Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This session was filler while I was waiting for some of the more important arcs to cool down. I had intended this to be a creepy, horror-tinged session, but those dreams were squashed pretty quickly.
(Background: The Blood Hunter and the Cleric have mutual feelings for each other, but haven't told each other. They're on a walk, but are currently sitting on top of a building) Giovanni (Blood Hunter): (Sits on a roof on a gorgeous night watching a beautiful sunset with his crush) Also Giovanni: "So. You know how I plucked out that guy's eyeball." Lori (Cleric): "Yeah, it was gross and weird, and it brought back bad memories. So I chucked it in the ocean." Giovanni: "WHAT!" Lori: "It's getting dark, I'm gonna leave now."
Gio: "Okay. So we landed in a strange but friendly place in a storm. This place is ruled by a powerful wizard who no one has actually seen, and now we're going down the road to his castle, and we just recruited a man missing his memory. Quick, everyone look around for a warforged, probably an inanimate one!"
Gio: I go up to the castle. Me: Alright, do you approach the door. Gio: Are there any windows? Me: Yeah, but they're higher up. Gio: Alright, hey Mariz, [Air Genasi Warlock], can you cast levitate on me? Me: You sure you don't just want to use the door like a NORMAL. PERSON! THERE'S NO GUARDS! NO TRAPS! USE. THE. DOOR! Gio: I make an arcana check. Is the door being watched. Me: Everything's being watched. Gio: Okay, I use the door then. Me: Alright, do you wait in front of it or do you just barge right in? Gio: I kick it in. Me: The door flies open and hits you in the face. Make a Dex Save. *he fails* Take 1 point of bludgeoning damage.
Me: So, while you're in the parlor, do you poke around? Gio: Yes. Me: The fireplace glows bright green, and becomes larger. Fireplace: YOU HAVE VIOLATED MY HOSPITALITY! I GIVE YOU THIS NICE SPACE, AND YOU ASSUME IT'S TRAPPED Gio: Look sorry man, I was just checking Fireplace: LEAVE NOW! *shoots fire bolt. Rolls 1 on damage. Gio, as a tiefling, takes no damage* Gio: ... is... is that it? Fireplace: *sigh* more or less. Look, how about this, you can stay here for an hour, then get out of this room. Party: *murmurs in agreement*
Me: You see a table covered in food Gio: I immediately reach for some cake Lori: I reach out to stop him. It could be poisonous Gio: I check for poison *rolls decently well* Me: It seems safe Lori: I still won't eat it. I don't trust it. Everyone else: I'll eat. Me: Okay. The food is magical. Everyone except Lori gains the benefits a long rest despite only eating for about an hour. Lori: Wait, I'm the cleric, I haven't taken any damage, and everything I have recharges on a long rest. *shrug* Eh, I stand by my decision
Me: As you finish your meal, the floor begins quaking. Baruuq (Aasimar Monk of the Four Elements): I use Elemental Attunement to make the shaking stop and go back to enjoying my meal.
Me: As you near the throne room, you are approached by a group of either guards or bandits, wearing black leather armor eblazone- Basically the Entire Party: We rush past them Me: ... The Party: We'll try to knock them over *party succeeds in outrunning the bandit guards* Me: But... but... b- *sad dungeon master noises*
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Long story short, the party had to pretend to be clerics carrying out an Inquisition style arrest of a prince who was currently on a ship.
Morrigan (Bard, pretending to be a particular cleric who is a bit of a goofy dude bro using Alter Self): I holler up at the middle ship. "Heeeeey! Hey guys! Guys! Down here?""
Me (the DM): As you approach the ships, a gruff looking, bearded man shouts from the quarterdeck in an irritated tone, "May I help you?"
Morrigan: Hey dude! We need to get on your boat! We're going witch hunting!
Me: "Excuse me?"
Morrigan: You're excused! Badum-tish!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
Party: You know, Dawn Shark is a pretty dumb name for a ship. We should come up with a new one. Me: Okay. What do you have? Party (after a few minutes): THE DRUNKEN REVENGE!
