Who else is at the table? Is there anyone besides you there that she knows or really gets along with? Are any of them people she knows but doesn't like, or who says things that might make her uncomfortable, for whatever reason? Are there any other friends of hers who might also be interested in playing, that she can bring, so she doesn't feel like the only new person?
Building on what DaveDamon said (great list btw!), I would add one further thing.
Don't just dump the PHB in front of her, especially if she hasn't played anything with a comprehensive and complex ruleset before. The main thing that puts my wife off playing with me is that she thinks the game is too complicated, and despite my best efforts to tell her otherwise, she is unsure she would know the rules well enough to play without disrupting the flow of the game.
A family game could be a good entry point for her, if you can get some other family/close friends involved! Run through the starter campaign, give her a pre-gen'd character and go from there. If she doesn't like it, don't force it or keep on about it. Trust me ;)
Thanks so much everyone!! i will implement your suggestions and i hope she will join us. Sorry for not responding for a while, i had some things going on
Also, you could try having her watch a very short one-shot to see if it catches her interest. Depending on her taste in celebrities go for either the D&Diesel one-shot or the Matt Mercer / Stephen Colbert one-shot. (I'd suggest Critical Role's all-goblin one-shot "To The Poop!" but that's a much longer watch.)
If she isn't already a gamer of some kind (including video games and computer games), it might help to start with a light dungeon crawl board game like Munchkin if you think she might like board games. If she enjoys storytelling, I would recommend emphasizing the kinds of humorous and fun spontaneity that can emerge from social RP-ing. Using a podcast like "Critical Role", "Adventure Zone", and "Join the Party" might open her eyes to the potential interactive aspect of the game rather than just the mechanical or war gamey parts. There are also some visual novels available on Steam that could introduce her to the fantasy and decision making points of RPing in a possibly less pressured atmosphere.
I introduced my wife to D&D by saying to her it's something I really would like to try out and would she play some games with me and a few friends? Now we have a fairly regular campaign going and it's brilliant. She couldn't tell you anything about the lore but she enjoys the games and it's a great way for us to spend quality time together.
Obviously you can't force anyone to play, but I think it's important for partners to let each other express themselves and to share interests. Plus, D&D is a really fun and social pastime!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Focus on reciprocation. Not saying you don't already do that, but focus on it.
I've been playing D&D for 35ish years and been married for 26 years. My wife started playing (consistently and part of my large campaign group) in 2014.
There may have been conversations of, "hey, I enjoy this and I'd like to see if you might enjoy it as well", but the selling point didn't have to be said. There have been things that my wife did that I rolled my eyes at. Interests and passions that weren't shared. As I started to ask questions about them, pay attention to them and even take part in them, it seemingly went unnoticed. It wasn't.
Eventually, I said, "hey, want to play D&D with us? You know everyone at the table." She said, "make me a character and I'll try." 5 years later, she sits there for 6 hours per session, 2x/week, never missing a session. She gets involved to the best of her abilities but I don't push it or have expectations of her playing like the 30yr veteran D&D nerds at the table. We all win.
how should I get my girlfriend into d&d? We have a party with one other girl, and I’ve wanted to get my partner into the game for a while. Any tips?
Try saying she can base her character on a fantasy show/game she likes.
If she doesn't like fantasy shows/games then you might just be out of luck.
Just say, "Hey, you wanna roll some dice with us?"
Make sure you buy some "random" colors of dice sets, two of which are colors she likes.
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"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
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Who else is at the table? Is there anyone besides you there that she knows or really gets along with? Are any of them people she knows but doesn't like, or who says things that might make her uncomfortable, for whatever reason? Are there any other friends of hers who might also be interested in playing, that she can bring, so she doesn't feel like the only new person?
Birgit | Shifter | Sorcerer | Dragonlords
Shayone | Hobgoblin | Sorcerer | Netherdeep
^ ^ Those are great suggestions.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
Building on what DaveDamon said (great list btw!), I would add one further thing.
Don't just dump the PHB in front of her, especially if she hasn't played anything with a comprehensive and complex ruleset before. The main thing that puts my wife off playing with me is that she thinks the game is too complicated, and despite my best efforts to tell her otherwise, she is unsure she would know the rules well enough to play without disrupting the flow of the game.
A family game could be a good entry point for her, if you can get some other family/close friends involved! Run through the starter campaign, give her a pre-gen'd character and go from there. If she doesn't like it, don't force it or keep on about it. Trust me ;)
GLHF!
Tell her she's a fighter with a big sword. Much imaginary slaughter will ensue.
(I'm a girl, I can say these things. Plus, it's based on actual experience.)
Thanks so much everyone!! i will implement your suggestions and i hope she will join us. Sorry for not responding for a while, i had some things going on
Also, you could try having her watch a very short one-shot to see if it catches her interest. Depending on her taste in celebrities go for either the D&Diesel one-shot or the Matt Mercer / Stephen Colbert one-shot. (I'd suggest Critical Role's all-goblin one-shot "To The Poop!" but that's a much longer watch.)
If she isn't already a gamer of some kind (including video games and computer games), it might help to start with a light dungeon crawl board game like Munchkin if you think she might like board games. If she enjoys storytelling, I would recommend emphasizing the kinds of humorous and fun spontaneity that can emerge from social RP-ing. Using a podcast like "Critical Role", "Adventure Zone", and "Join the Party" might open her eyes to the potential interactive aspect of the game rather than just the mechanical or war gamey parts. There are also some visual novels available on Steam that could introduce her to the fantasy and decision making points of RPing in a possibly less pressured atmosphere.
I introduced my wife to D&D by saying to her it's something I really would like to try out and would she play some games with me and a few friends? Now we have a fairly regular campaign going and it's brilliant. She couldn't tell you anything about the lore but she enjoys the games and it's a great way for us to spend quality time together.
Obviously you can't force anyone to play, but I think it's important for partners to let each other express themselves and to share interests. Plus, D&D is a really fun and social pastime!
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
Focus on reciprocation. Not saying you don't already do that, but focus on it.
I've been playing D&D for 35ish years and been married for 26 years. My wife started playing (consistently and part of my large campaign group) in 2014.
There may have been conversations of, "hey, I enjoy this and I'd like to see if you might enjoy it as well", but the selling point didn't have to be said. There have been things that my wife did that I rolled my eyes at. Interests and passions that weren't shared. As I started to ask questions about them, pay attention to them and even take part in them, it seemingly went unnoticed. It wasn't.
Eventually, I said, "hey, want to play D&D with us? You know everyone at the table." She said, "make me a character and I'll try." 5 years later, she sits there for 6 hours per session, 2x/week, never missing a session. She gets involved to the best of her abilities but I don't push it or have expectations of her playing like the 30yr veteran D&D nerds at the table. We all win.
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