Ranger: we need to incapacitate the goblin leader. We need to interrogate him for info.
blood-hunter:I roll to shoot the goblin.
me, the dm: uuuum, do you want to incapacitate or kill?
blood hunter: kill. *rolls a 20*
me: well, um, you kill the goblin that I had named and had a personality for, and your only source of info on what you were walking into. Congratulations, your screwed.
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
"That's only two." "What did I say?" "You said you had 'several'." "Two is several."
"I cast Presti... Prestidge... Prestidigitation."
"That's a gem." "What did I say?" "You said it's an 'orb'." "A gem can be an orb."
Paladin (some kind of good): "I can heal you." Warlock (some kind of evil): "I rather you didn't." Paladin: "Beggars can't be choosers." Warlock: "Fine." Paladin: "I call upon my deity, place my hand, and cast Cure Wounds." Warlock: "Ick. I feel dirty."
"You mean Feather Fall." "What did I say?" "'Feather Flight.'" "Feathers can fly."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Our Rogue was discussing what he was going to do after entering the city ahead that was described as having many paladins and a strong good temple culture.
Rogue: "I'm just going to look around to see if there is anything I like, y'know."
Bard: "<Rogue Name>, take a look at your hands."
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Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
At the beginning of the session, Barbarian is awoken ally doppleganger
Doppleganger: Hey Hogar, have you seen my wife??
Barbarian: No... why? What's wrong?
Doppleganger: IT'S PRANK WEEK!!
Barbarian: NOT PRANK WEEK!!! I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
*Big strong barbarian's face goes pale, as he remembers the last time he got pranked by the archfey warlock. And immediately, gets up to warn his new friend the rogue, who doesnt know about prank week*
Paladin (of uncertain alignment): Have I lied to you? Everyone else: Yes! Paladin: I mean today. Warlock: Still, yes.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
That reminds me of something in my previous campaign where my Goblin Bard somehow ended up being the one to talk to the guards after turning in a wanted criminal.
so my friend was playing a cleric for the first time, and his favourite spell was sacred flame.
we had just cleared a dungeon looking for this halfling called jonathan jest who had been involved in orc trafficking and selling orc slaves. we finally caught up to him with his son, alexstracza, and we confronted him. the half orc barbarian, consumed by rage, cuts jest's head open with an axe. theres a long moment while the son cries and the DM tells the barbarian about how sad he is for his people, and how we're all just quiet and contemplating whats just happened. then the cleric turns to the son, points to his father's body and says:
'do you want him cremated now or later'
he did the same thing when my character died.
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One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
The party that I DM for is starting its second adventure. In the first adventure, they saves two nations from a plague by stealing the cure from an enemy nation. Now they're sailing across the sea to accomplish a new mission. They decided they needed a crew name, and they settled on The Plague Dock-ters.
My party named themselves Lick the Rock after I used Presdigitation to flavor a small stone like sugar and gave it to an NPC child. She said "wow, you really know how to do magic!"
The party that I DM for is starting its second adventure. In the first adventure, they saves two nations from a plague by stealing the cure from an enemy nation. Now they're sailing across the sea to accomplish a new mission. They decided they needed a crew name, and they settled on The Plague Dock-ters.
My party named themselves Lick the Rock after I used Presdigitation to flavor a small stone like sugar and gave it to an NPC child. She said "wow, you really know how to do magic!"
LOL
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Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
My most recent character is a goblin bandit who got his wild magic sorcerer powers through a wild trip through the multiverse. My opening was this:
"my character is telling the (slightly bored) bartender how he got his magic '...so there I was, standing off against the third hooker mummy, with nothing but a leopard seal skull to defend myself when I remembered the rune I have that summons an adamantine chicken...'"
elf rouge, drunk, to the half tabaxi: "Greetings darling, rarely have a met a woman so down to earth yet so purrfect."
the tabaxi: “Moons, can you be less original?”
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
More of a story, but the most excited I've ever seen a fellow player was when a third player rolled the love interest option on the carousing table. The reason he was so excited: the woman was a dragonborn, which meant that he could do finally make an arrow to the knee joke
OOC: Any one person: "Snacks?" Everyone else: "Snacks!" (...and snacks are had IRL.)
IC: Any one character: [any phrase with the word "snacks" in it] Everyone else: "Snacks!" (...and snacks are had IRL.)
It's a trained response.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The party has just rescued a sorceress whose skin was blue. The halfling ranger asked why she was blue. The sorceress's dad answered that she wasn't born that way, but that this was the second time that happened. The entire party simultaneously responded...
"The second time!?"
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Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
Also, the bard said to the ranger, "You can't just ask people why they're blue!"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
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Ranger: we need to incapacitate the goblin leader. We need to interrogate him for info.
blood-hunter:I roll to shoot the goblin.
me, the dm: uuuum, do you want to incapacitate or kill?
blood hunter: kill. *rolls a 20*
me: well, um, you kill the goblin that I had named and had a personality for, and your only source of info on what you were walking into. Congratulations, your screwed.
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
"Would you not trust someone's parasitic twin?"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
"That's only two."
"What did I say?"
"You said you had 'several'."
"Two is several."
"I cast Presti... Prestidge... Prestidigitation."