If you want some explanation, here you go, but it kind of ruins the joke.
While they were looking for a new name, I mentioned that I could always roll in Ghosts of Saltmarsh, and pointed out that Dawn Shark wasn't the worst they could have gotten. They could have gotten Beautiful Barnacle, or Fiery Flower, or Drunken Victory. Now I don't remember if I actually used the first two as examples, but I definitely used the last one, and they found that deeply amusing. They considered naming it that, but they quickly remembered that there is a ship named the HMS Victory in the universe run by probably the most hated NPC of this campaign. I suggested Drunken Success, but they decided that didn't have the same ring to it, so they combined the name with The Revenge, a suggestion that had been offered by the cleric's player earlier.
Interestingly, the Drunken Revenge is another name you could theoretically get out of GoS, but I didn't realize that until a couple days after the session.
The player's screaming " WE WANT TO ROB THE TOWN MASTER HALL, WE WANT TO ROB THE TOWN MASTER HALL, WE WANT TO ROB THE TOWN MASTER HALL SO GET OUT OF OUR WAY TOWN MASTER JERRY "
After they robbed the town master hall: " AWWW MAN WERE TRAPPED IN THE JAIL FOR WON DAY "
Another one was how i started our last adventure
DM: " Children Children Gather round i will tell you a story about a goblin blood baths in the river sound. Creatures eating people in the dead of night and hero's casting faulty spells and not being able to fight "
“The best way to defeat your enemy is to make them your friend.” - Penelope (oh Penelope, never change, even if it gets us into so much trouble)
“If there‘s one thing I know it’s that bats are nothing but dogs with wings, and all dogs love tummy scritches! So there you go, you have an air puppy!” - Freely
Totally agree with Penelope. Easier to catch them by surprise if they think you're a friend!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Baelnorn Lich: "I don't think you understand what being a lich is."
Envelope (Sorceress): "It's when you're a b*tch with an 'L'."
Baelnorn Lich: "...I want you to look deep into my eye sockets and say that again."
Envelope: (Slowly) "You are three mothmen stacked on top of each other in a robe, wearing stripper boots."
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Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
(we notice a raised platform in the corner of the dungeon)
Gaar (dragonborn barbarian, intelligence of 8): "I go over to the platform and kick it"
DM: Nothing happens.
Gaar: "I...stand on it"
DM: Nothing happens..
Gaar: "I DANCE on it"
DM: A pit of lava opens up beneath you and swallows you whole. Just kidding, NOTHING HAPPENS.
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"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
(OOC) DM: "Poison damage and the Poisoned condition aren't the same thing. The Poisoned condition itself doesn't do damage on its own. It's a lot like being drunk." Player: "Like a glass of water being drunk?" DM: "🤦♂️... (sarcasm) Yes, [Player]. That's exactly what it's like. Let me show you. Your character is Poisoned for the next 4 hours."
EDIT: From a stream... Player 3: "I sprint up to the bar and immediately order a drink!" DM: "Well... As you look around at the Interior of the pub, you see--" Player 3: "THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT!!"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
The rogue and druid are off chasing a red herring. The paladin, warlock and bard are left with the task to pick the lock to an office but roll terribly. Then the warlock and bard both use inspiration to re-roll, and the bard gets a nat 20.
DM: Oh, thank God. So basically, everyone is standing around going, "Eh, it's a door, and it's the right one, but it's locked." But [Bard] goes, "We should unlock it!" and the door just [makes a crashing sound] falls down because it is just that sort of adventure apparently.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Same game (Dungeon of the Mad Mage) as my last post, earlier session:
DM (Me): Okay, you killed the mimic that was pretending to be a golden statue, then you killed the one pretending to be a boat, then you killed the one pretending to be a section of the ground in the dungeon, another that was pretending to be a door, and finally, the most recent one, that was pretending to be a treasure hoard in the middle of a lake (I honestly have no idea how you didn't see that coming).
