(I know...just being adversarial :D)

Say, those are some lovely puns you have there. Perhaps you guys know of some sort of sideqwest? I can't see in a pbp forum if you have a qwest arrow or not. So, not sure if you're npcs or enemies.

Fiver has spent enough time admiring the armour and now moves on to wondering if he can make it fit himself (should the unlikely opportunity arise.)

"Limbs??? Hey Clem! Little guy wants to find limbs! N'ee ain't got no tongue but when he he moves 'is mouth yeh hee-ur him in yer head! Like a ventricitist dummy! Ha Ha Ha yer aaaaaawl right, lil, feller!  But.... say, you sure talk funny. Fer a villager.... Askin' fer limbs n' qwests n' such. You aint..." and at this Fingerguns looks left and right theatrically, before continuing in a hushed whisper  "...Adventurers, is yuz?"

Fiver : It's one size fits all. But only of that size! If you're medium, it'll fit. If you're small, it'll look very cute but be rather too impractical to protect you. Also, it's currently occupied.

Adventurers?! Oh, absolutely not, good sirs. We are mere travelers. Perhaps.....wanderers? But certainly not adventurers. That would require us being....adventurous. And we're at the most a little intrepid.

Deception check, please!

But - I may be mistaken - we saw some people yesterday that were pretty adventury, if you ask me. They had this whole team vibe, "surfer bros" if you know what I mean. Very anti-fire in a watery way that did not seem healthy. They were heading off to some tomb (points the way to qwest mebbe) to confront some guardian or something. Suspicious. 

Adding deception check 22

Burt's own deception check: 22

The Burnt Knight pulls in his slightly roasted hands away from the fire, gives a slight grin as he enjoys the smokey aroma, and looks over at Fingers, "So that'd be a hard 'No' on the limbs then?  No 'Limbs R Us' or 'Limbs and Things' or 'Old Limby' or 'Limbs Appendages and Beyond' <I can go on all day> nor anything like that about these parts then?" He asks this in a manner that would indicate he has, over periods of his life, visited such shoppes. Generally with a spouse when they were constructing a domicile and had to spend more time than desired with family members, usually driving one lop ones own limbs off, hence the need for such stores.

Insight : 9

Fiver raises his hands to the heavens! I Believe!!

At the sudden talk of surfery dudes, finger guns, his armoured companion and the two ambulatory sausages they keep become agitated, following the line of Greg's arm, muttering to eachother. Fingerguns declares "mflz zmyp vasl!" and the sausage-keeper takes off at a run in the direction of the tomb, his savoury hounds baying and straining ahead on their leads. Fingies then turns back to you, flicking the brim of an imaginary hat in your direction, adding "Thankin' yuh kindly surs. Now gowongit! Back to town! Ain't safe for good folks in these badlands!" and charges off in pursuit of his colleague, across the plains towards the forest.

Well, another day, another lethal random encounter undone by a combination of my shitty and your jammy rolls. Where to next, party?

Ummmm... I have no choice in the matter as I am being carried

(reminder to self - open Reins shop in Red Larch, make a fortune)

MMmmmm, jam rolls. Greg has another ambition in town, coffee (or the sword coast preindustrial equivalent) and pastry Another random encounter successfully avoided, so we can complete qwests as Dee'emm keeps hinting we ought to. Or um, sorry, Burt, you were leading us to Red Larch before we were so temporarily interrupted. That still your plan, is it?

This still open?

M

Probably. For both Stumps and Toasty, there. Onward to The Larch!

Toastiferous, I couldn't close it if I wanted. Which I do want to. Milestone XP, level 2 start roll 4 drop 1 stats or Pointbuy. And none of that new UA stuff with the alternative class features cause I haven't read it. Although I haven't read the books either so I don't know why that's a sticking point. 

If you prefer more room to shine, consider the Storm Kings Thunder linked in my sig, which is just as bad but with fewer players. 

Also you should be missing an appendage or more or something to fit in. And be ready for stupidity on the part of your party. 

We'll worry about who's here and who's not later. One way or another you all make the conveniently uneventful trip back to town. Things are much as you left them. Nothing's change. It's the same old Red Larch. You walk up the main street - WHAT THE **** IS THAT?? Answer : A loud rumbling noise. Dust clouds kick up - blinded condition inflicted! - and a little bit choked, but as quickly as it started the noise stops and the dust settles. Blinded condition - Removed! As you cough the last of the dust out of your lungs, you see something's changed. There's a small wooden stand beside the entrance to Clothiers yard. You recognise Bort and his older brother Morten. You definitely recognise them and haven't forgotten them - those adorable chaps? They were unforgettable. Anyway, Morten was beating on an upturned bathtub, that explains the noise and the dust. But he's stopped now. It looks like this is their grand opening - how fortuitous!

Otherwise it's business as usual.