Been a while since I looked at this thread recently.
The sorceress is being sued for her pet bulette trashing a stable. She's an atheist, so the bailiff is having trouble figuring out how to swear her in. Sorceress: "Can't you guys just 'Zone of Truth' us?" Judge & Bailiff: *Look at each other* Bailiff: "Sh- She has a point..."
Bard: (Rushes into her boyfriend's workplace) "Your cousin is suing (Sorceress)!?!" NPC; "Oh yeah, I forgot they were my cousin... You have to remember, my grandma had a lot of children..."
DM: "The jury declares you not guilty. What do you do?" Sorceress: "I dab."
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Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
“No, I am not going to let you summon 8 pixies and break the game in every possible way.”
Yes
This is every dm ever
Makes me sad.
Imagine ising a summoning spell to summon people who could summon more
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
Halfling swashbuckler with Chef feat, facing down a manticore one on one: ***I*** decide who is food!
There is a comic strip where a violent, excessively carnivorous Lizardperson got his arms eaten by a monster whose touch would rot flesh. He died from rot after killing the monster by ripping out its throat with his teeth. "I'm the one who does the eating."
I prefer OOTS to Goblins, but definitely a cool death scene.
Anyways, on the topic of the thread:
DM: "4 assassins on horseback are now pursuing you" Party: *realizes that we are level 6 and assassins are CR 8* "Okay, we should have thought more before messing up the plot"
Player 3: "I wouldn't know that. So, we can't do that. It would be metagaming." DM: "Like that's stopped you so far."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
In a current pirate-themed campaign, I feel like I'm the Charles Darwin in this group. But the funny thing is I'm alright with that.
As the DM of the aforementioned pirate-themed campaign, I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. (Wait, how does one feel Darwin-ish again?)
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
I haven't seen the film in question, but my initial guess was something along the lines of the only intelligent person among a bunch of drunken, violent sociopaths. Because when you combine D&D players and pirates I'm pretty sure it's scientifically verified that you're going to get the latter at least 90% of the time.
I'm in one campaign that's had some strange moments. Two weeks ago we had a bizarre sequence where the party got split up between different parts of town. My character, a drow paladin of Eilistraee, was engaged in a very touching conversation with two other characters in which they were opening up about their backstories. Meanwhile the Centaur Warlock and Firbolg Druid ended up running off to the cheaper tavern on the other side of town and made a very strange scene trying to seduce the bartender in a sequence described as "breaking the DM." Last week ended just as we arrived at an inn only for the two of them to get into a fight, that then continued in this week's session with vivid descriptions of them smashing bottles and trying to strange one another, and they pretty much ended up staying that way for much of the session.
Then we had a really bizarre sequence where my paladin and the wizard/cleric had to distract a few town guards while our rogues were trying to steal incriminating evidence against a shopkeeper. It started off with the wizard cleric trying to claim he was getting rid of an evil spirit and then my character, the drow paladin, started adding in details about it being sent by a beholder.
Then I escalated further by channeling my inner Jehovah's witness and started saying "excuse me, have you heard the good news about Eilistraee, lord and saviour of the drow." So we were basically pretending to be Eilistraee's witnesses... and it worked! The guards got fed up with us and left. Though the Cleric/Wizard ended up scolding me afterwards for my terrible lie about the beholder.
DM (Yamana_Eajii: Does Cathair open the door to level 3?
Other player (Bobthebarb27): grenkum does. and he pulls out a 2 foot thick carpet for magic rune avoiding
Me: Nice! We made it to another day, and only one of us died! It turns out that death really isn’t much of a problem.
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This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Yamana: There's a bang, and the tavern doors swing open. A heavily bruised, skinny, dark skinned woman walks in, her green cloak appearing to be covered in dark liquid. Slung over her shoulder is what looks to be a were-rat with a massive dent in his head. Kaya dumps the body on the floor.
'Found this oaf sneaking outside, trying to steal horses. I tipped an anvil on his head. You're welcome.'
Kaya walks up to the bartender. 'Mighty fine place you got here, sir. Might I have something to drink? Minimal alcohol, I'm on a job.'
Bobthebarb27 (DM): Durnan grunts in thanks and slides a really watered down ale across the bar.
"clean up the body. and you know you can go to jail for life if you murder someone, even if its justified?"
The were-rat has so far been referenced at least 7 times, and we're only on 3 pages of campaign!
Yamana: There's a bang, and the tavern doors swing open. A heavily bruised, skinny, dark skinned woman walks in, her green cloak appearing to be covered in dark liquid. Slung over her shoulder is what looks to be a were-rat with a massive dent in his head. Kaya dumps the body on the floor.
'Found this oaf sneaking outside, trying to steal horses. I tipped an anvil on his head. You're welcome.'
Kaya walks up to the bartender. 'Mighty fine place you got here, sir. Might I have something to drink? Minimal alcohol, I'm on a job.'
Bobthebarb27 (DM): Durnan grunts in thanks and slides a really watered down ale across the bar.
"clean up the body. and you know you can go to jail for life if you murder someone, even if its justified?"
The were-rat has so far been referenced at least 7 times, and we're only on 3 pages of campaign!
That’s two and a third references a page!
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This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
DM (Yamana_Eajii: Does Cathair open the door to level 3?
Other player (Bobthebarb27): grenkum does. and he pulls out a 2 foot thick carpet for magic rune avoiding
Me: Nice! We made it to another day, and only one of us died! It turns out that death really isn’t much of a problem.
One more!
Yamana_Eajii: The sands whisper as a gust of wind flutters over them.
Me: Can I make an insight check to figure out what it’s saying?
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This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Been a while since I looked at this thread recently.
