Okay this is from the last session. We were making our prison break, with 16 characters. 6 PCs, and 10 NPCs. My Goliath genie warlock had taken several arrows for one of the NPCs, a old Kua-toa, and was knocked unconscious by the poisoned arrows. In one turn.
Dm: now it is shuushar's turn. He's going to attempt pick you up. But he only has a +1, and you are about roughly 280 pounds, so he'll have to beat a DC18.
Me: Oh come on Shuushar
The DM rolled, and the NPC Nat20s.
Dm: Shuushar through heightened awareness, picks you up Tia, and starts running toward the bridge. He the sits down, and lays you on his lap, and says to you, "you saved my life, now I will save yours". As a single manly tear runs down his face.
Me: I'm just picturing a scene from Saving Private Ryan, or Forest Gump at that point. 'I HAVE TO SAVE TIIIAA!"
One character in particular: "I have an idea--" Everyone else in the party: "NO!!"
Rewatching a certain stream I mentioned here reminded me of that campaign back in AD&D. That campaign had 8 players (9 originally, but my character kicked the thimble early on). I feel that's too many - I find 4-6 to be better so everyone's story gets to be part of the bigger story rather than everyone clamoring for their character to have some importance, but how one of the 8 rose to infamy for the worst ideas is a funny moment I had forgotten.
(The stream I mentioned is where the [most likely] CE character told, "I love it when you have ideas," to a very short-sighted CG character.)
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Me, the DM, after the Druid had, erm, "nighttime liaisons" with a dryad during a long rest: "The dark of night fades as the sun rises, marking the coming of a new...day...I...just, now realized what I said right as I was saying it..."
I made a character based on Daniel Day Lewis's character in "Gangs of New York"...top hat, longcoat, mustache...a human Battlemaster Fighter with dual blades...and an old-style New York accent, which in this case, was a traditional Waterdeep accent.
His name was Carver...and he was very much a racist, and would waste no time lamenting how his city was filled to the brim with elves, dwarves, and other magical beings that were keeping the human folk down.
Another player was playing a half-elf, Mastermind Rogue...and actually, Carver got along pretty well with him. (the Leo DiCaprio to his Daniel Day Lewis, so to speak)
Didn't stop him from making the occasional racist comment about his distrust of elves...
Carver: "Ya know, you ain't that bad, kid...half of you may be one of those pointy-eared bastards...but the other half of you is all heart, and that's more than most."
Mastermind Rogue: "That's the nicest...most racist...thing I think I've ever heard someone say to me."
As some of you might know..."Repelling Blast" for Warlocks is just so much fun.
In our most recent campaign, we are high-level demigods, and after a gathering of the major deities of Faerun & Greek mythology, the party ends with EVERYONE getting banished back to the mortal plane...and all the gods are made mortal.
We get dropped into a clearing with Hermes, Vecna & Lolth...and after Helm (who is the only god who retains their status), squashes both Hermes & Vecna...our party must fight a VERY angry Lolth.
My barbarian gets decimated by the Spider Queen, forcing our cleric to teleport us out of the combat.
This leaves our Warlock (a god of cooking), and our Ranger ( a goddess of nature) to fight Lolth.
The warlock casts Eldritch Blast...and all four beams hit their target...!...and they use "Repelling Blast".
DM: "From a distance, you, the ranger, see a very strange sight...the frothing, cursing Spider Queen is sailing through the air, having been flung backwards by the sheer power of the demigod of cooking."
Warlock: "I run like hell the other way."
- later -
Lolth: (wounded & dying) "Let me go...and I give my word as a lawful deity to not seek vengeance against you."
Ranger: "Yeah...I'm not really buying that."
(Lolth then stabs the Warlock with a stinger, impaling him)
One player not really knowing how to role play "one level of madness" from "Out of the Abyss."
When making an attack, calling it out as if it were a war cry, "Turtles don't have attics!"
Thanking a barkeep/inkeeper for their hospitality and good food: "The lion sleeps in the apricot tree."
Greeting a probable quest giver: "The quill prefers yogurt."
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=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
One player not really knowing how to role play "one level of madness" from "Out of the Abyss."
When making an attack, calling it out as if it were a war cry, "Turtles don't have attics!"
Thanking a barkeep/inkeeper for their hospitality and good food: "The lion sleeps in the apricot tree."
Greeting a probable quest giver: "The quill prefers yogurt."
I've said things similar to the above when someone tried to wake me up out of a deep sleep. In that state, I thought they made sense. They did not. XD
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Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
"Alright, you stole Gordon Ramsay's teeth, but only 12 of them!"
"I blocked the blow just because I'm a dragonborn with a pain fetish, it wasn't about you."
"Wait, we all let Ayayron fall down the cliff and you can cast Feather Falling?"
I’m sorry, but is one of your characters named “AyAyron”? That’s priceless
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she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Okay this is from the last session. We were making our prison break, with 16 characters. 6 PCs, and 10 NPCs. My Goliath genie warlock had taken several arrows for one of the NPCs, a old Kua-toa, and was knocked unconscious by the poisoned arrows. In one turn.
Dm: now it is shuushar's turn. He's going to attempt pick you up. But he only has a +1, and you are about roughly 280 pounds, so he'll have to beat a DC18.
Me: Oh come on Shuushar
The DM rolled, and the NPC Nat20s.
Dm: Shuushar through heightened awareness, picks you up Tia, and starts running toward the bridge. He the sits down, and lays you on his lap, and says to you, "you saved my life, now I will save yours". As a single manly tear runs down his face.
Me: I'm just picturing a scene from Saving Private Ryan, or Forest Gump at that point. 'I HAVE TO SAVE TIIIAA!"
