38. I am the DM for seven players Every time we play, my ears explode
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"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
40. When your dice have literally ran out of luck and you keep rolling fails or critical ones (including the DM)
*Attacking* Rolls 2 *Getting Attacked* Rolls 1
*Attacking* Rolls 1 *Getting Attacked* Rolls 3
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"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
When you share your account with someone who enjoys making characters than actually playing!
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"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
When there's a door that is magic, it keeps leading all the players into different rooms, and nobody actually wants to do the campaign because the rooms are so interesting!
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"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
Player: Oh, I'm Glad you asked! *Pulls out 20 Pages Stapled together.*
Player: Apos'tr'afee was born a princess in the great city of Ma'rr'ee Soo! However, her parents were killed by the evil advisor Po'litii'call Straa'man! She was banished to the realms of...
DM: Sigh.
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For god's sake. Find a hobby or something. Sheesh. Please stop using this font.
DM: Okay, so you guys are level one adventurers. You have been hired to kill these goblins. What's your name, John?
John: My name is MAX POWER, and I am the GREATEST FIGHTER in the WORLD and I was TRAINED BY DRIZZT but he thought I was TOO POWERFUL so he TRIED TO KILL ME but I OVERPOWERED HIM and STOLE HIS SCIMITARS which I used to SINGLE-HANDIDLY SLAY TIAMAT!
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For god's sake. Find a hobby or something. Sheesh. Please stop using this font.
DM: Okay, so you guys are level one adventurers. You have been hired to kill these goblins. What's your name, John?
John: My name is MAX POWER, and I am the GREATEST FIGHTER in the WORLD and I was TRAINED BY DRIZZT but he thought I was TOO POWERFUL so he TRIED TO KILL ME but I OVERPOWERED HIM and STOLE HIS SCIMITARS which I used to SINGLE-HANDIDLY SLAY TIAMAT!
DM: I might need to alter some of that slightly....
DM: As you eat the fish, you notice strange salmon scales slowly growing up your arm.
PLAYER: What? I'm turning into a fish?
DM: You suddenly lose your mind and turn into a fish. Sorry. Make a new character or something.
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"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
Dm: Vecna (The god of undead if you don't know) hungrily tears a soul out of the phylac-
Player: He can't. According to page 698 of volume 23 about undead Vecna dies if he touches a different lich's phylactery. And he doesn't have a mouth. Also I'm only level 17 when I should be...
Dm: The dragon stands before you. it is an ancient black dragon. You are level 2, and I planned a great adventure ahead of you. You really want to fight it instead of giving 20 gp?
Players In unison: Yeah!!
*everyone dies and the campaign disbanded despite the work the dm put into it*
I let a friend be the DM for a while, and she was pretty good. Some of the players had to leave, and she did it with just me. The second the players come back, she has to leave until next week.
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"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
Dm: The ritual is complete. A mighty titan looms over you with an axe the size of a tree in hand. He grins as he briskly and confidently starts toward you.
Player: I cast wish to make him die.
Dm: Okay... that probably won't work, but go ahead and try.
Player: 20!
Dm: Do a confirmation roll.
Player: Another 20!
Dm: do a confirmation confirmation roll.
Player: 20!
Dm: *sigh* you kill the final boss. No epic battle, you just ruin the best part of the campaign.
PC: MY character's true name is unknown, but people refer to him as DEATHKILLER! When he was young a ghost POSSESSED HIM AND MADE HIM KILL HIS WHOLE FAMILY!! HE WEARS BLACK, IS A ROGUE, AND HAS A SMALL MACE MADE FROM HIS FATHER'S SKULL!!
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38. I am the DM for seven players
Every time we play, my ears explode
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
39. When there are those 2 people that CAN NOT and COULD NOT stop talking or laughing even if their life depended on it!
(seriously though it wastes at least 30 minutes or more each 3 hour session)
40. When your dice have literally ran out of luck and you keep rolling fails or critical ones (including the DM)
*Attacking* Rolls 2
*Getting Attacked* Rolls 1
*Attacking* Rolls 1
*Getting Attacked* Rolls 3
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
41.