"That's a gem."
"What did I say?"
"You said it's an 'orb'."
"A gem can be an orb."
Paladin (some kind of good): "I can heal you."
Warlock (some kind of evil): "I rather you didn't."
Paladin: "Beggars can't be choosers."
Warlock: "Fine."
Paladin: "I call upon my deity, place my hand, and cast Cure Wounds."
Warlock: "Ick. I feel dirty."
"You mean Feather Fall."
"What did I say?"
"'Feather Flight.'"
"Feathers can fly."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Our Rogue was discussing what he was going to do after entering the city ahead that was described as having many paladins and a strong good temple culture.
Rogue: "I'm just going to look around to see if there is anything I like, y'know."
Bard: "<Rogue Name>, take a look at your hands."
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
At the beginning of the session, Barbarian is awoken ally doppleganger
Doppleganger: Hey Hogar, have you seen my wife??
Barbarian: No... why? What's wrong?
Doppleganger: IT'S PRANK WEEK!!
Barbarian: NOT PRANK WEEK!!! I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
*Big strong barbarian's face goes pale, as he remembers the last time he got pranked by the archfey warlock. And immediately, gets up to warn his new friend the rogue, who doesnt know about prank week*
Time traveler introduced in game with time staff and time crystals to fuel his time travel.
Player 1 steals time crystals
Player 2 grabs staff and yanks it away
Player 3 grabs other end of the staff
Player 1 eats a time crystal he disappears, as he de-ages an amount of years greater than his is old. He is now negative 7 years old, and vanishes
Player 2 tries to yank the staff from player 3. Neither succeeds
Player 4 shoots the staff in the middle, splitting it in half.
Everyone in the room has some strange time-shifting effect happen to them, splitting them across the multiverse and through time.
Player 3 (who managed to stay in the same timeline): Crap, I guess the campaign's over.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Paladin (of uncertain alignment): Have I lied to you?
Everyone else: Yes!
Paladin: I mean today.
Warlock: Still, yes.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
That reminds me of something in my previous campaign where my Goblin Bard somehow ended up being the one to talk to the guards after turning in a wanted criminal.
*gets 50gp reward*
*returns to group*
Goblin Bard: Good news! They gave us 30 gold!
*insight checks from everyone in the party*
Watch Crits for Breakfast, an adults-only RP-Heavy Roll20 Livestream at twitch.tv/afterdisbooty
And now you too can play with the amazing art and assets we use in Roll20 for our campaign at Hazel's Emporium
volo: gives tavern
Character 1: sweet we can sell beer now
Character 2: no my mum won't let me talk about beer
Character 1: oh great we have a tavern selling kombucha now.
tavern becomes number 1 in town
Head Sorcerer and creator of the worshippers of Levi Rocks
so my friend was playing a cleric for the first time, and his favourite spell was sacred flame.
we had just cleared a dungeon looking for this halfling called jonathan jest who had been involved in orc trafficking and selling orc slaves. we finally caught up to him with his son, alexstracza, and we confronted him. the half orc barbarian, consumed by rage, cuts jest's head open with an axe. theres a long moment while the son cries and the DM tells the barbarian about how sad he is for his people, and how we're all just quiet and contemplating whats just happened. then the cleric turns to the son, points to his father's body and says:
'do you want him cremated now or later'
he did the same thing when my character died.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
My party named themselves Lick the Rock after I used Presdigitation to flavor a small stone like sugar and gave it to an NPC child. She said "wow, you really know how to do magic!"
LOL
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
“I didn’t realize I was a terrorist!” - Half Dragon, half Aarakocra Sorcadin
Said while buying 50 sticks of dynamite
My most recent character is a goblin bandit who got his wild magic sorcerer powers through a wild trip through the multiverse. My opening was this:
"my character is telling the (slightly bored) bartender how he got his magic '...so there I was, standing off against the third hooker mummy, with nothing but a leopard seal skull to defend myself when I remembered the rune I have that summons an adamantine chicken...'"
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
Well, this happened not 20 mins ago:
elf rouge, drunk, to the half tabaxi: "Greetings darling, rarely have a met a woman so down to earth yet so purrfect."
the tabaxi: “Moons, can you be less original?”
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Our Eldritch Knight:
"See?! The manticore can't kill you if you get it in a headlock!"
He was the only one of us who didn't take damage that fight.
...and there were THREE manticores.
More of a story, but the most excited I've ever seen a fellow player was when a third player rolled the love interest option on the carousing table. The reason he was so excited: the woman was a dragonborn, which meant that he could do finally make an arrow to the knee joke
I exist, and I guess so does this
OOC:
Any one person: "Snacks?"
Everyone else: "Snacks!"
(...and snacks are had IRL.)
IC:
Any one character: [any phrase with the word "snacks" in it]
Everyone else: "Snacks!"
(...and snacks are had IRL.)
It's a trained response.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The party has just rescued a sorceress whose skin was blue. The halfling ranger asked why she was blue. The sorceress's dad answered that she wasn't born that way, but that this was the second time that happened. The entire party simultaneously responded...
"The second time!?"
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
Also, the bard said to the ranger, "You can't just ask people why they're blue!"
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.