Kessintra grabs her small crate of raw meat and follows Ada outside. "Careful, it seemed to be in a bad mood last night...Oh, as a paladin of the Morninglord, what do you think of the inscription on the doorframe?" (See Kess spoiler above)
Razz flits toward the door, watching as Ada and Kess step outside with the raw meat. He holds up a finger, wings flicking as he calls after them.
"Alright, give me a minute—I’ll start the ritual for Speak with Animals. But just so we’re all crystal clear on the arrangement here… I am not part of this meal deal."
He hovers for a moment, crossing his arms.
"I don’t care how hungry that tiger looks—I refuse to be a ‘snack-sized friend,’ ok?"
He gives an exaggerated glance down at himself, then at the very large tiger, and takes a small but very intentional step behind Ada. His wings twitch as he smirks.
"Just, you know, statistically speaking, I am the least threatening-looking one here."
Kess glances around at the others thoughtfully. "Hm...I suppose that's true, though your hair is dangerously sharp." Once Razz finishes casting his ritual, she plays a few notes of encouragement on her lyre, then switches to a calming melody to help his attempt at animal handling by soothing the beast.
Bardic Inspiration on Razz: +1d6 to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw in the next 10 minutes.
As Razz prepares to cast speak with animals, Chipper replies to the fairy's query about mage armor. "There's various theories." he says with delight, "Being an abjuration spell, the most common belief is that it draws upon the magic of The Weave to 'thicken' the air around the caster if you will, allowing both for a bit easier dodging of blows and lessening the power of blows that might otherwise hit. Others, such as a former colleague of mine, have speculated that this comes about via a congregation of thaums, a speculative magical particle, forming such a blockage. Still others believe it rather imbues the skin, much as the draconic ancestry of some sorcerers, with extra oomph of protection. Though I've never noticed any scaly formations myself." he smiles with a chuckle before adding one last theory, "Of course some speculate that mage armor isn't an abjuration spell at all! Rather they argue it's an enchantment spell that offers protection not by bolstering the caster, but by muddying the mind of his attacker! Such thoughts are of course disproven by detect magic, even if they propose a cosmic Nystul's Magic Aura, but even then its efficacy against otherwise enchantment-immune creatures refutes the idea unless they descend down a silly line of thinking involving gods' involvement over a mere 1st level spell."
"As for the secrets within my spellbook, unfortunately not many more than I can prepare right now. Though hopefully our visit to the wizard's tower will rectify that."
With the tiger he says, "If we're worried about its appetite, I could cast an unseen servant with which to feed it. Gives us a bit of distance and doesn't matter too much if it bites the servant."
Razz tilts his head as Chipper launches into a full-blown arcane lecture, wings flicking idly as he listens. He nods along, clearly intrigued—until the theories start getting extra deep.
"Huh. So it’s either thickened air, magic particles, dragon skin, or some kind of mind trickery—good to know that even wizards don’t always agree on how their spells work. I appreciate the enthusiasm, though! Maybe I’ll just go with the ‘extra oomph’ theory for now—seems the simplest."
His gaze drifts back toward the tiger, eyes narrowing slightly as he takes in the fitted plate armor.
"…Huh. That’s a lot of metal. Well, I did just cast Speak with Animals, but suddenly I feel like also keeping a little extra space between me and our armored friend isn’t the worst idea."
He gestures toward Chipper.
"Yeah, let’s go with the Unseen Servant plan—because if that tiger does decide it’s still hungry after the wolf steaks, I’d really prefer it take a bite out of an invisible helper instead of one of us."
He glances at Ada and Kess, pausing just long enough to let the moment hang.
"Of course, if someone wants to hand-feed a very well-equipped predator, far be it from me to stop them. Especially since some people here are big fans of big cats. Kitty devotion and all that."
His wings flick with amusement as he waits for a response, then stretches his arms.
"I’m going to check on Garrick after this — unless, of course, he comes to check on us first. I mean, we are the ones messing with a man-eater. Possibly."
Standing up after casting his ritual to ensure the meat hasn't spoiled,
"No need my fluttery friend, I am here. Just finished preparing the tiger's meal. It would be just our luck to get a tiger into the battle only for it to throw up from spoiled meat."
