Slopnik, now self-established as mayor of the town, is rewriting zoning laws in the town hall. It seems he just wants to build a restaurant nearby and is making sure he can do everything he wants.
Talon sighs, walking up to Slopnik. "Hey there. Stop rewriting the rules."
He looks up, then turns his big red nose back down to the page. "You should have stopped me before I took over. The only resistance I experienced was a single fey, and he was no hero. Strong, but his faith was lacking."
He looks confused. "Excuse me, what?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. "Well, I don't care what happened, you're causing trouble."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
He leans over the desk. It's too small for him, like the rest of the office. "Oh. Hello. Do you have any issues that need to be addressed, or are you perhaps here to welcome me into this esteemed position? Either way, you are welcome so long as you don't hurt anyone."
"... (GP) you, you little (GP) (GP) (GP)."
He reaches under his desk and pulls out a fire axe, slamming it into the floor beside the cat. He settles back down, turning back to his documents. "Language. Curses rarely communicate more than normal words can."
He looks up, then turns his big red nose back down to the page. "You should have stopped me before I took over. The only resistance I experienced was a single fey, and he was no hero. Strong, but his faith was lacking."
He looks confused. "Excuse me, what?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. "Well, I don't care what happened, you're causing trouble."
"Yes." He stands to his full height, his hat crushed against the ceiling. "So stop me. And don't threaten to kill me, that's boring. A battle of wills, that's all I ask. Wits, charisma, anything. I'll leave, and I'll set everything back the way I found it. Challenge me."
He looks up, then turns his big red nose back down to the page. "You should have stopped me before I took over. The only resistance I experienced was a single fey, and he was no hero. Strong, but his faith was lacking."
He looks confused. "Excuse me, what?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. "Well, I don't care what happened, you're causing trouble."
"Yes." He stands to his full height, his hat crushed against the ceiling. "So stop me. And don't threaten to kill me, that's boring. A battle of wills, that's all I ask. Wits, charisma, anything. I'll leave, and I'll set everything back the way I found it. Challenge me."
"I'm... really confused. Can you tell me what's going on?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
"Yes." He stands to his full height, his hat crushed against the ceiling. "So stop me. And don't threaten to kill me, that's boring. A battle of wills, that's all I ask. Wits, charisma, anything. I'll leave, and I'll set everything back the way I found it. Challenge me."
"I'm... really confused. Can you tell me what's going on?"
He starts to pace, every footstep rattling the room. "So, I'm a villain. That means I cause disruption. I mess with things. Sometimes it's for other people, sometimes its for myself. My counterpart, a hero, is nowhere to be found. Most of the people here are just... not willing to entertain my brand of evil. They assume that because I don't hurt anyone that they can just ignore me, or that because I can fight means that I will. So, all I'm asking is that you take the time to play with me, and I'll be satisfied. I will be back in a while, though, because a hero isn't a hero with just one day saved, nor is a villain really a villain if they give up after one failure."
"Impressive!" He golf claps. "You must have been incredibly blessed to be born as such. I don't know much about Marids, I'm afraid."
"most of my people are far southeast of here. we're the spirits of oases and rain"
"Ah! Makes sense that I haven't seen any of your kind before! I live in the mountains a bit East of here. Perhaps I should visit at some point." He holds out his hand to shake, then hesitantly puts it away. "I don't quite know the etiquette of your people, so perhaps I should study up before I make the trip."
"it is..... reccommended"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pronouns: Any/All
About Me: Godless monster in human form bent on extending their natural life to unnatural extremes/ general of the goose horde/ holder of the evil storyteller badge of no honor/ king of madness / The FBI/ The Tele-Visionary/ The Pawless Wizard/ The Infinite Fractal/ The Archmage of I CAST...!
"Ah! Makes sense that I haven't seen any of your kind before! I live in the mountains a bit East of here. Perhaps I should visit at some point." He holds out his hand to shake, then hesitantly puts it away. "I don't quite know the etiquette of your people, so perhaps I should study up before I make the trip."
"it is..... reccommended"
"Yes... thank you. Actually, maybe I should stay here. I prefer the cold to the heat, I hope you understand." He picks up the book from the floor. "So, why accost me thus?"
He leans over the desk. It's too small for him, like the rest of the office. "Oh. Hello. Do you have any issues that need to be addressed, or are you perhaps here to welcome me into this esteemed position? Either way, you are welcome so long as you don't hurt anyone."
"... (GP) you, you little (GP) (GP) (GP)."
He reaches under his desk and pulls out a fire axe, slamming it into the floor beside the cat. He settles back down, turning back to his documents. "Language. Curses rarely communicate more than normal words can."
"Curses are quite an effective way of comunicating! For example, if I turn you into a skunk, you'll know I don't like you!"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The clocks run out, too late to wake up. You're locked under this nightmare's thumb. Begging you hide and run.
"Yes." He stands to his full height, his hat crushed against the ceiling. "So stop me. And don't threaten to kill me, that's boring. A battle of wills, that's all I ask. Wits, charisma, anything. I'll leave, and I'll set everything back the way I found it. Challenge me."
