Cut it up? Oh right....

Meatface takes his axe and pries open the ribcage with it with a face of just doing a chore like sweeping. No problem to him to do this.

“Ah geez, Meatface! You coulda warned us!”

Keth barfs all over the chocolate coins. 

AW GROSS LOL

The dead goblin has 200g in ACTUAL gold inside his stomach. No wonder he jingled.

"How on earth did he carried that around! Poor thing had to die from indigestion long ago!" "You know what, let's go to the room six now."

This is mine then, unless you enjoy bloody coin. 

Meatface kicks the other two dead guys

7 investigation?

(Are you serious.... Again.)

They, too, jingle. What are these mother ****ers doing? EATING gold coins??

Meatface tosses one to keth,

Get your hands dirty, young one. Theres treasures inside. Everyone else, if you want the coins come cut this last one open. Im fine for now. 

(Table talk)

You said room six? Well lets continue.

ROOM 6 - THE TREASURE ROOM!!

This dusty old room features a HUGE sweet ass treasure chest. You sense that bling is imminent.

"Treasure, huh? Dad this is not some kind of weird techo-jumbo you call a treasure? I want to see it anyway. What do I roll for the chest?"

Perception  6

"This is bad, is not it?"

“O-oh man. You want me to cut one open, huh? I-I mean, ok! I’m a big mean half orc, I can do it!”

Keth cuts one open, to see what’s inside. Morty turns green and looks like he’s gonna puke. 

When they get to the treasure room, Keth lights up. 

“Loot! Let’s get this thing open!”

Perception: 9

"It's a trap. It's always a trap..." Ari will investigate for any traps, beginning with the floor, walls, doorways and then the chest itself.

Investigation: 3

"Well I tried." Summer would shrug

Keth, you look at the chest and realize that it CANNOT be opened without setting off the chest as well.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

“Guys! We c-can’t open it without “setting off the chest! We can’t!”

Meetface elbows Kiir,

Use that magic hand thing you were so proud of. THIS is what its for.

“Y-yeah Da- I mean, Kiir! Do that thing. You spent like, three hours t-talking about it when we made our characters!”

Jerry: "Sorry gang, I was checking out this deal on amazon, did you guys know we can get free shipping with our next order? Okay, Kiir will cast Mage Hand and open the chest from afar then!"

A massive buzz saw blade lashes out from the chest at the mage hand as it opens the chest. It makes a a horrible BWWWWAAAAAA sound, then after a few moments, stops. Make a WIS DC5 save. If you fail, you ******* shit your britches. Bad.

Inside the chest is 210gp , 420sp (heh), 3ep, two potions of healing, and a ruby that smells like fresh-baked cherry pie.

"Aw, dad! You remember that I like rubies!" "Oh, yes, save" 19

Ari shitsave: 18

Summer was legit sweating for a second, the last thing she’d need is to be the one shitting themselves. “Smooth sailing.”

Meat-save 13