One character in particular: "I have an idea--"
Everyone else in the party: "NO!!"
Rewatching a certain stream I mentioned here reminded me of that campaign back in AD&D. That campaign had 8 players (9 originally, but my character kicked the thimble early on). I feel that's too many - I find 4-6 to be better so everyone's story gets to be part of the bigger story rather than everyone clamoring for their character to have some importance, but how one of the 8 rose to infamy for the worst ideas is a funny moment I had forgotten.
(The stream I mentioned is where the [most likely] CE character told, "I love it when you have ideas," to a very short-sighted CG character.)
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Paladin: YOU'RE NOT A MONK, YOURE A WARLOCK!! YOU HAVE ELDRITCH BLAST!!
"I look for a lightsaber"
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Mayor: " You've done we'll. Does you goup has a name?"
Our Bard: Yes.... we are FAARD!
Our Fighter: Dude, you just spelled fart.
Group: *headdesk*
Me, the DM, after the Druid had, erm, "nighttime liaisons" with a dryad during a long rest: "The dark of night fades as the sun rises, marking the coming of a new...day...I...just, now realized what I said right as I was saying it..."
I made a character based on Daniel Day Lewis's character in "Gangs of New York"...top hat, longcoat, mustache...a human Battlemaster Fighter with dual blades...and an old-style New York accent, which in this case, was a traditional Waterdeep accent.
His name was Carver...and he was very much a racist, and would waste no time lamenting how his city was filled to the brim with elves, dwarves, and other magical beings that were keeping the human folk down.
Another player was playing a half-elf, Mastermind Rogue...and actually, Carver got along pretty well with him. (the Leo DiCaprio to his Daniel Day Lewis, so to speak)
Didn't stop him from making the occasional racist comment about his distrust of elves...
Carver: "Ya know, you ain't that bad, kid...half of you may be one of those pointy-eared bastards...but the other half of you is all heart, and that's more than most."
Mastermind Rogue: "That's the nicest...most racist...thing I think I've ever heard someone say to me."
“We’re used to seeing bloodstained bears and assuming it’s [our druid].”
”Someday you’re gonna pay for that!”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
As some of you might know..."Repelling Blast" for Warlocks is just so much fun.
In our most recent campaign, we are high-level demigods, and after a gathering of the major deities of Faerun & Greek mythology, the party ends with EVERYONE getting banished back to the mortal plane...and all the gods are made mortal.
We get dropped into a clearing with Hermes, Vecna & Lolth...and after Helm (who is the only god who retains their status), squashes both Hermes & Vecna...our party must fight a VERY angry Lolth.
My barbarian gets decimated by the Spider Queen, forcing our cleric to teleport us out of the combat.
This leaves our Warlock (a god of cooking), and our Ranger ( a goddess of nature) to fight Lolth.
The warlock casts Eldritch Blast...and all four beams hit their target...!...and they use "Repelling Blast".
DM: "From a distance, you, the ranger, see a very strange sight...the frothing, cursing Spider Queen is sailing through the air, having been flung backwards by the sheer power of the demigod of cooking."
Warlock: "I run like hell the other way."
- later -
Lolth: (wounded & dying) "Let me go...and I give my word as a lawful deity to not seek vengeance against you."
Ranger: "Yeah...I'm not really buying that."
(Lolth then stabs the Warlock with a stinger, impaling him)
Warlock: "GAH...! I HATE HER SO MUCH...!"
One player not really knowing how to role play "one level of madness" from "Out of the Abyss."
When making an attack, calling it out as if it were a war cry, "Turtles don't have attics!"
Thanking a barkeep/inkeeper for their hospitality and good food: "The lion sleeps in the apricot tree."
Greeting a probable quest giver: "The quill prefers yogurt."
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Me: "Inside the treasure chest you also find a rusty old battle axe..."
My Wife to her mother who is also playing "Mom, what are you doing in that chest?"
Yikes!!
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt
I've said things similar to the above when someone tried to wake me up out of a deep sleep. In that state, I thought they made sense. They did not. XD
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
My players meet with two dwarven NPCs for a quest, to warn them about a young white dragon flying around the area.
NPC1: What brings you folks her-
Barbarian: DRAGON!
Barbarian's mimic companion: Wow very blunt.
NPC2:... um what?
Rogue: Quest.
NPC2: Oh! I love that game franchise!
Artificer Merchant: DON'T DESTROY THE POSSIBLE MERCHANDISE!!
Warlock after using eldritch blast: IM SORRY! FOR SOME REASON I CAN ONLY HIT STATIONARY THINGS WITH THIS!!
During Curse of Strahd, our party had just gotten the sun sword.
Paladin: *Uses Elemental Weapon*
Fighter (who has the sun sword): *GASP* Flaming Sword!
Sun Sword: Oh, well, I guess I'm old news now.
Hombrew: Way of Wresting, Circle of Sacrifice
Wait... Isn't that Sun Sword blessed by a god or something??
Just the most recent:
"Alright, you stole Gordon Ramsay's teeth, but only 12 of them!"
"I blocked the blow just because I'm a dragonborn with a pain fetish, it wasn't about you."
"Wait, we all let Ayayron fall down the cliff and you can cast Feather Falling?"
I’m sorry, but is one of your characters named “AyAyron”? That’s priceless
she/it pronouns
I watch. I wait. I listen. I like roleplaying games. Avid fan of messed up homebrew and horror rpgs. Lancer>dnd5e, go read Kill Six Billion Demons. I will shoot you with my transgenderification beam pew pew
Yep. Ayayron, Tim the Enchanter, [REDACTED], God, and Polnareff.