Why. Why the bean puns. WHY THE BEEEEAAAAANNNNNSSSSSS! (This post has been made by the doesn’t enjoy beans gang)
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
(The beans were part of a running joke in the campaign. I had once accidentally said "grow animals" instead of "raise animals", and one of the players jokingly asked if they could buy chicken seeds. This grew into a whole thing wherein I created homebrew creatures that grow from beans: the dtürctkle. A duck with a turtle she'll that never grows bigger than the size of a duckling. Smol babies. They do need very specific conditions and care to grow, but the cuteness overload is worth it!)
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- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
It appears that these jokes have bean annoying people, so can we STOP?!?!?
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Alright, alright, I'll stop. Though, I really don't get why other people can't have fun, especially when there is a mute function to stop receiving notifications from certain threads.
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- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Oh, sorry! Thats probably my fault, since I'm an aspie and can't tell the difference between joking and seriousness, lol. Anyway, it's all bean cleared up now!
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- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
And now I’m dry of bean puns, so back to funny quotes!
Talking about the NPCs in my campaign:
half elf: ”she’s a NEKU, for Pete’s sake! How does she have a GIRLFRIEND! NOONE LOVES CAT PEOPLE!”
the human who in their backstory grew up with some tabaxi: “well, now, hold on, we don’t wanna start a whole riot now.”
me, the dm, actually remembering the fact that the party is still next to the NPCs that they are talking about: “Am I gonna have you roll initiative again! You watch anime, for god’s sake! Why do you hate the NPCs that I came up with because you think they are a neku! ITS A LEGITIMATE GAME SPECIES!”
so now the running joke is that this character hates all tabaxi and relatives of tabaxi because “nekus”
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
My friend apparently. But they have 4 cats at their house 🤔 I think they just watch too much anime to like people with cat ears and tails and fur.
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Technically, all humans have fur. That peach fuzz on your face? Hair on your arms and legs? Fur. Mind you, it is far different from the fur of say, a dog, but all mammals have some form of fur suited to their needs. Humans "fur" just so happens to be extremely thin and sparse, and grows short. Genetics play a roll in it, too. Some people are naturally going to grow more hair than others, and some to the point of being considered "hairy". This is more common in cold climates, though mutation can cause it to happen to anyone. All humans are animals, and will this display animalistic traits.
Likely, you've heard about the scientific breakthrough regarding whales' pseudo-legs that have disappeared over time. Whales still have leg bones in their bodies, but are unable to use them. They just kinda exist. It's the same way for humans and tails! Our ancestors used to have tails, though the trait solwly disappeared as we grew more and more bipedal. The tails never fully went away, though! Humans have partial tail bones within their bodies!
As for ears, well, that's an easy one! Scientific evidence strongly suggests that every organism in the world shares a common ancestor at some point. So yourself are related to everything around you! You share dna with every bug, every plant, every dog on the street! Due to this, it's hard to determine what the flora and fauna may have looked like long ago, especially because so many specimines are lost on a dialy basis. It is possible that at one point, early hominids had pivoting ears like that of a cat!
In conclusion, in a fantasy setting, the past can easily colide with the present. That tabaxi playing music in the bar? Maybe they are a representation of what humans may have looked like billions of years ago. Elves? Prehaps they are a sub-species of human, adapted to better thrive in their enviroment. This theory is also supported by the existence of drow, who have evolutionarily grown accustomed to life underground. So maybe, just maybe, "nekus" in the dnd world, and in the world of all media, aren't a trope, but rather an expression of evolutionary advantage. I mean, if you always had goblins chasing you, wouldn't you want to have the keen hearing of a cat?
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- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I mean, well, I, guess? How much thought did you put into this?????
aarakockra blood hunter: “so you are telling me that they’re gay?”
me: “A. Why does it matter? You brought up their relationship status in the first place! And B: 😒 noooooo.... they’re European” (if you get the joke, good)
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YESSS! THANK YOU! MY HUMOR IS NOT UNNAPRECIATED! (Cos the person I said it to did not get it, asked if I was making a racist remark, and then had me explain that entire joke and then play the song. Jeez, some people)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Me and the gang irl be like:
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
"Guys, interrogate the beans!"
*All players simultaneously, ooc, chanting* "Bean gang, bean gang, bean gang, bean gang, Bean. Gang. Bean gang! (continues)"
"Forget the princess, save the beans!"
Many other bean comments were made. What did I get myself into...
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
"This campaign is more of a dumpster fire than the year 2020."
Truer words have never bean spoken.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Why. Why the bean puns. WHY THE BEEEEAAAAANNNNNSSSSSS! (This post has been made by the doesn’t enjoy beans gang)
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Because magick beans, that's why.
