Or the Maimed Macklinators? Anyway, pretty good boss.

I suggest back to town, Maybe some shinies can become coin, and coin can become useful items. Speaking of which, Burt, you got the ring we took off the non-yodellers. Anything good? And this funny hat - OK if it's mine? Iradon, can you check for magic on those things? Then, once recovered, we can try to figure out which of the clues, hints, and qwests actually matter, and do as Dee'emm intends. 

To the newbie Animal Handling?!  I'll give you something to handle - and elephantine might refer to that but not me. Effing biped-normative BS.

Murderous Maimed Macklinators it is. Also...isn't qwest mebbe from the ⅄ɐʍqns map on the way back?

We've been to Qwest Mebbe, Hoss, the tomb, remember? BeeK's arm? Greg might be calling you "hoss" sometimes, by the way Burt. It's a band thing.

Was that what that was? Damn. Wasn't there a kid that was wanting something about a plague for some glass?

Plague was up in "Lance Rock (Remember?)" , remember? (that's what it's called on the yawbus map) I'd forgot about glass - was it shards? I think they had some possessed mannequin limbs too. 

The Black Knight appears through the rubble, twirls his candlesticks, and holsters them like the rocker he is, "Right on Burt. Told you that 11 would come in handy one day.  It's one more,  you know? Now, where are the chi...  um, you're not chicks," he says as Ira and Fiver come into view. 

Rock On

 Meh. That's a lotta backtracking through forum pages for info. We could just walk til the DM puts something in front of us.

Insight Do i notice how agitated Stumpy G is? 17

If so I wander over to him, pat him, and say in my most soothing Dwarvien: Animal handling 18

"There, there, Kenny G, we will get you to an abattoir soon and all your pain will be over."

On an incidental note, being an indoors dwarf I will need an umbrella to keep the sky from falling on me. At the moment I am using my shield but that's just silly for the long term.

Also, I may or may not have gold on me from the character creation phase so have no objection to retail therapy.

Rage. Glaive. Reckless for advantage. I assume surprise since you are acting like a girl with a pony. You can have initiative next turn

Attack with Glaive 14 if hit damage is 10

Initiative for the following rounds 20

Looks like I'm first next round too. Reckless again Glaive 15 if hit damage is 8

Iradon casts detect magic. In fact he can cast it at Will... no idea who Will is but he will constantly cast it hoping that Will will be seen. 

 Fiver chuckles with a deep resonant belly laugh:

"Looks like there's some kick left in him. Truly a worthy ally!!"

Initiative roll: 17

"Okay we just need to calm him down. We could lasso him, but as a former slave I know that would be demeaning, so we could try this...."

I want to de-fang GS so that his rage wears off and peace breaks out.

I am assuming grappling his leg might work, but even better would be just shoving him up (lifting his leg high enough that he face-plants) or shoving him over (so that his axle is pointing skywards) is the way to go. Either way that's a contested roll using the same mechanic my Athletics v defenders choice of Athletics or Acrobatics. 

Or I could use the Dalek Defence and simply climb out of reach, either up a tree or simply onto much higher rocks. If terrain permits this would be my preferred choice.

In any event it looks like i need an Athletics check: 16

So over to the DM to pick-a-path, etc.

Iradon telepathically says into Fiver's head (and everyone elses as they will read it anyway) "He isn't kidding, you should apologise, not sure what this apologizing is though, no need for a z in there. We will take his side over yours any day"

(While I can appreciate that it's difficult to walk into an established group and elbow yourself a place in it, hopefully you can appreciate that when you're rolling Animal Handling against an NPC - never mind a fellow PC - you deserve what you get :D) 

As the Fiver moves to patronise his new equine - chum is the wrong word. Or the right word if these attacks hit and you want to go shark fishing later! - Greg reacts with a furious swing of his glaive, misjudging the diminutive new-comer's height, the blade a whisker away from scalping him. His second swing is better aimed, catching the dwarf in the side and drawing blood like a toddler draws a pizza - it's messy, it's red and when Greg is done only Fiver's mother would recognise what's left. (Don't worry, a good night's sleep I'm sure it will be all better).

The dwarf responds by... 2 1 - attempts to shove prone; 2 - attempts to grapple; 3- runs up the tree (Options based on post above in the order they were suggested)

Greg, contest the grapple with Str(Athletics) or Dex(Acrobatics) - DC is 16 and you have Advantage if you go Athletics since it's an STR check and  you're raging.

Iradon does not detect any Wills, williams, billies or bills in the area. Wait - there's one! It's moving fast! I takes to the air! It was a duck bill.

The rubber hat lights up like a christmas tree from Ira's point of view. It doesn't seem to be bothering anyone else though so it's probably an effect of the spell. It better be, a swimming hat with LED lights in it would be a lethal health hazard in the pool.

Burt, TBK, I can confirm that "Qwest mebbe" is the location of the tomb you visited. Bloody Treasure is where you are right now. Lance Rock is beyond Red Larch so you can swing into town on the way if you choose.

"That glowing swimming hat is a bit of a health risk isn't it? Why put lights on something to get wet?" 

TBK comes out from behind a tree and witnesses the scene in front of him, "What in the nines is going on here?" He looks over at that the new fan that's not a chick and badass bassist, and I don't mean a fisherman, Stumpy McGregor. "I step out for a drink and a whiz and come back and find this? Let's settle down here..." his hand tightens around the pommel of his sword,  making sure everything is in place, and looks directly into Ira's eyes, "You can't just go magically Will hunting without back up man! Good thing none popped up on you."  

(old version deleted) Greg resists the grapple, if it continues to exist, though he'd rather take a rest and check out his magic hat

12 What calms me down is letting go and an apology. Not more insults.

Stumps will attack or back off next action, depending on Fiver's response

Fiver lets Greg go and stays very quiet for a very long time. Probably for at least a few posts, possibly longer.

He is momentarily distracted from his new mission of trying to count exactly how many gold pieces he has, if any. Perception 7 "That hat is pimp!"

So I think it's back to town Boss, and another qwest thereafter. Consults map, sky (New! Improved! Now with Sun!), party, and DM Can we make it back for supper, or do we camp here? Our survival rolls a couple pages ago make me think we spent a long time getting here, and the maps seem to show we're quite a ways further than Qwest Mebbe was. Don't really want to meet any surfer bros in the dark.

If we're camping at TinkyWinky Cave Field, Greg will want to use some of the rest time to get to know his hat. If we go to town he'll do it then.

It was a long hard road to the cave - you're not going to make it to town by night fall, not even close. Might as well camp here, in the collapsed remains of the cave.

Watch order! Perception rolls! Let's go!

Fiver - you don't need Perception to count your gold unless there's a danger you'll fail... Is there? You have either Starting Equipment or no equipment and starting gold. Check your sheet and click the "Starting Equipment" or "Starting Gold" . But not both! Eventually I'll take a look and then mercilessly mention it in a passive aggressive manner!