True Fey Etiquette

Telling a faerie to go away out of annoyance is also a really bad idea.

Quote from The_Summoning_Dark >>

Here is a word of advice. When traveling through fey country and things start to seem odd, turn your hat and coat inside out and wear them that way. Any fey magic should be dispelled, and many fey creatures won't attack you like that. 

Of course, this is heavily dependent on the DM and isn't official, but as a DM I use this because it is connected to real world mythology.

For true names, something like Command makes sense. Simply charming them doesn't really make sense. They should be under your control.

 Gotta turn all your clothing inside out.

iirc it’s that they can either have control over you since more than likely you gave them your “true” name or they just straight up steal your name or both

They can use it to control you.

they have control over you

...Are you, just perhaps, a Fey?

Quote from Wi1dBi11 >>

A very useful thread as I work on fleshing out the Feywild in my own campaign. One thing that caught my attention was that all the Fey rules are really those of pre civilization Hunter gatherer bands. They don’t “buy and sell” they exchange goods of value (barter), lying, stealing and cheating, especially within your own band are grounds for ostracizing the guilty as it hurts the entire community. Many goods are owned by the group and may be used by any member but must be put back when done, etc then you add in magic that actually works, and long/eternal lives in which to gather resources and “power” or status and you get the archfey and all the variations. Reading thru Tasha’s comments and the Wild beyond the witch light volume should help to get a sense of how the Feywild works.

 
I know this is necro-posting, but this brought up a few thoughts for me.

IRL hunter-gatherer groups almost never used barter (I can't remember the name right now, but there was a paper not long ago by an anthropologist that reviewed some 5000 ethnographies of pre-monatary cultures, and not a single one used barter to distribute goods). There are a variety of different means of distribution, but one of the very common ones is Gift-exchange cultures.

Gift-exchange is like watering your neighbors garden when they're away - you would never accept payment for it, because your happy to do a favor for a friend, and you don't keep formal track of it, but there is an informal debt created, and you are expected to balance it all out. If you aren't pulling your weight or contributing as you are able, people start to notice and apply social preassure, unless there is a reason (like you don't expect Joe to buy a round for the guys like everyone else, because you know he's been laid off, but you don't say anything, just "you can get it next time" if he tries to insist). But it's all based on a mutual cooperation and reciprocity in a small community reliant on each other for survival. Barter comes into play when you are dealing with strangers or people from outside the community, where you can't expect reciprocity.

The Fay are a bit like gift-exchange culture gone wrong, where everyone carefully keeps track of every exchange and calls in each debt, rather than trusting it all works out. It's more fuedal in nature. And I wonder if some of it wasn't a metaphor for when the local gift-exchange culture of the village meets the legalistic culture of the outside world where suddenly some everyday interaction results in an unexpected debt, with unfamiliar rules and consequences.

Quote from DemigirlDemigod568 >>

• Use your manners, but don't say "thank you" (or you owe them) 

One of the interesting things I have found traveling and living in Europe, is how many languages and cultures seem to respond to "thank you" with some variation of "it's nothing" (Spain - de nada, France, De rein, Malta T'xien, etc.). Even the common informal English response of "no problem" or "no worries" is like it's meant to assure that no debt is owed.