The sorceress is being sued for her pet bulette trashing a stable. She's an atheist, so the bailiff is having trouble figuring out how to swear her in.
Sorceress: "Can't you guys just 'Zone of Truth' us?"
Judge & Bailiff: *Look at each other*
Bailiff: "Sh- She has a point..."
Bard: (Rushes into her boyfriend's workplace) "Your cousin is suing (Sorceress)!?!"
NPC; "Oh yeah, I forgot they were my cousin... You have to remember, my grandma had a lot of children..."
DM: "The jury declares you not guilty. What do you do?"
Sorceress: "I dab."
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
“No, I am not going to let you summon 8 pixies and break the game in every possible way.”
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
Yes
This is every dm ever
Makes me sad.
Imagine ising a summoning spell to summon people who could summon more
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
I prefer OOTS to Goblins, but definitely a cool death scene.
Anyways, on the topic of the thread:
DM: "4 assassins on horseback are now pursuing you"
Party: *realizes that we are level 6 and assassins are CR 8* "Okay, we should have thought more before messing up the plot"
Proud poster on the Create a World thread
Player 3: "I wouldn't know that. So, we can't do that. It would be metagaming."
DM: "Like that's stopped you so far."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
In a current pirate-themed campaign, I feel like I'm the Charles Darwin in this group. But the funny thing is I'm alright with that.
“Why are you so obsessed with the apples?!”
”I’ll Catapult a silver trade bar at it!” (Fighting werewolves with a non-silvered weapon)
”Never assume a D&D player knows what they’re talking about!”
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
That is a fact
As the DM of the aforementioned pirate-themed campaign, I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. (Wait, how does one feel Darwin-ish again?)
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Like the fictional version of Charles Darwin from the Aardman film Pirates! Band of Misfits.
So...
You're planning to steal the party's mascot to feed to your ninja-queen sweetheart who hates pirates?
Make your Artificer work with any other class with 174 Multiclassing Feats for your Artificer Multiclass Character!
DM's Guild Releases on This Thread Or check them all out on DMs Guild!
DrivethruRPG Releases on This Thread - latest release: My Character is a Werewolf: balanced rules for Lycanthropy!
I have started discussing/reviewing 3rd party D&D content on Substack - stay tuned for semi-regular posts!
I haven't seen the film in question, but my initial guess was something along the lines of the only intelligent person among a bunch of drunken, violent sociopaths. Because when you combine D&D players and pirates I'm pretty sure it's scientifically verified that you're going to get the latter at least 90% of the time.
no no no the mentality of Charles Darwin, not the goal.
Which is?
I am a conjurer, but the only thing I can summon is disappointment
Status: schools started, so weekday posting is limited.
I'm a member of the "oops I accidentally destroyed someone's brain cult"
I might be losing it at the rate of the heat death of the universe.
Extended Sig
I'm in one campaign that's had some strange moments. Two weeks ago we had a bizarre sequence where the party got split up between different parts of town. My character, a drow paladin of Eilistraee, was engaged in a very touching conversation with two other characters in which they were opening up about their backstories. Meanwhile the Centaur Warlock and Firbolg Druid ended up running off to the cheaper tavern on the other side of town and made a very strange scene trying to seduce the bartender in a sequence described as "breaking the DM." Last week ended just as we arrived at an inn only for the two of them to get into a fight, that then continued in this week's session with vivid descriptions of them smashing bottles and trying to strange one another, and they pretty much ended up staying that way for much of the session.
Then we had a really bizarre sequence where my paladin and the wizard/cleric had to distract a few town guards while our rogues were trying to steal incriminating evidence against a shopkeeper. It started off with the wizard cleric trying to claim he was getting rid of an evil spirit and then my character, the drow paladin, started adding in details about it being sent by a beholder.
Then I escalated further by channeling my inner Jehovah's witness and started saying "excuse me, have you heard the good news about Eilistraee, lord and saviour of the drow." So we were basically pretending to be Eilistraee's witnesses... and it worked! The guards got fed up with us and left. Though the Cleric/Wizard ended up scolding me afterwards for my terrible lie about the beholder.
A few from a playtest group I’m in:
DM (Yamana_Eajii: Does Cathair open the door to level 3?
Other player (Bobthebarb27): grenkum does. and he pulls out a 2 foot thick carpet for magic rune avoiding
Me: Nice! We made it to another day, and only one of us died! It turns out that death really isn’t much of a problem.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Yamana: There's a bang, and the tavern doors swing open. A heavily bruised, skinny, dark skinned woman walks in, her green cloak appearing to be covered in dark liquid. Slung over her shoulder is what looks to be a were-rat with a massive dent in his head. Kaya dumps the body on the floor.
'Found this oaf sneaking outside, trying to steal horses. I tipped an anvil on his head. You're welcome.'
Kaya walks up to the bartender. 'Mighty fine place you got here, sir. Might I have something to drink? Minimal alcohol, I'm on a job.'
Bobthebarb27 (DM): Durnan grunts in thanks and slides a really watered down ale across the bar.
"clean up the body. and you know you can go to jail for life if you murder someone, even if its justified?"
The were-rat has so far been referenced at least 7 times, and we're only on 3 pages of campaign!
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
That’s two and a third references a page!
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
One more!
Yamana_Eajii: The sands whisper as a gust of wind flutters over them.
Me: Can I make an insight check to figure out what it’s saying?
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
Same session but this was earlier before the last two posts. The bard was being haunted while the rogue and I were busy attuneing to our magic items.
Me laughing: Looks like it's your session Esfir.
Bard disgruntled: I DONT WANT IT TO BE MY SESSION!!!