(The beans were part of a running joke in the campaign. I had once accidentally said "grow animals" instead of "raise animals", and one of the players jokingly asked if they could buy chicken seeds. This grew into a whole thing wherein I created homebrew creatures that grow from beans: the dtürctkle. A duck with a turtle she'll that never grows bigger than the size of a duckling. Smol babies. They do need very specific conditions and care to grow, but the cuteness overload is worth it!)
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I have never bean laughing so hard.
-Anders
I'm glad that I'd bean there to make you laugh! :D
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
Can you leave me alone. I've bean trying to do something for the past 30 minutes.
There is no dawn after eternal night.
Homebrew: Magic items, Subclasses
It appears that these jokes have bean annoying people, so can we STOP?!?!?
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Alright, alright, I'll stop. Though, I really don't get why other people can't have fun, especially when there is a mute function to stop receiving notifications from certain threads.
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I was bean humorous. And failing. *dies*
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Oh, sorry! Thats probably my fault, since I'm an aspie and can't tell the difference between joking and seriousness, lol. Anyway, it's all bean cleared up now!
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
And now I’m dry of bean puns, so back to funny quotes!
Talking about the NPCs in my campaign:
half elf: ”she’s a NEKU, for Pete’s sake! How does she have a GIRLFRIEND! NOONE LOVES CAT PEOPLE!”
the human who in their backstory grew up with some tabaxi: “well, now, hold on, we don’t wanna start a whole riot now.”
me, the dm, actually remembering the fact that the party is still next to the NPCs that they are talking about: “Am I gonna have you roll initiative again! You watch anime, for god’s sake! Why do you hate the NPCs that I came up with because you think they are a neku! ITS A LEGITIMATE GAME SPECIES!”
so now the running joke is that this character hates all tabaxi and relatives of tabaxi because “nekus”
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Me, a crazy cat person that has, like, 5 cats and some stray visitor at this point: "I sense evil about! Who dares hate the kitties!"
Edit: Flipping autocarrot
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
My friend apparently. But they have 4 cats at their house 🤔 I think they just watch too much anime to like people with cat ears and tails and fur.
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Well, time to absolutely break their brain!
Technically, all humans have fur. That peach fuzz on your face? Hair on your arms and legs? Fur. Mind you, it is far different from the fur of say, a dog, but all mammals have some form of fur suited to their needs. Humans "fur" just so happens to be extremely thin and sparse, and grows short. Genetics play a roll in it, too. Some people are naturally going to grow more hair than others, and some to the point of being considered "hairy". This is more common in cold climates, though mutation can cause it to happen to anyone. All humans are animals, and will this display animalistic traits.
Likely, you've heard about the scientific breakthrough regarding whales' pseudo-legs that have disappeared over time. Whales still have leg bones in their bodies, but are unable to use them. They just kinda exist. It's the same way for humans and tails! Our ancestors used to have tails, though the trait solwly disappeared as we grew more and more bipedal. The tails never fully went away, though! Humans have partial tail bones within their bodies!
As for ears, well, that's an easy one! Scientific evidence strongly suggests that every organism in the world shares a common ancestor at some point. So yourself are related to everything around you! You share dna with every bug, every plant, every dog on the street! Due to this, it's hard to determine what the flora and fauna may have looked like long ago, especially because so many specimines are lost on a dialy basis. It is possible that at one point, early hominids had pivoting ears like that of a cat!
In conclusion, in a fantasy setting, the past can easily colide with the present. That tabaxi playing music in the bar? Maybe they are a representation of what humans may have looked like billions of years ago. Elves? Prehaps they are a sub-species of human, adapted to better thrive in their enviroment. This theory is also supported by the existence of drow, who have evolutionarily grown accustomed to life underground. So maybe, just maybe, "nekus" in the dnd world, and in the world of all media, aren't a trope, but rather an expression of evolutionary advantage. I mean, if you always had goblins chasing you, wouldn't you want to have the keen hearing of a cat?
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
I mean, well, I, guess? How much thought did you put into this?????
aarakockra blood hunter: “so you are telling me that they’re gay?”
me: “A. Why does it matter? You brought up their relationship status in the first place! And B: 😒 noooooo.... they’re European” (if you get the joke, good)
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
(Way too much, lmao. I have nothing better to do XD)
"I'm straight!"
"You were not yesterday! So if I may, I'm proud to say... He's gayyyy! (And European!) He's gay! (And European!) He's gay-"
"Okay fine I'm gay!"
"Hoorayyyyyyyyyy!"
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YESSS! THANK YOU! MY HUMOR IS NOT UNNAPRECIATED! (Cos the person I said it to did not get it, asked if I was making a racist remark, and then had me explain that entire joke and then play the song. Jeez, some people)
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Literally the only reason I know that song is from the "does Jumin Han is gay?" meme, lmao
- With all due respects, your friendly neighbourhood alchemist