tribes of orcs in the south, and finally, the elven haven of the Redbranch Woods. These nations were without allies and without gods. So, naturally, all went to war, save the elves of Redbranch Woods (or Neldunan, in their tongue).
FIRST PAGE PREVIEW
Bonus: Calendar of Borrelia
Borrelia Months
Bonus: Languages of Borrelia
Standard Languages of Borrelia
Exotic Languages of Borrelia
Here's a link to the homebrew feedback thread.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Also, you called the age the "Human Era", but that doesn't quite sit right with me... humans seem fairly inconsequential in it all. Maybe the Fore-times or the Era of Birth? Or even the Era of Freedom?
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
I do have a lot more lore, but I didn't want to include too much, because I was afraid it might bore people. I'm planning to make a whole chapter about lore. The first chapter is more of an introduction, with some basic information but not specific details. Thanks for the help, though! I'll try to post more info once or twice a week.
It's called the Human Era because that was the era when humans were the dominant culture in the world. There were two eras before it, the Dragon Age (which encompasses the war between the dragons and the giants), and the Age of Creation (everything from the creation of the world to the start of the war between the dragons and the giants). The current age (just after the Human Era) is called the Modern Age by common folk, and the Age of Darkness by nobles and scholars.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Maybe the Alliance Age? I'll figure it out tomorrow, after I've gotten some rest. And thanks for the encouragement!
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
This is awesome!
Join the Oboe Orchestra!
Semicolons are the most addictive punctuation mark there is; and also one of the most helpful.
If you like grammar, go to the Cult of Grammar, for grammatical sticklers. And my grammar may not be perfect, okay, but SHHHHHHH!!!
The HLE; my homebrew monster/character.
Thanks so much!
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Maybe make a background like Sorcerer Kings' Agent? And allow them a cantrip or two? What are your background/class options currently?
Join the Oboe Orchestra!
Semicolons are the most addictive punctuation mark there is; and also one of the most helpful.
If you like grammar, go to the Cult of Grammar, for grammatical sticklers. And my grammar may not be perfect, okay, but SHHHHHHH!!!
The HLE; my homebrew monster/character.
And definitely (if you don't have it) New Dawn Scout.
Join the Oboe Orchestra!
Semicolons are the most addictive punctuation mark there is; and also one of the most helpful.
If you like grammar, go to the Cult of Grammar, for grammatical sticklers. And my grammar may not be perfect, okay, but SHHHHHHH!!!
The HLE; my homebrew monster/character.
My current subclasses (I'm going to make a lot more):
Circle of Devastation Druid (Done)
Deathseeker Ranger (Needs some finishing touches)
Demonic Descent Sorcerer (WIP)
Soul Born Sorcerer (Pretty much done)
Warlock of the Fallen (Done)
Fighter Warleader (Mostly done)
Backgrounds:
Exile (concept only)
Traveler (concept only)
Galoron Battlemage (concept only)
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Your suggestions are good though, and I'll most likely use them.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Maybe make the Galoron Battlemage a subclass and make a variant soldier called Galoron Soldier? How would you make a spell-casting background?
If you ignore my suggestions, that's fine.
Join the Oboe Orchestra!
Semicolons are the most addictive punctuation mark there is; and also one of the most helpful.
If you like grammar, go to the Cult of Grammar, for grammatical sticklers. And my grammar may not be perfect, okay, but SHHHHHHH!!!
The HLE; my homebrew monster/character.
Some backgrounds, like those from Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica (if you have it) give you some cantrips and a first level spell.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Good point. I don't have it, but I've read it.
Join the Oboe Orchestra!
Semicolons are the most addictive punctuation mark there is; and also one of the most helpful.
If you like grammar, go to the Cult of Grammar, for grammatical sticklers. And my grammar may not be perfect, okay, but SHHHHHHH!!!
The HLE; my homebrew monster/character.
When I thought Battlemage, I thought at least 2 level spells.
Join the Oboe Orchestra!
Semicolons are the most addictive punctuation mark there is; and also one of the most helpful.
If you like grammar, go to the Cult of Grammar, for grammatical sticklers. And my grammar may not be perfect, okay, but SHHHHHHH!!!
The HLE; my homebrew monster/character.
Maybe I'll make it Galoron Soldier instead, then allow additional spells for spellcasters. As I said, it's only a concept right now, so it can be changed.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I really like it!
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
Thank you!
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I love the subclass and background ideas... I'm curious to see races and experiment with the rest of your setting mechanics. You've really got something going!
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
The Warleader fighter is pretty much complete. You can find the latest drafts on D&DBeyond using the subclasses link in my signature.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
The link to the first page has also been added in the spoilers.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.