DM: You enter the Ironwood Inn, filled with laughter, live music/singing, and the warm smell of honey-glazed ham. It would appear that you've stumbled upon a village festival taking place.
Player: I'm going to find a seat in the corner and draw my hood, watching the crowd, talking to no one.
-15 minutes later, events unchanged-
Player: I'm still sitting quietly.
WELL, I GUESS WE'RE DONE HERE FOR THE NIGHT, FELLAS.
DM: You stumble across a field filled with skeletons Player: I fire an arrow "Rolls a 1" DM: You hit your companion and his scream alerts the enemies, oh and your also out of arrows sooooo, run
You are sitting in a tavern, and suddenly everybody in the tavern gets up and tries to kill you.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this." -Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
DM: Kurnoc, you get the ring of Kurnocdom, which gives only you +15 to all stats. You also get a cloak that lets you cast any spell. An angel comes and says, "Kurnoc mountainbreaker, you are the chosen one..."
PC playing Upion: Uh, are you sure you aren't showing favoritism?
DM: No, of course not! Anyways, the angel says "to aid you on the quest, take the gauntlet of infinity..."
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
59.
DM: You enter the Ironwood Inn, filled with laughter, live music/singing, and the warm smell of honey-glazed ham. It would appear that you've stumbled upon a village festival taking place.
Player: I'm going to find a seat in the corner and draw my hood, watching the crowd, talking to no one.
-15 minutes later, events unchanged-
Player: I'm still sitting quietly.
WELL, I GUESS WE'RE DONE HERE FOR THE NIGHT, FELLAS.
[ Site Rules & Guidelines ] --- [ Homebrew Rules & Guidelines ]
Send me a message with any questions or concerns
60.
DM: You enter the abandoned manor, disturbing stale are and leaving footprints in dust long since settled.
Player: I check for traps!
DM: No trap. You notice cobweb-entangled paintings lining the welcoming room and...
Player: I check for traps!!
DM: ...No traps. The hallways branches out to numerous, ornate wooden doors, all closed.
Player: TRAAAPPSS!!!
DM: You know what? The manor explodes and you all die. Don't call me anymore.
[ Site Rules & Guidelines ] --- [ Homebrew Rules & Guidelines ]
Send me a message with any questions or concerns
61.
DM: You stumble across a field filled with skeletons
Player: I fire an arrow
"Rolls a 1"
DM: You hit your companion and his scream alerts the enemies, oh and your also out of arrows sooooo, run
PC: I puff out my chest and walk towards the noble.
DM: Roll a d20.
PC: Why? I guess I will..
*1*
DM: You puff out your chest and walk towards him, but you overextend and snap your spine.
63. Everyone makes plans weeks in advance to start a new campaign. Everyone shows up prepared, high level character ready to play... except one guy.
That one guy: "So... I think I'm probably gonna play a cleric or maybe a rogue." Pulls out blank character sheet.
DM: The King eyes the royal diadem with awe and respect. He looks at you and says, "Thank you. For this you will receive 400 gold pi-
PC: What a gyp! you know what? I attack the king while shouting "THIEF!"
65.
You are sitting in a tavern, and suddenly everybody in the tavern gets up and tries to kill you.
"I have no qualms about your adventure, Hero. I'm simply here to tell you something: people will die. And there is nothing you can possibly do to prevent this."
-Jenson, ancient Water Genasi Monk
66.
DM: Kurnoc, you get the ring of Kurnocdom, which gives only you +15 to all stats. You also get a cloak that lets you cast any spell. An angel comes and says, "Kurnoc mountainbreaker, you are the chosen one..."
PC playing Upion: Uh, are you sure you aren't showing favoritism?
DM: No, of course not! Anyways, the angel says "to aid you on the quest, take the gauntlet of infinity..."
67.
Can I punch that guy?
Oh he has a request for us, can I punch him?
We saved the prisoner, Can I punch him?
I think you can see where I am going with this.
"Where words fail, swords prevail. Where blood is spilled, my cup is filled" -Cartaphilus
"I have found the answer to the meaning of life. You ask me what the answer is? You already know what the answer to life is. You fear it more than the strike of a viper, the ravages of disease, the ire of a lover. The answer is always death. But death is a gentle mistress with a sweet embrace, and you owe her a debt of restitution. Life is not a gift, it is a loan."
Not really....could you hurry up and get to the punch line? :)
68) Really, Really poor jokes. I apologise, but I can't really help myself!
Roleplaying since Runequest.
69) P: We attack the cave!
DM: That's the hideout of the bad buys.
P: Yeah!
DM: The rest of the party is a mile away...
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
70) First time players learning the game.
First fight.
Goblin rolls nat 20 to attack.
Goblin rolls max damage.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
71) The dndeyond App
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
72) It says it right here. In black and white. In the rule book.
Nope, you can't do that.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
73) You're in a room with no doors, but there is a closed chest sitting on the floor.
Open the chest.
It was trapped. Boom! You die.
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
74.
Dm: Okay, I've got everything set up. Wait... you are ALL drow battle-mages?!
75) You see some bubble rise from the sewer sludge about 10 feet in front of the party, there seems...
I cast fireball!
"Sooner or later, your Players are going to smash your railroad into a sandbox."
-Vedexent
"real life is a super high CR."
-OboeLauren
"............anybody got any potatoes? We could drop a potato in each hole an' see which ones get viciously mauled by horrible monsters?"
-Ilyara Thundertale
76) Hold on let me find the spell *Cracks open PHB for the fifth time*
*Flip*
*Flip*
*Flip*
DM for Tower of Heaven
Posting Speed:
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77) DM: Looks there's a puzzle
Players: *grooooooan*
DM for Tower of Heaven
Posting Speed:
Full Response WeeklyI ExistInfo and other stuff: https://www.patreon.com/PPDND?fan_landing=true (Nothing here? I Need a better place to put this)
78) DM: Your faction, important NPC, and several notes you've found have said: "Whatever you do, DON'T DO THE THING"
Players: *Do the thing*
DM for Tower of Heaven
Posting Speed:
Full Response WeeklyI ExistInfo and other stuff: https://www.patreon.com/PPDND?fan_landing=true (Nothing here? I Need a better place to put this)