Thinking about it some...
"I could also have Striker present the food to the tiger, but he may just frighten it which would be counterproductive. Why don't you try talking to the tiger through the door first. Perhaps he will be more sociable than you think."
Razz flits around midair as Garrick arrives, offering a lazy salute with two fingers.
"Ah, excellent, the responsible adult has arrived. You know, making sure the food won’t poison the battle tiger is a nice touch—I was just going to assume it was fine and hope for the best. So, good thinking there."
He glances toward the door, wings flicking.
"Alright, so, let’s see… door first, tiger second. Makes sense. Less chance of immediate regret."
He hovers slightly, smirking.
"And hey, maybe you’re right—maybe it’ll turn out this tiger is just an oversized housecat that wants ear scritches and an existential discussion on the virtues of free food. Or maybe it takes one look at me and decides buffet option is back on the table. Either way, should be interesting."
He rolls his shoulders, stretching his hands before starting the ritual.
"Alright, let’s see what kind of mood our well-dressed murder machine is in today."
As the ritual finishes, Razz clears his throat and addresses the tiger in a smooth, diplomatic tone.
"Greetings, mighty and well-armored feline! I am Razz, translator of important affairs, facilitator of fine meals, and—most importantly—not a suitable snack."
He pauses, wings fluttering slightly.
"What may we call you? And would you be amenable to us providing you with some delightfully fresh raw meat for breakfast? Also, just so we’re crystal clear—I would personally prefer to stay off the menu. I’m mostly skin, bones, and wings. Stringy. Not worth the effort."
Razz blinks at the tiger’s response, momentarily thrown by the sheer directness. His wings flick as he processes it before glancing back at the group.
"Well. That was… refreshingly straightforward."
He clears his throat, giving the tiger a quick look before addressing the others.
"In summary—our well-armored friend here is very, very interested in breakfast and is fully on board with the whole ‘killing Vistani’ plan. So, you know, great motivation, minimal small talk."
He turns back to the tiger, tapping his chin thoughtfully.
"Alright, fierce hunter, before we toss you a feast, got a name we should call you? Or are we just sticking with ‘big scary tiger in plate armor’?"
He pauses, then suddenly snaps his fingers, eyes lighting up.
"How about ‘Viktor’?"
He grins, gesturing animatedly.
"You know—Vistani-Killing Tiger of Reckoning. V.K.T.O.R. …Viktor! Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?"
Razz eyes the tiger, then the raw meat, then back to the tiger. He exhales slowly, rolling his shoulders as if mentally preparing himself.
"Alright, Viktor, buddy—let’s establish some trust here. I’m going to offer you this perfectly good, not-at-all-fairy-flavored meal, and in return, you’re not going to test if I’m an acceptable substitute. Sound fair?"
He carefully holds out a piece of meat, his wings already twitching in anticipation of a very fast retreat if necessary.
"Kess also has some follow-up questions for you—namely, will you only attack Vistani and other things when we ask? And, slightly unrelated but still very important, are you cool with letting Ada take you for a ride?"
His wings flick anxiously as he watches the tiger’s reaction, meat still held out at a very respectable arm’s length.
The tiger lunges at Razz, rips the meat out of his hand, and swallows it, leaving Razz unharmed. "I get food when I kill the Vistani. Always vistani, only vistani. I won't harm anything else. Your companion may ride me, so long as they don't impede my vistani killing."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I exist sometimes, especially when I'm DMing Curse of Strahd.
Razz doesn’t move for a solid two seconds after the tiger lunges, wings locked in place as he stares at the now very empty space where the meat used to be. Slowly, he exhales, blinking.
"Right. Well. That was an experience."
He pats himself down, glancing downward with exaggerated concern.
"Gonna take a quick second to check if I need to Prestidigitate my pants—because that? That was definitely a moment."
He shakes his head, finally turning back to the group.
"So, good news! Viktor is very committed to the whole ‘only kills Vistani’ thing. No unfortunate surprise maulings for anyone else. And Ada? You’ve got the green light to take him for a ride—so long as you don’t get in the way of his whole vengeance-fueled murder mission."
He flits back slightly, wings flicking.
"All in all? I’d call that a productive negotiation."
Kess approaches the wagon to stand next to Razz. "As productive as we could hope for. I noticed Rictavio seemed to dislike Vistani, but this feels like an old war grudge...I wonder if all of the Dusk Elves feel the same...We'll just have to keep him away from any Vistani we don't want killed." She pauses to cast message on Razz. 'Like this Ezmerelda we've heard about. She's supposed to become our ally, according to prophecy anyway.' "Anything else before I try getting the door open?"
Razz listens, wings flicking as Kess brings up Rictavio’s grudge. His expression shifts slightly at the mention of the Dusk Elves, but before he can respond, Kess’s voice nudges into his mind.
His wings twitch as he processes the thought. He glances at Viktor, then back to Kess, nodding subtly.
"Yeah, ‘productive’ is a good word for it. Though now I feel like we’ve got a very large, very well-armored responsibility on our hands. Keeping him from going after Vistani we don’t want dead is gonna be a bit of a balancing act."
He tilts his head, considering. He whispers back to Kess, "Ezmerelda, though? Right. Definitely going to need to make sure she doesn’t end up on Viktor’s personal to-do list."
Razz flits slightly upward, stretching his arms before waving toward the door.
"Nah, I think we’re good. Go ahead and work your magic—let’s see what’s behind door number one."
In the morning, Ada is overjoyed to learn of the arrival of the tiger.
"Well? Who wants to go meet the tiger?" she says, grinning like a little kid.
She walks outside and over to the wagon to get a better glimpse inside.
Extended Signature
Characters: Bryony Alderleaf - Lvl. 4 Halfling Rogue (The Shattered Obelisk) ♦ Vesta Trevelyan - Lvl. 10 Half-Elf Sorcerer (Eve of Ruin) ♦ Ada Kendrick - Lvl. 4 Aasimar Paladin (Curse of Strahd) ♦ Selene Albion - Lvl. 12 Human Ranger (In-Person Homebrew Campaign) ♦ Phaerdra Tor'viir - Lvl. 3 Drow Wizard (Exandria Sandbox Campaign)
Kessintra grabs her small crate of raw meat and follows Ada outside. "Careful, it seemed to be in a bad mood last night...Oh, as a paladin of the Morninglord, what do you think of the inscription on the doorframe?" (See Kess spoiler above)
Garrick will ritual cast purify food and drink on the raw meat so the tiger doesn’t accidentally get sick.
Razz flits toward the door, watching as Ada and Kess step outside with the raw meat. He holds up a finger, wings flicking as he calls after them.
"Alright, give me a minute—I’ll start the ritual for Speak with Animals. But just so we’re all crystal clear on the arrangement here… I am not part of this meal deal."
He hovers for a moment, crossing his arms.
"I don’t care how hungry that tiger looks—I refuse to be a ‘snack-sized friend,’ ok?"
He gives an exaggerated glance down at himself, then at the very large tiger, and takes a small but very intentional step behind Ada. His wings twitch as he smirks.
"Just, you know, statistically speaking, I am the least threatening-looking one here."
Kess glances around at the others thoughtfully. "Hm...I suppose that's true, though your hair is dangerously sharp." Once Razz finishes casting his ritual, she plays a few notes of encouragement on her lyre, then switches to a calming melody to help his attempt at animal handling by soothing the beast.
Bardic Inspiration on Razz: +1d6 to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw in the next 10 minutes.
As you peer into the wagon, you notice that the tiger is also fitted in specially made half-plate armor. He seems a bit grumpy.
I exist sometimes, especially when I'm DMing Curse of Strahd.
As Razz prepares to cast speak with animals, Chipper replies to the fairy's query about mage armor. "There's various theories." he says with delight, "Being an abjuration spell, the most common belief is that it draws upon the magic of The Weave to 'thicken' the air around the caster if you will, allowing both for a bit easier dodging of blows and lessening the power of blows that might otherwise hit. Others, such as a former colleague of mine, have speculated that this comes about via a congregation of thaums, a speculative magical particle, forming such a blockage. Still others believe it rather imbues the skin, much as the draconic ancestry of some sorcerers, with extra oomph of protection. Though I've never noticed any scaly formations myself." he smiles with a chuckle before adding one last theory, "Of course some speculate that mage armor isn't an abjuration spell at all! Rather they argue it's an enchantment spell that offers protection not by bolstering the caster, but by muddying the mind of his attacker! Such thoughts are of course disproven by detect magic, even if they propose a cosmic Nystul's Magic Aura, but even then its efficacy against otherwise enchantment-immune creatures refutes the idea unless they descend down a silly line of thinking involving gods' involvement over a mere 1st level spell."
"As for the secrets within my spellbook, unfortunately not many more than I can prepare right now. Though hopefully our visit to the wizard's tower will rectify that."
With the tiger he says, "If we're worried about its appetite, I could cast an unseen servant with which to feed it. Gives us a bit of distance and doesn't matter too much if it bites the servant."
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 3/23/25, Birth of an Age
Razz tilts his head as Chipper launches into a full-blown arcane lecture, wings flicking idly as he listens. He nods along, clearly intrigued—until the theories start getting extra deep.
"Huh. So it’s either thickened air, magic particles, dragon skin, or some kind of mind trickery—good to know that even wizards don’t always agree on how their spells work. I appreciate the enthusiasm, though! Maybe I’ll just go with the ‘extra oomph’ theory for now—seems the simplest."
His gaze drifts back toward the tiger, eyes narrowing slightly as he takes in the fitted plate armor.
"…Huh. That’s a lot of metal. Well, I did just cast Speak with Animals, but suddenly I feel like also keeping a little extra space between me and our armored friend isn’t the worst idea."
He gestures toward Chipper.
"Yeah, let’s go with the Unseen Servant plan—because if that tiger does decide it’s still hungry after the wolf steaks, I’d really prefer it take a bite out of an invisible helper instead of one of us."
He glances at Ada and Kess, pausing just long enough to let the moment hang.
"Of course, if someone wants to hand-feed a very well-equipped predator, far be it from me to stop them. Especially since some people here are big fans of big cats. Kitty devotion and all that."
His wings flick with amusement as he waits for a response, then stretches his arms.
"I’m going to check on Garrick after this — unless, of course, he comes to check on us first. I mean, we are the ones messing with a man-eater. Possibly."
Standing up after casting his ritual to ensure the meat hasn't spoiled,
"No need my fluttery friend, I am here. Just finished preparing the tiger's meal. It would be just our luck to get a tiger into the battle only for it to throw up from spoiled meat."
Thinking about it some...
"I could also have Striker present the food to the tiger, but he may just frighten it which would be counterproductive. Why don't you try talking to the tiger through the door first. Perhaps he will be more sociable than you think."
Razz flits around midair as Garrick arrives, offering a lazy salute with two fingers.
"Ah, excellent, the responsible adult has arrived. You know, making sure the food won’t poison the battle tiger is a nice touch—I was just going to assume it was fine and hope for the best. So, good thinking there."
He glances toward the door, wings flicking.
"Alright, so, let’s see… door first, tiger second. Makes sense. Less chance of immediate regret."
He hovers slightly, smirking.
"And hey, maybe you’re right—maybe it’ll turn out this tiger is just an oversized housecat that wants ear scritches and an existential discussion on the virtues of free food. Or maybe it takes one look at me and decides buffet option is back on the table. Either way, should be interesting."
He rolls his shoulders, stretching his hands before starting the ritual.
"Alright, let’s see what kind of mood our well-dressed murder machine is in today."
As the ritual finishes, Razz clears his throat and addresses the tiger in a smooth, diplomatic tone.
"Greetings, mighty and well-armored feline! I am Razz, translator of important affairs, facilitator of fine meals, and—most importantly—not a suitable snack."
He pauses, wings fluttering slightly.
"What may we call you? And would you be amenable to us providing you with some delightfully fresh raw meat for breakfast? Also, just so we’re crystal clear—I would personally prefer to stay off the menu. I’m mostly skin, bones, and wings. Stringy. Not worth the effort."
The tiger hungrily growls back, "Food? Food! Please, give me the food. I will kill vistani, just give me food."
I exist sometimes, especially when I'm DMing Curse of Strahd.
Razz blinks at the tiger’s response, momentarily thrown by the sheer directness. His wings flick as he processes it before glancing back at the group.
"Well. That was… refreshingly straightforward."
He clears his throat, giving the tiger a quick look before addressing the others.
"In summary—our well-armored friend here is very, very interested in breakfast and is fully on board with the whole ‘killing Vistani’ plan. So, you know, great motivation, minimal small talk."
He turns back to the tiger, tapping his chin thoughtfully.
"Alright, fierce hunter, before we toss you a feast, got a name we should call you? Or are we just sticking with ‘big scary tiger in plate armor’?"
He pauses, then suddenly snaps his fingers, eyes lighting up.
"How about ‘Viktor’?"
He grins, gesturing animatedly.
"You know—Vistani-Killing Tiger of Reckoning. V.K.T.O.R. …Viktor! Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?"
"Can you ask Viktor to only kill Vistani, and other things, when we tell him too? Oh, and if he'll let Ada ride him."
Razz eyes the tiger, then the raw meat, then back to the tiger. He exhales slowly, rolling his shoulders as if mentally preparing himself.
"Alright, Viktor, buddy—let’s establish some trust here. I’m going to offer you this perfectly good, not-at-all-fairy-flavored meal, and in return, you’re not going to test if I’m an acceptable substitute. Sound fair?"
He carefully holds out a piece of meat, his wings already twitching in anticipation of a very fast retreat if necessary.
"Kess also has some follow-up questions for you—namely, will you only attack Vistani and other things when we ask? And, slightly unrelated but still very important, are you cool with letting Ada take you for a ride?"
His wings flick anxiously as he watches the tiger’s reaction, meat still held out at a very respectable arm’s length.
Chipper watches the encounter with amusement. "Also make sure he won't pounce at Skipper or Hooty I suppose."
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 3/23/25, Birth of an Age
The tiger lunges at Razz, rips the meat out of his hand, and swallows it, leaving Razz unharmed. "I get food when I kill the Vistani. Always vistani, only vistani. I won't harm anything else. Your companion may ride me, so long as they don't impede my vistani killing."
I exist sometimes, especially when I'm DMing Curse of Strahd.
Razz doesn’t move for a solid two seconds after the tiger lunges, wings locked in place as he stares at the now very empty space where the meat used to be. Slowly, he exhales, blinking.
"Right. Well. That was an experience."
He pats himself down, glancing downward with exaggerated concern.
"Gonna take a quick second to check if I need to Prestidigitate my pants—because that? That was definitely a moment."
He shakes his head, finally turning back to the group.
"So, good news! Viktor is very committed to the whole ‘only kills Vistani’ thing. No unfortunate surprise maulings for anyone else. And Ada? You’ve got the green light to take him for a ride—so long as you don’t get in the way of his whole vengeance-fueled murder mission."
He flits back slightly, wings flicking.
"All in all? I’d call that a productive negotiation."
Kess approaches the wagon to stand next to Razz. "As productive as we could hope for. I noticed Rictavio seemed to dislike Vistani, but this feels like an old war grudge...I wonder if all of the Dusk Elves feel the same...We'll just have to keep him away from any Vistani we don't want killed." She pauses to cast message on Razz. 'Like this Ezmerelda we've heard about. She's supposed to become our ally, according to prophecy anyway.' "Anything else before I try getting the door open?"
Razz listens, wings flicking as Kess brings up Rictavio’s grudge. His expression shifts slightly at the mention of the Dusk Elves, but before he can respond, Kess’s voice nudges into his mind.
His wings twitch as he processes the thought. He glances at Viktor, then back to Kess, nodding subtly.
"Yeah, ‘productive’ is a good word for it. Though now I feel like we’ve got a very large, very well-armored responsibility on our hands. Keeping him from going after Vistani we don’t want dead is gonna be a bit of a balancing act."
He tilts his head, considering. He whispers back to Kess, "Ezmerelda, though? Right. Definitely going to need to make sure she doesn’t end up on Viktor’s personal to-do list."
Razz flits slightly upward, stretching his arms before waving toward the door.
"Nah, I think we’re good. Go ahead and work your magic—let’s see what’s behind door number one."
The drow nods and moves over to the large padlock, pulling out her thieves' tools and setting about unlocking it.
Sleight of hand: 19 + 2 tool proficiency= 21