Player 1 (Paladin): I freaking hate mimics. Why does this dungeon have so many mimics?!?!
Player 2 (Rogue): Maybe it's a mimic?
(DM starts laughing and smirking)
Player 1: NO! It cannot be a mimic!
DM: The dungeon begins to laugh, and the walls start getting closer to you, with the walls now covered in a viscous liquid.
Player 2: Oh, crap.
Player 1: I guess we're dead.
DM: Suddenly, it stops. Halaster Blackcloak appears in front of you, laughing like a madman, and then disappears while waving his hand.
(Halaster heard the suggestion, and decided to freak them out, using his abilities of controlling the dungeon to make it seem like the dungeon was a mimic.)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
(Trivia: It was commonplace at one time to live above the shop that the person owned.)
DM as furniture shopkeeper just woken up at 3AM: "Ugh. What do you want?" Everyone at once: "CHAIRS!!"
DM: You hear a window open up a few buildings down and one of his neighbors yells, "Shut up about chairs!" Rogue: YOU SHUT UP ABOUT CHAIRS!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
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That sounds like a quote from Puffin Forest.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Maybe it's a friendly Green Dragon. Puffy Greenscale, and I guess his estranged brother, Puff, were Green Dragons. Elliott was a Green Dragon, too.
(EDIT: Yes. That's Cmdr. BroShepard as Moonrod.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
A long time ago in a town far, far from where I am now...
Sorcerer: "I want a theme song, too."
(Paladin had a theme song)
DM: "I got one for you." *pulls up song on iPod"
(remember iPod kids?)
Sorcerer: "Sounds neat... Wait. That doesn't make sense for my character. That's the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy song."
(the old TV series)
DM: "What? No it's not."
(hasn't seen the show)
Sorcerer: *hums along* "Yes it is. It definitely is."
(loves the show so she should know)
DM: "No. It's Journey of the Sorcerer by the Eagles." [sic]
(loves Eagles so he should know)
Sorcerer: "Really?"
(doesn't listen to Eagles)
Trivia: They're the same song. (EDIT: H2G2 intro. Same part from original song.)
Trivia: It's just "Eagles", not "the Eagles".
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
This session was filler while I was waiting for some of the more important arcs to cool down. I had intended this to be a creepy, horror-tinged session, but those dreams were squashed pretty quickly.
(Background: The Blood Hunter and the Cleric have mutual feelings for each other, but haven't told each other. They're on a walk, but are currently sitting on top of a building)
Giovanni (Blood Hunter): (Sits on a roof on a gorgeous night watching a beautiful sunset with his crush)
Also Giovanni: "So. You know how I plucked out that guy's eyeball."
Lori (Cleric): "Yeah, it was gross and weird, and it brought back bad memories. So I chucked it in the ocean."
Giovanni: "WHAT!"
Lori: "It's getting dark, I'm gonna leave now."
Gio: "Okay. So we landed in a strange but friendly place in a storm. This place is ruled by a powerful wizard who no one has actually seen, and now we're going down the road to his castle, and we just recruited a man missing his memory. Quick, everyone look around for a warforged, probably an inanimate one!"
Gio: I go up to the castle.
Me: Alright, do you approach the door.
Gio: Are there any windows?
Me: Yeah, but they're higher up.
Gio: Alright, hey Mariz, [Air Genasi Warlock], can you cast levitate on me?
Me: You sure you don't just want to use the door like a NORMAL. PERSON! THERE'S NO GUARDS! NO TRAPS! USE. THE. DOOR!
Gio: I make an arcana check. Is the door being watched.
Me: Everything's being watched.
Gio: Okay, I use the door then.
Me: Alright, do you wait in front of it or do you just barge right in?
Gio: I kick it in.
Me: The door flies open and hits you in the face. Make a Dex Save. *he fails* Take 1 point of bludgeoning damage.
Me: So, while you're in the parlor, do you poke around?
Gio: Yes.
Me: The fireplace glows bright green, and becomes larger.
