He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
The elephant cocks his trunk and holds it like a rifle, aiming it at your head.
“Do it.” He seems very somber.
He stops for a second and it looks like he might. Then he leans back, "Nope! That would spoil the fun. Why are you so upset by the third eye?"
“It’s gross.”
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Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
'I did not do something good. I merely called my grandmother. Psychotic killers can still call their grandmothers'
"It was something good. A psychotic killer could toss a penny to a pauper and that pauper might become a prince. It doesn't matter who does a good act, it still is good."
'I did not do something good. I merely called my grandmother. Psychotic killers can still call their grandmothers'
"It was something good. A psychotic killer could toss a penny to a pauper and that pauper might become a prince. It doesn't matter who does a good act, it still is good."
'Evil people doing good acts is pure hypocrisy. Like a man stealing everything his victim owns, and then chucking him a penny'
'I did not do something good. I merely called my grandmother. Psychotic killers can still call their grandmothers'
"It was something good. A psychotic killer could toss a penny to a pauper and that pauper might become a prince. It doesn't matter who does a good act, it still is good."
'Evil people doing good acts is pure hypocrisy. Like a man stealing everything his victim owns, and then chucking him a penny'
"Well I guess you're a hypocrite." laughs the elephant.
“Shut up. Your jokes can really hurt sometimes you know.”
He zipped his mouth shut with an actual zipper. Then he speaks with his trunk, "A little pain never hurt."
He lashes out with his dagger.
im not gonna roll though, cause I’ve got a feeling it won’t have much effect
It hits and he pops. You hear his voice behind you. "I have three eyes right now so if you don't want to pretend I'm medusa you shouldn't turn around."
“Shut up. Your jokes can really hurt sometimes you know.”
He zipped his mouth shut with an actual zipper. Then he speaks with his trunk, "A little pain never hurt."
He lashes out with his dagger.
im not gonna roll though, cause I’ve got a feeling it won’t have much effect
It hits and he pops. You hear his voice behind you. "I have three eyes right now so if you don't want to pretend I'm medusa you shouldn't turn around."
Without turning around, he gives him a certain hand gesture and walks off.
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Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
'I am the First. The other side of Cato's coin. I live for the punishment of the immoral and imperfect. Complete, merciless justice, meted out through pain'
Without turning around, he gives him a certain hand gesture and walks off.
"Language!" he mock gasps. A bar of soap hits the back of your head. "I would say wash your mouth out with that but since you used your hands you should just use it normally."
“It’s gross.”
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
'The Third often is gross.'
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He gives you a skeptical look, "That's it? Really? You get the heebie jeebies every time you see peeper cubed? The ickie wickies? That's ridonculous."
"It was something good. A psychotic killer could toss a penny to a pauper and that pauper might become a prince. It doesn't matter who does a good act, it still is good."
“You don’t know-” He cuts out.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
'Evil people doing good acts is pure hypocrisy. Like a man stealing everything his victim owns, and then chucking him a penny'
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"Of course I don't know. Why else would I ask? If I wanted I could find out for myself and go in there." He gestures at your forehead with his trunk.
"Well I guess you're a hypocrite." laughs the elephant.
'A hypocrite? No! I refuse to believe it!'
He flickers, becoming an almost photonegative version of himself.
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“Shut up. Your jokes can really hurt sometimes you know.”
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
He zipped his mouth shut with an actual zipper. Then he speaks with his trunk, "A little pain never hurt."
He lashes out with his dagger.
im not gonna roll though, cause I’ve got a feeling it won’t have much effect
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
'I quite agree' says photonegative Cato. 'Pain is beauty'
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He copies his flicker on his own form. "Denial, crocodile? Just because you don't believe it doesn't mean it isn't true."
'Cato is a wise fool.'
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It hits and he pops. You hear his voice behind you. "I have three eyes right now so if you don't want to pretend I'm medusa you shouldn't turn around."
"Do fools harbor much wisdom? Who are you?"
Without turning around, he gives him a certain hand gesture and walks off.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
'I am the First. The other side of Cato's coin. I live for the punishment of the immoral and imperfect. Complete, merciless justice, meted out through pain'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"Language!" he mock gasps. A bar of soap hits the back of your head. "I would say wash your mouth out with that but since you used your hands you should just use it normally."