"I'm... really confused. Can you tell me what's going on?"
He starts to pace, every footstep rattling the room. "So, I'm a villain. That means I cause disruption. I mess with things. Sometimes it's for other people, sometimes its for myself. My counterpart, a hero, is nowhere to be found. Most of the people here are just... not willing to entertain my brand of evil. They assume that because I don't hurt anyone that they can just ignore me, or that because I can fight means that I will. So, all I'm asking is that you take the time to play with me, and I'll be satisfied. I will be back in a while, though, because a hero isn't a hero with just one day saved, nor is a villain really a villain if they give up after one failure."
"So... you're doing nothing wrong and you expect people to be heroic? I don't know if you've noticed, but most of this town is filled with despicable people. The laws are the only thing keeping them in order."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
"Impressive!" He golf claps. "You must have been incredibly blessed to be born as such. I don't know much about Marids, I'm afraid."
"most of my people are far southeast of here. we're the spirits of oases and rain"
"Ah! Makes sense that I haven't seen any of your kind before! I live in the mountains a bit East of here. Perhaps I should visit at some point." He holds out his hand to shake, then hesitantly puts it away. "I don't quite know the etiquette of your people, so perhaps I should study up before I make the trip."
"it is..... reccommended"
*Hi Capatin!*
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
He reaches under his desk and pulls out a fire axe, slamming it into the floor beside the cat. He settles back down, turning back to his documents. "Language. Curses rarely communicate more than normal words can."
"Curses are quite an effective way of comunicating! For example, if I turn you into a skunk, you'll know I don't like you!"
He pauses his writing. "Huh. I can't disagree. I guess I meant swear words. I hadn't considered the fact that you were a witch." He sighs. "So, what's the problem?"
He starts to pace, every footstep rattling the room. "So, I'm a villain. That means I cause disruption. I mess with things. Sometimes it's for other people, sometimes its for myself. My counterpart, a hero, is nowhere to be found. Most of the people here are just... not willing to entertain my brand of evil. They assume that because I don't hurt anyone that they can just ignore me, or that because I can fight means that I will. So, all I'm asking is that you take the time to play with me, and I'll be satisfied. I will be back in a while, though, because a hero isn't a hero with just one day saved, nor is a villain really a villain if they give up after one failure."
"So... you're doing nothing wrong and you expect people to be heroic? I don't know if you've noticed, but most of this town is filled with despicable people. The laws are the only thing keeping them in order."
He stops. He turns his head to look at Talon. "Hm. I could force them to be good. It'd be difficult, but I'm confident I could get it done. I'm not here to ruin the rule of law, just to make it possible for me to build here. I've been denied access to basic infrastructure multiple times, which I think is offensive. Admittedly, this town lacks that infrastructure, but that's no excuse! Anyway, I'm trying to help. In a world of evil, the most villainous thing to do is good."
He reaches under his desk and pulls out a fire axe, slamming it into the floor beside the cat. He settles back down, turning back to his documents. "Language. Curses rarely communicate more than normal words can."
"Curses are quite an effective way of comunicating! For example, if I turn you into a skunk, you'll know I don't like you!"
He pauses his writing. "Huh. I can't disagree. I guess I meant swear words. I hadn't considered the fact that you were a witch." He sighs. "So, what's the problem?"
"... Right! Yeah. Ahem. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TAKING OVER OUR TOWN LIKE THIS?! WHY, IF I HAD ANY SAY, THEN WE WOULD BE BUSY FIGTING YOU OFF AND RIPPING OFF YOUR LIMBS TO FEED OUR NEW WITCHES WITH! THAT'S WHAT WE USUALY DO WITH RAIDERS LIKE YOU! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The clocks run out, too late to wake up. You're locked under this nightmare's thumb. Begging you hide and run.
He starts to pace, every footstep rattling the room. "So, I'm a villain. That means I cause disruption. I mess with things. Sometimes it's for other people, sometimes its for myself. My counterpart, a hero, is nowhere to be found. Most of the people here are just... not willing to entertain my brand of evil. They assume that because I don't hurt anyone that they can just ignore me, or that because I can fight means that I will. So, all I'm asking is that you take the time to play with me, and I'll be satisfied. I will be back in a while, though, because a hero isn't a hero with just one day saved, nor is a villain really a villain if they give up after one failure."
"So... you're doing nothing wrong and you expect people to be heroic? I don't know if you've noticed, but most of this town is filled with despicable people. The laws are the only thing keeping them in order."
He stops. He turns his head to look at Talon. "Hm. I could force them to be good. It'd be difficult, but I'm confident I could get it done. I'm not here to ruin the rule of law, just to make it possible for me to build here. I've been denied access to basic infrastructure multiple times, which I think is offensive. Admittedly, this town lacks that infrastructure, but that's no excuse! Anyway, I'm trying to help. In a world of evil, the most villainous thing to do is good."
*... Okay. Red flag. Free will is good. Uh oh. Literally all my characters are some sort of chaotic allignment, and what they do for fun isn't usually good. This is bad. Raise the alarm.*
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
The clocks run out, too late to wake up. You're locked under this nightmare's thumb. Begging you hide and run.
He starts to pace, every footstep rattling the room. "So, I'm a villain. That means I cause disruption. I mess with things. Sometimes it's for other people, sometimes its for myself. My counterpart, a hero, is nowhere to be found. Most of the people here are just... not willing to entertain my brand of evil. They assume that because I don't hurt anyone that they can just ignore me, or that because I can fight means that I will. So, all I'm asking is that you take the time to play with me, and I'll be satisfied. I will be back in a while, though, because a hero isn't a hero with just one day saved, nor is a villain really a villain if they give up after one failure."
"So... you're doing nothing wrong and you expect people to be heroic? I don't know if you've noticed, but most of this town is filled with despicable people. The laws are the only thing keeping them in order."
He stops. He turns his head to look at Talon. "Hm. I could force them to be good. It'd be difficult, but I'm confident I could get it done. I'm not here to ruin the rule of law, just to make it possible for me to build here. I've been denied access to basic infrastructure multiple times, which I think is offensive. Admittedly, this town lacks that infrastructure, but that's no excuse! Anyway, I'm trying to help. In a world of evil, the most villainous thing to do is good."
"Erm, alright. What will the council think about this?"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
He looks confused. "Excuse me, what?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. "Well, I don't care what happened, you're causing trouble."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"I'm... I'll be leaving now."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"... what is it you want... I can offer it to you..."
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
He reaches under his desk and pulls out a fire axe, slamming it into the floor beside the cat. He settles back down, turning back to his documents. "Language. Curses rarely communicate more than normal words can."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
"To leave."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"Yes." He stands to his full height, his hat crushed against the ceiling. "So stop me. And don't threaten to kill me, that's boring. A battle of wills, that's all I ask. Wits, charisma, anything. I'll leave, and I'll set everything back the way I found it. Challenge me."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
"I'm... really confused. Can you tell me what's going on?"
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
He starts to pace, every footstep rattling the room. "So, I'm a villain. That means I cause disruption. I mess with things. Sometimes it's for other people, sometimes its for myself. My counterpart, a hero, is nowhere to be found. Most of the people here are just... not willing to entertain my brand of evil. They assume that because I don't hurt anyone that they can just ignore me, or that because I can fight means that I will. So, all I'm asking is that you take the time to play with me, and I'll be satisfied. I will be back in a while, though, because a hero isn't a hero with just one day saved, nor is a villain really a villain if they give up after one failure."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
"it is..... reccommended"
Pronouns: Any/All
About Me: Godless monster in human form bent on extending their natural life to unnatural extremes/ general of the goose horde/ holder of the evil storyteller badge of no honor/ king of madness / The FBI/ The Tele-Visionary/ The Pawless Wizard/ The Infinite Fractal/ The Archmage of I CAST...!
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Currently rampaging through life
"Yes... thank you. Actually, maybe I should stay here. I prefer the cold to the heat, I hope you understand." He picks up the book from the floor. "So, why accost me thus?"
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
"Curses are quite an effective way of comunicating! For example, if I turn you into a skunk, you'll know I don't like you!"
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
"So... you're doing nothing wrong and you expect people to be heroic? I don't know if you've noticed, but most of this town is filled with despicable people. The laws are the only thing keeping them in order."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
*Hi Capatin!*
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
He pauses his writing. "Huh. I can't disagree. I guess I meant swear words. I hadn't considered the fact that you were a witch." He sighs. "So, what's the problem?"
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
He stops. He turns his head to look at Talon. "Hm. I could force them to be good. It'd be difficult, but I'm confident I could get it done. I'm not here to ruin the rule of law, just to make it possible for me to build here. I've been denied access to basic infrastructure multiple times, which I think is offensive. Admittedly, this town lacks that infrastructure, but that's no excuse! Anyway, I'm trying to help. In a world of evil, the most villainous thing to do is good."
Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Awake, impure, divine
Breathgiver of the Strugels
"... Right! Yeah. Ahem. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TAKING OVER OUR TOWN LIKE THIS?! WHY, IF I HAD ANY SAY, THEN WE WOULD BE BUSY FIGTING YOU OFF AND RIPPING OFF YOUR LIMBS TO FEED OUR NEW WITCHES WITH! THAT'S WHAT WE USUALY DO WITH RAIDERS LIKE YOU! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!"
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
*... Okay. Red flag. Free will is good. Uh oh. Literally all my characters are some sort of chaotic allignment, and what they do for fun isn't usually good. This is bad. Raise the alarm.*
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
"... I can offer you riches beyond your wildest dream... BRING THEM TO ME...."
The clocks run out, too late to wake up.
You're locked under this nightmare's thumb.
Begging you hide and run.
W H A T H A V E I B E C O M E ?
"You're creeping me out..."
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!
"Erm, alright. What will the council think about this?"
If I’m being annoying, tell me to shut up. Seriously. Just say “Bananer shut up.” And I will. For a few seconds!
Don’t listen to the folks down at Adohands. It’s good for me to overwork myself.
Professional idiot! Trans! Pansexual pancake! I am a minor so you will do none of that (GP) with me!
Extended Signature!