The snake begins to rise into the air as a pink elephant plods around the corner. The snake has now returned to the form of the elephant's trunk. "I want." says the elephant, "A heavenly throne and a gilded apple. However, I also want to know why you ran off screaming yesterday." He closes both eyes.
He grumbles again, turning back to his beans on toast, a tired look on his face. "No comment."
One of his eyes opens. "You eat beans on toast?"
"mhmm. It gets me through the morning."
He opens his other eye. "Gets you through the morning? You need beans on toast to do that?"
"Hey, don't say it like that. They're a... comfort food." He puts a hand on the back of his neck.
Both his eyes are open. "We all need comfort now and then, don't we? Even if it's in the form of beans on toast." He then looks directly at you and opens a third eye in his forehead.
His face is frozen in distaste
He blinks all three eyes and smiles. "What's wrong?"
He doesn't move
The eyes don't leave his face. "Why does the third eye cause so much distaste to well up inside you?" whispers the elephant.
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
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Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
The elephant cocks his trunk and holds it like a rifle, aiming it at your head.
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
The elephant cocks his trunk and holds it like a rifle, aiming it at your head.
“Do it.” He seems very somber.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
"You did something good though and you didn't cease to exist. You even enjoyed it. Maybe if you become insane you won't cease to exist just because you think you are the embodiment of logic." Then he grins, "But what do I know? I am just a pachyderm bubble!"
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
The elephant cocks his trunk and holds it like a rifle, aiming it at your head.
“Do it.” He seems very somber.
He stops for a second and it looks like he might. Then he leans back, "Nope! That would spoil the fun. Why are you so upset by the third eye?"
He falls backwards off his chair, as stiff as a statue
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The elephant holds his trunk to his ear as if it is a phone and says, "Hello." in a mock elderly voice. You hear it from your phone.
'Oh, hello there elephant'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
He frowns, "I was not expecting that." The third eye floats out of his head like a bubble before it pops.
He jumps onto Jarvis's chair and leans over the man on the floor. He begins to slap his face with his trunk. "Wake up! This ain't your nursery! Eyes don't come in threes anymore!"
He slaps his trunk down on the table as if he was slamming down a phone. Then you hear your real grandma get on.
'Um, hi Grandma? It's me, Jimmy. How are you?'
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The elephant listens intently to your phone call.
Jim Cato is reasonably nice to his grandma, considering how he's the embodiment of evil.
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
The elephant seems to enjoy listening to Cato be a different person to his grandma.
He slowly blinks. “Wha…”
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The elephant helps him into his chair and pats his back. All the while he repeats, "Two, two, two, two, two..." over and over again.
'Funny, isn't it. I like this side of me'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
“The elephant just patted me on the back. Somebody kill me, please.”
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The elephant cocks his trunk and holds it like a rifle, aiming it at your head.
"But you said you were the embodiment of evil. How can you do something good if that is so?"
'It's not good. Just, enjoyable. Thinking of what could have been'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
“Do it.” He seems very somber.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
"You did something good though and you didn't cease to exist. You even enjoyed it. Maybe if you become insane you won't cease to exist just because you think you are the embodiment of logic." Then he grins, "But what do I know? I am just a pachyderm bubble!"
'I did not do something good. I merely called my grandmother. Psychotic killers can still call their grandmothers'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
He stops for a second and it looks like he might. Then he leans back, "Nope! That would spoil the fun. Why are you so upset by the third eye?"