'This is a place to celebrate Dirt. You are one with dirt, yes?'

An ominous cloaked figure approaches the door. He raps a complicated knocking pattern on the door and whispers a code into it. "Do the corrupted worms squirm in the soil of desolation?"

'That they do, my friend'

He nods his cowled head. "It is so." he steps in the door and stubs his toe. He winces in pain and mutters, "Ow! Praise Ow!"

Quote from The_Summoning_Dark >>

He nods his cowled head. "It is so." he steps in the door and stubs his toe. He winces in pain and mutters, "Ow! Praise Ow!"

 A stone statue of a guard covered in dust suddenly springs to life, the dust flying everywhere. "Are you alright?" 

Quote from THE_BENSTER >>

Quote from Yondor_The_Fantastic >>

Quote from THE_BENSTER >>

A gruff orc barbarian walks in. “Zork join?” He asks

 Walking 'in' requires a description :)

In front of you is a small ring of tall, jagged mountains with extremely steep sides. The ring forms a miniature valley of sorts, completely hidden and protected. Cut into the side of the stone surface of the mountains is a narrow path leading up to a ominous-looking square tunnel, about 15 feet tall and wide, creating a passage all the way through the stone walls. 

This is the most prominent location dedicated to the Cult of Dirt. And where you go to officially apply to join. 

 Zork had never felt wanted in his life. His mother always made him take baths when he was younger. “There is a cult for dirt” one of his friends said one day.

As he walks towards the mountains he can here chanting and can feel he is wanted. 

He walks into the valley, feeling dirtier by the second. 
“Zork join?” He tries to say in his best voice. He knew that dirt was holy and dirt will always love him. 

 "Of course you can join!" Says a friendly looking gnome walking through the tunnel. "Almost anyone can!" 

In the valley are a few different structures, each one seeming to have a different theme/purpose. 

Quote from Yondor_The_Fantastic >>

Quote from The_Summoning_Dark >>

He nods his cowled head. "It is so." he steps in the door and stubs his toe. He winces in pain and mutters, "Ow! Praise Ow!"

 A stone statue of a guard covered in dust suddenly springs to life, the dust flying everywhere. "Are you alright?" 

 He coughs in the dust. "Of course I am alright. When do the holy ceremonies begin? Oh, and you should really clean this place. Some dramatic dusting is okay, but there is such a thing as too much." He coughs again.

'Did you say clean?'

"Yeah, it's gotten really dusty in here. There's dirt everywhere! How are we supposed to hold our ancient and venerable cult rituals in such a messy place?" The cowled figure looks around. "Where's the broom?"

'This is the Cult of Dirt! We don't do clean! Me, I haven't washed in over a year. If it were clean, then the Demon of Cleanliness could come, and we cannot have that!'

The cloaked figure stares at you from the shadows of their cowl for a second. Then he exclaims, "The Cult of Dirt!? I thought it was the Cult of Hurt! You know, the one that worships the great god Ow, Lord of Pain and Discomfort." He grumbles, "That farmer on the side of the road must have misheard me when I asked for directions. Why do I always walk into the wrong cult meeting? I was almost sacrificed at the Ancient Brotherhood of Infinite Decay last week. It was their first meeting."

'Oh, no, we don't worship pain here! We are supporters of Dirt! You're more than welcome to join us in our dirt rituals though.'

He pauses to consider this. "You know what? The Cult of Hurt was never much fun anyway. It was pretty uncomfortable. If you don't mind, I think I would like to try this cult out."

'Great! We'd love to have you. There's no nasty pain here, no suffering. Only dirt!'

"Okay thanks, my name is Brother Dark by the way." I begin to roll around in a pile of dirt.

'Cool name'

"Thank you. I chose it when I joined the Venerable Brotherhood of the Ever Encroaching Shadows. That cult died though. Everyone got too busy with their lives. You know.... family, jobs, education, having kids.... that sort of thing. They didn't have time to schedule meetings so the whole thing kind of dwindled into nonexistence."  he sighs, "I have been looking around for a good cult to join for a while now. It's hard to find a good one that meets regularly nowadays."

'Maybe this will be that cult!'

"Yeah, maybe. That would be nice."

'It would! This is certainly the dirtiest cult around!'