Fireplace: YOU HAVE VIOLATED MY HOSPITALITY! I GIVE YOU THIS NICE SPACE, AND YOU ASSUME IT'S TRAPPED
Gio: Look sorry man, I was just checking
Fireplace: LEAVE NOW! *shoots fire bolt. Rolls 1 on damage. Gio, as a tiefling, takes no damage*
Gio: ... is... is that it?
Fireplace: *sigh* more or less. Look, how about this, you can stay here for an hour, then get out of this room.
Party: *murmurs in agreement*
Me: You see a table covered in food
Gio: I immediately reach for some cake
Lori: I reach out to stop him. It could be poisonous
Gio: I check for poison *rolls decently well*
Me: It seems safe
Lori: I still won't eat it. I don't trust it.
Everyone else: I'll eat.
Me: Okay. The food is magical. Everyone except Lori gains the benefits a long rest despite only eating for about an hour.
Lori: Wait, I'm the cleric, I haven't taken any damage, and everything I have recharges on a long rest. *shrug* Eh, I stand by my decision
Me: As you finish your meal, the floor begins quaking.
Baruuq (Aasimar Monk of the Four Elements): I use Elemental Attunement to make the shaking stop and go back to enjoying my meal.
Me: As you near the throne room, you are approached by a group of either guards or bandits, wearing black leather armor eblazone-
Basically the Entire Party: We rush past them
Me: ...
The Party: We'll try to knock them over
*party succeeds in outrunning the bandit guards*
Me: But... but... b- *sad dungeon master noises*
Holly: "They might have more manpower, but we have something greater. We can work as one"
Me (Out of character): "The power of friendship."
I have no personality.
"Magic is stupid."
-later-
"Use your magic and help me!"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
"Who are you going to feed the children to, Siobhan?"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
Oops, forgot a pretty big one:
Party: You know, Dawn Shark is a pretty dumb name for a ship. We should come up with a new one.
Me: Okay. What do you have?
Party (after a few minutes): THE DRUNKEN REVENGE!
If you want some explanation, here you go, but it kind of ruins the joke.
While they were looking for a new name, I mentioned that I could always roll in Ghosts of Saltmarsh, and pointed out that Dawn Shark wasn't the worst they could have gotten. They could have gotten Beautiful Barnacle, or Fiery Flower, or Drunken Victory. Now I don't remember if I actually used the first two as examples, but I definitely used the last one, and they found that deeply amusing. They considered naming it that, but they quickly remembered that there is a ship named the HMS Victory in the universe run by probably the most hated NPC of this campaign. I suggested Drunken Success, but they decided that didn't have the same ring to it, so they combined the name with The Revenge, a suggestion that had been offered by the cleric's player earlier.
Interestingly, the Drunken Revenge is another name you could theoretically get out of GoS, but I didn't realize that until a couple days after the session.
The player's screaming " WE WANT TO ROB THE TOWN MASTER HALL, WE WANT TO ROB THE TOWN MASTER HALL, WE WANT TO ROB THE TOWN MASTER HALL SO GET OUT OF OUR WAY TOWN MASTER JERRY "
After they robbed the town master hall: " AWWW MAN WERE TRAPPED IN THE JAIL FOR WON DAY "
Another one was how i started our last adventure
DM: " Children Children Gather round i will tell you a story about a goblin blood baths in the river sound. Creatures eating people in the dead of night and hero's casting faulty spells and not being able to fight "
KNIGHT OF RANDOM
Halike Morgad the Dhampir fist of arlo
Sir strange one of the centaurs
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Insider“The best way to defeat your enemy is to make them your friend.” - Penelope (oh Penelope, never change, even if it gets us into so much trouble)
“If there‘s one thing I know it’s that bats are nothing but dogs with wings, and all dogs love tummy scritches! So there you go, you have an air puppy!” - Freely
Find me on Twitter: @OboeLauren
Totally agree with Penelope. Easier to catch them by surprise if they think you're a friend!
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Baelnorn Lich: "I don't think you understand what being a lich is."
