The name might distract from the coolness of the world, maybe change it or turn a few letters around?
I had no idea what that disease was, and I'm sure not many others do or care. The name is fine, and he's put so much work into it changing it now would be a hassle.
By the way, awesome thread this world is amazing and the lore is awesome.
The name might distract from the coolness of the world, maybe change it or turn a few letters around?
I had no idea what that disease was, and I'm sure not many others do or care. The name is fine, and he's put so much work into it changing it now would be a hassle.
By the way, awesome thread this world is amazing and the lore is awesome.
Thank you so much! And yeah, neither did I.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew:Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Hey TTB, when is this book gonna be released? (this is awesome, btw.)
No idea, but I'm hoping to finish it before next spring. Hopefully a lot sooner.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew:Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Hey TTB, when is this book gonna be released? (this is awesome, btw.)
No idea, but I'm hoping to finish it before next spring. Hopefully a lot sooner.
How will you publish your setting? I was wondering if you'd just go plain old DriveThru, or if you'd try and get a solid book out of it through some bigger publisher.
Hey TTB, when is this book gonna be released? (this is awesome, btw.)
No idea, but I'm hoping to finish it before next spring. Hopefully a lot sooner.
How will you publish your setting? I was wondering if you'd just go plain old DriveThru, or if you'd try and get a solid book out of it through some bigger publisher.
I'm still unsure, but I'm going to try to figure something out.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew:Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Not too bad! I'm starting on Thri-kreen, and I've gotten almost all of the mechanical stuff finished.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew:Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
You’ve put in a good deal of work, that’s fantastic. My career has been in design for plan sets, all aspects of them, from lists to drawings, and so as I looked at your first page I noticed a few things.
1. Your paragraph indents aren’t consistent. This is a formatting issue and fairly easily solved.
2. Your first sentence is a run-on sentence, which can work in fantasy but you’ll need to get a tad more consistent with your capitalization, tenses, and prose choices.
A band of New Dawn (S)couts slip(s) between… for an Encampment of Galoran Soldiers (we don’t need the geography lesson yet, exposition is the death of urgency.)
Should the Soldiers discover the Scouts Base, it could mean the end of all resistance against the cruel Sorcerer-Kings…
I hope you see what I mean, which to belabor that point, is show the conflict first, then give the exposition in the proper place. A sentence with over 35 words is usually a run on sentence, or if it joins two independent clauses.
As a reader, when I see mistakes in prose, it’s jarring, and if I see it in a DnD book, I don’t buy the book. That’s just me.
You’ve put in a good deal of work, that’s fantastic. My career has been in design for plan sets, all aspects of them, from lists to drawings, and so as I looked at your first page I noticed a few things.
1. Your paragraph indents aren’t consistent. This is a formatting issue and fairly easily solved.
2. Your first sentence is a run-on sentence, which can work in fantasy but you’ll need to get a tad more consistent with your capitalization, tenses, and prose choices.
A band of New Dawn (S)couts slip(s) between… for an Encampment of Galoran Soldiers (we don’t need the geography lesson yet, exposition is the death of urgency.)
Should the Soldiers discover the Scouts Base, it could mean the end of all resistance against the cruel Sorcerer-Kings…
I hope you see what I mean, which to belabor that point, is show the conflict first, then give the exposition in the proper place. A sentence with over 35 words is usually a run on sentence, or if it joins two independent clauses.
As a reader, when I see mistakes in prose, it’s jarring, and if I see it in a DnD book, I don’t buy the book. That’s just me.
Borrelia, as in the disease you get from ticks?
The name might distract from the coolness of the world, maybe change it or turn a few letters around?
I had no idea what that disease was, and I'm sure not many others do or care. The name is fine, and he's put so much work into it changing it now would be a hassle.
By the way, awesome thread this world is amazing and the lore is awesome.
Thank you so much! And yeah, neither did I.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew: Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Hey TTB, when is this book gonna be released? (this is awesome, btw.)
I'm the Valar (leader and creator) of The Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit/Anything Tolkien Cult!
Member of the Cult of Cats, High Elf of the Elven Guild, and Sauce Priest & Sauce Smith of the Supreme Court of Sauce.
If you want some casual roleplay/adventures in Middle Earth, check out The Wild's Edge Tavern, a LotR/Middle Earth tavern!
JOIN TIAMAT'S CONGA LINE!
Extended Sig
No idea, but I'm hoping to finish it before next spring. Hopefully a lot sooner.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew: Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
How will you publish your setting? I was wondering if you'd just go plain old DriveThru, or if you'd try and get a solid book out of it through some bigger publisher.
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
I'm still unsure, but I'm going to try to figure something out.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew: Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
How's this going?
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
Not too bad! I'm starting on Thri-kreen, and I've gotten almost all of the mechanical stuff finished.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew: Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
You’ve put in a good deal of work, that’s fantastic. My career has been in design for plan sets, all aspects of them, from lists to drawings, and so as I looked at your first page I noticed a few things.
1. Your paragraph indents aren’t consistent. This is a formatting issue and fairly easily solved.
2. Your first sentence is a run-on sentence, which can work in fantasy but you’ll need to get a tad more consistent with your capitalization, tenses, and prose choices.
A band of New Dawn (S)couts slip(s) between… for an Encampment of Galoran Soldiers (we don’t need the geography lesson yet, exposition is the death of urgency.)
Should the Soldiers discover the Scouts Base, it could mean the end of all resistance against the cruel Sorcerer-Kings…
I hope you see what I mean, which to belabor that point, is show the conflict first, then give the exposition in the proper place. A sentence with over 35 words is usually a run on sentence, or if it joins two independent clauses.
As a reader, when I see mistakes in prose, it’s jarring, and if I see it in a DnD book, I don’t buy the book. That’s just me.
Anyways, good luck with your setting.
That is well thought out! Good advice!
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!