When you share your account with someone who enjoys making characters than actually playing!
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
42.
You forget the dice.
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
43.
When there's a door that is magic, it keeps leading all the players into different rooms, and nobody actually wants to do the campaign because the rooms are so interesting!
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
44.
DM: Okay, so what's your backstory?
Player: Oh, I'm Glad you asked! *Pulls out 20 Pages Stapled together.*
Player: Apos'tr'afee was born a princess in the great city of Ma'rr'ee Soo! However, her parents were killed by the evil advisor Po'litii'call Straa'man! She was banished to the realms of...
DM: Sigh.
45.
DM: Okay, so you guys are level one adventurers. You have been hired to kill these goblins. What's your name, John?
John: My name is MAX POWER, and I am the GREATEST FIGHTER in the WORLD and I was TRAINED BY DRIZZT but he thought I was TOO POWERFUL so he TRIED TO KILL ME but I OVERPOWERED HIM and STOLE HIS SCIMITARS which I used to SINGLE-HANDIDLY SLAY TIAMAT!
46
DM: Okay, so you guys are level one adventurers. You have been hired to kill these goblins. What's your name, John?
John: My name is MAX POWER, and I am the GREATEST FIGHTER in the WORLD and I was TRAINED BY DRIZZT but he thought I was TOO POWERFUL so he TRIED TO KILL ME but I OVERPOWERED HIM and STOLE HIS SCIMITARS which I used to SINGLE-HANDIDLY SLAY TIAMAT!
DM: I might need to alter some of that slightly....
Roleplaying since Runequest.
48. Holes in their meticulously crafted map that are obviously secret areas containing something awesome.
Roleplaying since Runequest.
49.
Player: *Looks up from phone*
Player: Uh, I attack the goblin.
DM: We're at a store...
DM: You guys are being attacked by the main villain. What do you do?
PC:I sneak up behind him and snap his neck.
*rolls nat 20*
DM: Uh.. His neck is slippery, and your fingers slide off.
51.
DM: As you eat the fish, you notice strange salmon scales slowly growing up your arm.
PLAYER: What? I'm turning into a fish?
DM: You suddenly lose your mind and turn into a fish. Sorry. Make a new character or something.
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
52.
Dm: Vecna (The god of undead if you don't know) hungrily tears a soul out of the phylac-
Player: He can't. According to page 698 of volume 23 about undead Vecna dies if he touches a different lich's phylactery. And he doesn't have a mouth. Also I'm only level 17 when I should be...
Dm: *sigh*
53.
Dm: The dragon stands before you. it is an ancient black dragon. You are level 2, and I planned a great adventure ahead of you. You really want to fight it instead of giving 20 gp?
Players In unison: Yeah!!
*everyone dies and the campaign disbanded despite the work the dm put into it*
Dm: All 12 goblins attack Jifdar.
Player playing Jifdar: WHAT?! WHY?!
Dm: don't like your decision to beat me at poker last night now, eh?
55.
I let a friend be the DM for a while, and she was pretty good.
Some of the players had to leave, and she did it with just me.
The second the players come back, she has to leave until next week.
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
Dm: The ritual is complete. A mighty titan looms over you with an axe the size of a tree in hand. He grins as he briskly and confidently starts toward you.
Player: I cast wish to make him die.
Dm: Okay... that probably won't work, but go ahead and try.
Player: 20!
Dm: Do a confirmation roll.
Player: Another 20!
Dm: do a confirmation confirmation roll.
Player: 20!
Dm: *sigh* you kill the final boss. No epic battle, you just ruin the best part of the campaign.
57.
Come on! How is Duplolad a ripoff of anything? He's my own original character!
58.
PC: MY character's true name is unknown, but people refer to him as DEATHKILLER! When he was young a ghost POSSESSED HIM AND MADE HIM KILL HIS WHOLE FAMILY!! HE WEARS BLACK, IS A ROGUE, AND HAS A SMALL MACE MADE FROM HIS FATHER'S SKULL!!