Envelope (Sorceress): "It's when you're a b*tch with an 'L'."
Baelnorn Lich: "...I want you to look deep into my eye sockets and say that again."
Envelope: (Slowly) "You are three mothmen stacked on top of each other in a robe, wearing stripper boots."
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
(we notice a raised platform in the corner of the dungeon)
Gaar (dragonborn barbarian, intelligence of 8): "I go over to the platform and kick it"
DM: Nothing happens.
Gaar: "I...stand on it"
DM: Nothing happens..
Gaar: "I DANCE on it"
DM: A pit of lava opens up beneath you and swallows you whole. Just kidding, NOTHING HAPPENS.
"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
(OOC)
DM: "Poison damage and the Poisoned condition aren't the same thing. The Poisoned condition itself doesn't do damage on its own. It's a lot like being drunk."
Player: "Like a glass of water being drunk?"
DM: "🤦♂️... (sarcasm) Yes, [Player]. That's exactly what it's like. Let me show you. Your character is Poisoned for the next 4 hours."
EDIT: From a stream...
Player 3: "I sprint up to the bar and immediately order a drink!"
DM: "Well... As you look around at the Interior of the pub, you see--"
Player 3: "THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT!!"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
DM (Me): Well, you just killed Netherskull the Death Tyrant. What do you do? There are 3 hallways, and one cavern to the north.
Player 1 (Paladin who allowed himself to be possessed): I curse the ghost who possessed me, and ask it to leave.
DM: Okay, Fidelio leaves, giving you a Blessing of Protection.
Player 1: I don't want it!
DM: But. . .
Player 1: I. Don't. Freaking. Want. It.
DM: It gives you a permanent +1 to AC and all saving throws.
Player 1: (grumble) Ugh, fine. I guess I'll take the stupid blessing. I then yell "CURSE YOU FIDELIO THE POLTERGEIST!"
DM: You technically had no say in the matter, but okay. Fidelio says, "Goodbye, useless human!"
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
[From a stream]
The rogue and druid are off chasing a red herring. The paladin, warlock and bard are left with the task to pick the lock to an office but roll terribly. Then the warlock and bard both use inspiration to re-roll, and the bard gets a nat 20.
DM: Oh, thank God. So basically, everyone is standing around going, "Eh, it's a door, and it's the right one, but it's locked." But [Bard] goes, "We should unlock it!" and the door just [makes a crashing sound] falls down because it is just that sort of adventure apparently.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
From the same stream in JKCorfy's reply:
(Trivia: It was commonplace at one time to live above the shop that the person owned.)
DM as furniture shopkeeper just woken up at 3AM: "Ugh. What do you want?"
Everyone at once: "CHAIRS!!"
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Same game (Dungeon of the Mad Mage) as my last post, earlier session:
DM (Me): Okay, you killed the mimic that was pretending to be a golden statue, then you killed the one pretending to be a boat, then you killed the one pretending to be a section of the ground in the dungeon, another that was pretending to be a door, and finally, the most recent one, that was pretending to be a treasure hoard in the middle of a lake (I honestly have no idea how you didn't see that coming).
Player 1 (Paladin): I freaking hate mimics. Why does this dungeon have so many mimics?!?!
Player 2 (Rogue): Maybe it's a mimic?
(DM starts laughing and smirking)
Player 1: NO! It cannot be a mimic!
DM: The dungeon begins to laugh, and the walls start getting closer to you, with the walls now covered in a viscous liquid.
Player 2: Oh, crap.
Player 1: I guess we're dead.
DM: Suddenly, it stops. Halaster Blackcloak appears in front of you, laughing like a madman, and then disappears while waving his hand.
(Halaster heard the suggestion, and decided to freak them out, using his abilities of controlling the dungeon to make it seem like the dungeon was a mimic.)
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
DM: You hear a window open up a few buildings down and one of his neighbors yells, "Shut up about chairs!"
Rogue: YOU SHUT UP ABOUT CHAIRS!
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer