13-year-old fighter: "Do you have anything without alcohol?" Bartender: "Um, yes, if you don't mind not getting anything to drink." Fighter: *slaps forehead*
Ranger: "I slam my goblet into his face." DM: "You do three damage." Paladin: "Did the drink spill?" DM: "Yes, but --" Paladin: "I pick up a rag and start wiping the floor." Fighter: "We're in the middle of a fight!"
Bartender: "Stand back or I'll call the gods!" DM: "You can tell that he means 'guards.'" Paladin: "Is he drunk?" DM: "Of course he's drunk. Everyone in this town is drunk."
Context: Running Princes of the Apocalypse, the party came across the holes that were used to drown people (10ft hole filled with water, put person in, put large rock on top, person is then taken care of)
Halfling Sorcerer: Can I lick the water?
Me (DM): You want to lick the black, pungent, corpse water?
Sorcerer: Yes
Me: Alright, you are now poiso-
Sorcerer: I want to jump in the corpse water
Me: Um.. Alright, you get in and are floating on your back
Rest of party: *discussing ways that they can determine the depth of the hole*
Sorcerer: I want to swim down to find the bottom
The Sorcerer then proceeds to drown twice (they miraculously succeeded on the first batch of death saves), after the second time the Cleric holds onto a rope that the Fighter is holding (as to not fall in) and treads water for 36 seconds in game time to fish around for the dead body of the Sorcerer to cast Revivify. A suggestion was made by the Fighter to prod around in the water with his spear to aid in finding the body by attempting to skewer it, fortunately the party convinced him not to.
Paladin (OOC): "I'm not going to comment on your grammar." Bard (OOC): "Fine. The reason I'm rich is because their inheritances --" Paladin (OOC): "I'm still not going to comment on your grammar. Because it's still wrong. Oops, I guess I just commented on your grammar."
Paladin (OOC): "I'm not going to comment on your grammar." Bard (OOC): "Fine. The reason I'm rich is because their inheritances --" Paladin (OOC): "I'm still not going to comment on your grammar. Because it's still wrong. Oops, I guess I just commented on your grammar."
There's not enough context to tell, but I'm pretty sure the paladin is wrong.
Paladin (OOC): "I'm not going to comment on your grammar." Bard (OOC): "Fine. The reason I'm rich is because their inheritances --" Paladin (OOC): "I'm still not going to comment on your grammar. Because it's still wrong. Oops, I guess I just commented on your grammar."
There's not enough context to tell, but I'm pretty sure the paladin is wrong.
"Is the dagger still lodged in the foot?"
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she/her
Paladin (OOC): "You are infringing so many Eragon copyrights."
DM: "Shut up."
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she/her
"Drunk guards should have an AC penalty."
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she/her
13-year-old fighter: "Do you have anything without alcohol?"
Bartender: "Um, yes, if you don't mind not getting anything to drink."
Fighter: *slaps forehead*
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she/her
Ranger: "I slam my goblet into his face."
DM: "You do three damage."
Paladin: "Did the drink spill?"
DM: "Yes, but --"
Paladin: "I pick up a rag and start wiping the floor."
Fighter: "We're in the middle of a fight!"
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she/her
Bartender: "Stand back or I'll call the gods!"
DM: "You can tell that he means 'guards.'"
Paladin: "Is he drunk?"
DM: "Of course he's drunk. Everyone in this town is drunk."
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she/her
DM: "Well, yeah. Because --"
Paladin: "Because violence and gore. We know, [DM]."
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she/her
Ranger: "Why do you have a shovel?"
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she/her
It's holey water
Updog
Paladin (OOC): "I'm not going to comment on your grammar."
Bard (OOC): "Fine. The reason I'm rich is because their inheritances --"
Paladin (OOC): "I'm still not going to comment on your grammar. Because it's still wrong. Oops, I guess I just commented on your grammar."
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she/her
Bard: "Yes, I did just feed dried blood to a fey."
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she/her
Paladin: "So the custom here is to give the dead wine, ale and nicotine???"
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she/her
There's not enough context to tell, but I'm pretty sure the paladin is wrong.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
"Reason is because" is wrong.
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she/her
DM: "Blood and other unknown liquids spill from the --" *rest of description is drowned out by screaming players*
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she/her
Bard: "I just want to know: did they sneak alcohol into the ginger water?"
DM: "Yes."
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she/her
Paladin (OOC): "So wait, you just stuffed the lute in your backpack?"
Bard (OOC): "Yeah. It's not gonna break; it's 100 GP!"
Paladin (OOC): "More fragile instruments cost more."
Bard (OOC): "Lies."
(In the original post, the paladin's second line was "more expensive instruments cost more," but that was a typo.)
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she/her
Bard: "Is there any meat on the bone?"
DM: "No."
Bard: "Maybe my fox can eat the bone marrow..."
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she/her
Paladin (OOC): "Am I going to wake up, or am I going to die? And shouldn't there be ... another option?"
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DM: "A bloated ghoul, eating what is left of a human. Which is an arm. A bloody arm. A very, very bloody arm."
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her