'The shadowfell? Interesting... I slayed a whole army of heretics last time I went there. Nothing better than the spilling of a little blood in the name of the Lady of Peace'
*Is my character of the extremely hypocritical cleric cliche enough?*
'The shadowfell? Interesting... I slayed a whole army of heretics last time I went there. Nothing better than the spilling of a little blood in the name of the Lady of Peace'
*Is my character of the extremely hypocritical cleric cliche enough?*
*I think so.*
"Yes, well, maybe what is heresy to you is just normal practices to them, and vice versa. The primary deities worshipped there are Shar, the Raven Queen, and Orcus, so it may have seemed like you were deliberately stepping on toes."
'Deliberately stepping on toes? Some toes deserve to be stepped on, do you not think? Those of the wicked, and greedy, and vain, who do not live with Holiness and Righteousness? Values which, of course, I am a veritable beacon of'
'Deliberately stepping on toes? Some toes deserve to be stepped on, do you not think? Those of the wicked, and greedy, and vain, who do not live with Holiness and Righteousness? Values which, of course, I am a veritable beacon of'
"Yes, actually. For example..."
Erebus steps on Francis' foot, crushing it instantly with his full weight.
'Hey, what did you do that for? I'm not Wicked, or Greedy, or Vain! I'm Lawful Good! Look, it even says so on my character sheet!'
"You're a cleric. Heal yourself. You have literally shown that you are all of those things other than lawful good within the thirty seconds I've known you for."
'But, I just did what any adventuring hero would do? If there was something wrong with theft and murder and the like, well, why would it still be considered socially acceptable?'
*cleric character sheet 'I am sworn to pacifism and the teachings of my religion', cleric actually 'I butcher the inhabitants of the town and loot the whole place''*
'But, I just did what any adventuring hero would do? If there was something wrong with theft and murder and the like, well, why would it still be considered socially acceptable?'
*cleric character sheet 'I am sworn to pacifism and the teachings of my religion', cleric actually 'I butcher the inhabitants of the town and loot the whole place''*
"Well, maybe this place is different, but those things are actually the opposite of socially acceptable where I'm from. I myself would be skewered to a wall covered in rotting corpses and left to hang until I died if I did anything like what you are claiming to be proud of."
'Really? Have you not seen all those statues of the 'Great Adventuring Men', the ones who save cities and slay dragons and rescue princesses? Nobody ever minded if they intimidated a poor shopkeeper to get cheaper prices, or tried to seduce half the world, stole everything they saw, or even sold their souls to demon lords! To be a hero, one simply must appear to be one, kill the right amount of orcs and keep your armour shiny. And, of course, keep declaring yourself to be both Lawful and Good. That is how to be socially acceptable, dear fellow. Of course, my morality is no mere facade, not like these other adventurers. Mine is a true shining light'
'Really? Have you not seen all those statues of the 'Great Adventuring Men', the ones who save cities and slay dragons and rescue princesses? Nobody ever minded if they intimidated a poor shopkeeper to get cheaper prices, or tried to seduce half the world, stole everything they saw, or even sold their souls to demon lords! To be a hero, one simply must appear to be one, kill the right amount of orcs and keep your armour shiny. And, of course, keep declaring yourself to be both Lawful and Good. That is how to be socially acceptable, dear fellow. Of course, my morality is no mere facade, not like these other adventurers. Mine is a true shining light'
"Actually, they did mind. My people were typically on the losing side of most of those confrontations, and even though history is written by the winners, we don't forget easily. When discussing the term 'hero,' there is a significant difference between dissection and vivisection, a distinction that appears to be lost on you."
'Confrontations? Dissection? Vivisection? Distinction? Did you swallow a dictionary?'
"I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you were supposed to be enlightened. My apologies, I'll put it in phrasings that even your uneducated mind can understand: the people you think are heroes all suck. I know this because my people were harassed by them for hundreds of years at this point. We don't forgive you or them."
'What do you mean, I'm not enlightened? I am a follower of the Lady of Peace, who teaches about love, humility, temperance *hiccups* and pacifism! How are those not noble goals?'
'What do you mean, I'm not enlightened? I am a follower of the Lady of Peace, who teaches about love, humility, temperance *hiccups* and pacifism! How are those not noble goals?'
"It's your execution, or more accurately, failure thereof, that removes their nobility. If I said that I would feed the poor, and gave them nothing but sand mixed with poison, would that be noble? Actually, speaking of failed executions, come outside for a moment. I assume you know the Death Ward spell?"
'Of course I know the Death Ward spell. I know almost everything there is to know about spellcasting. Why?'
He goes outside with him
"Cast it."
Suddenly, the monochrome man is no longer a man. He is a gargantuan black shadow dragon. He pauses for about six seconds, enough time to cast Death Ward, then blasts Francis with a beam of bilious umbra.
"I don't like you. You likely haven't done a good thing in your life, hiding your foul intentions behind a paper-thin facade of righteousness. Now tell me, is what I did evil? And once you answer that question, answer me this one: if I did that to an orc with the exact same religion as you, would you say it was a good thing?"
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Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
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'The shadowfell? Interesting... I slayed a whole army of heretics last time I went there. Nothing better than the spilling of a little blood in the name of the Lady of Peace'
*Is my character of the extremely hypocritical cleric cliche enough?*
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
*I think so.*
"Yes, well, maybe what is heresy to you is just normal practices to them, and vice versa. The primary deities worshipped there are Shar, the Raven Queen, and Orcus, so it may have seemed like you were deliberately stepping on toes."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'Deliberately stepping on toes? Some toes deserve to be stepped on, do you not think? Those of the wicked, and greedy, and vain, who do not live with Holiness and Righteousness? Values which, of course, I am a veritable beacon of'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"Yes, actually. For example..."
Erebus steps on Francis' foot, crushing it instantly with his full weight.
*Ancient shadow dragon in "disguise."*
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'Hey, what did you do that for? I'm not Wicked, or Greedy, or Vain! I'm Lawful Good! Look, it even says so on my character sheet!'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"You're a cleric. Heal yourself. You have literally shown that you are all of those things other than lawful good within the thirty seconds I've known you for."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'But, I just did what any adventuring hero would do? If there was something wrong with theft and murder and the like, well, why would it still be considered socially acceptable?'
*cleric character sheet 'I am sworn to pacifism and the teachings of my religion', cleric actually 'I butcher the inhabitants of the town and loot the whole place''*
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"Well, maybe this place is different, but those things are actually the opposite of socially acceptable where I'm from. I myself would be skewered to a wall covered in rotting corpses and left to hang until I died if I did anything like what you are claiming to be proud of."
*I am literally going to eat this man.*
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'Really? Have you not seen all those statues of the 'Great Adventuring Men', the ones who save cities and slay dragons and rescue princesses? Nobody ever minded if they intimidated a poor shopkeeper to get cheaper prices, or tried to seduce half the world, stole everything they saw, or even sold their souls to demon lords! To be a hero, one simply must appear to be one, kill the right amount of orcs and keep your armour shiny. And, of course, keep declaring yourself to be both Lawful and Good. That is how to be socially acceptable, dear fellow. Of course, my morality is no mere facade, not like these other adventurers. Mine is a true shining light'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"Actually, they did mind. My people were typically on the losing side of most of those confrontations, and even though history is written by the winners, we don't forget easily. When discussing the term 'hero,' there is a significant difference between dissection and vivisection, a distinction that appears to be lost on you."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'Confrontations? Dissection? Vivisection? Distinction? Did you swallow a dictionary?'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you were supposed to be enlightened. My apologies, I'll put it in phrasings that even your uneducated mind can understand: the people you think are heroes all suck. I know this because my people were harassed by them for hundreds of years at this point. We don't forgive you or them."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'What do you mean, I'm not enlightened? I am a follower of the Lady of Peace, who teaches about love, humility, temperance *hiccups* and pacifism! How are those not noble goals?'
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"It's your execution, or more accurately, failure thereof, that removes their nobility. If I said that I would feed the poor, and gave them nothing but sand mixed with poison, would that be noble? Actually, speaking of failed executions, come outside for a moment. I assume you know the Death Ward spell?"
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
'Of course I know the Death Ward spell. I know almost everything there is to know about spellcasting. Why?'
He goes outside with him
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"Cast it."
Suddenly, the monochrome man is no longer a man. He is a gargantuan black shadow dragon. He pauses for about six seconds, enough time to cast Death Ward, then blasts Francis with a beam of bilious umbra.
64 Necrotic damage, Dex save for half.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
7
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
It hurts a lot.
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!
Francis doubles over in pain, his armour completely shattered
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature Musk Sucks, Quit X!
"I don't like you. You likely haven't done a good thing in your life, hiding your foul intentions behind a paper-thin facade of righteousness. Now tell me, is what I did evil? And once you answer that question, answer me this one: if I did that to an orc with the exact same religion as you, would you say it was a good thing?"
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Forever burdenless and terminally live!