“Insane goblin, drug dealer, cannibal, puppet set fire to city in violent combat with innocent heroes.” Guess which one I am.
All of the above? (Jk)
That sounds like my players. I have to bribe them to literally do even the smallest little thing for an NPC that doesn't involve murder.
We’re less murder and more parasitic capitalism and mercenary privateering. I’m the drug dealer, a thri-kreen who mixes weed with russet mold to sell to the populace and create vegepygmies in service to him.
Oh my gosh thats a wonderful idea! I might have to steal that character concept and use it as an NPC in my campaign. This thread is giving me so many ideas for NPCs that are goung to give my players a taste of their own medecine!
"Can I umm, hold 'Strahdikins' for a second? He's very ummm, cute...?" Bard in COS trying to trick Baba Lysaga so we can steal the gem we need.
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Haiiiiii, I’m Druid! (he/they/it/moth/fae/star) I'm a smol insane queer lil' mess with a terrible mental state! I'm also a therian and furry :3 My current obsessions are The Amazing Digital Circus and Hazbin Hotel, so if you ever wanna chat about that, I'm always happy to!
"Oh no! Looks like I've taken Ragatha... AND DROPPED HER IN THE DEEP FRYER!" -Jax
We had a very important and tense sequence of infiltrating a temple overrun with yuan-ti dwarves heavily derailed with laughter by the sound effect I made when the monk stabbed a yuan-ti by ramming his spear down through the horn he was just starting to blow to raise the alarm. Several minutes later, tears streaming down our faces, one of the players declared that she had laughed so hard, it had popped a crick in her back that had been bothering her for over a month.
Titles bestowed by Drummer: The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
Player decided to switch characters part-way through the campaign, but didn't have a name thought of for his new character yet.
PC: [to NPC] Do you know who I am? NPC: No. Do you know who I am? PC: No. NPC: Then we're even. PC2: He's got a point.
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=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Another fun quote from our Bard (paraphraed): "I roll to seduce the Half-Ogre"
(He/Him), Pansexual dude. 🏳️🌈
I love cats, coffee and Dnd. Check out my tavern: THE PLATINUM KINGFISHER
Don't be a monday. Nobody likes mondays.
Of all the Dnd settings, Dragonlance is my absolute favourite.
Oh my gosh thats a wonderful idea! I might have to steal that character concept and use it as an NPC in my campaign. This thread is giving me so many ideas for NPCs that are goung to give my players a taste of their own medecine!
(He/Him), Pansexual dude. 🏳️🌈
I love cats, coffee and Dnd. Check out my tavern: THE PLATINUM KINGFISHER
Don't be a monday. Nobody likes mondays.
Of all the Dnd settings, Dragonlance is my absolute favourite.
Fighter: "It's like that age old saying about the unstoppable force and the immovable object. What does happen when you put the two together?"
Artificer, loading their Black Hole Arrow* into their crossbow: "Collateral damage."
*arrow + Coin Purse of Holding, shot into a catapulted portable hole.
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Rogue when he found an extra spear and an unconsious goblin "Can I make a kebab?"
Pronouns: She/Her
Gender: Nonbinary Female, 1/3 human, 1/3 feline, 1/3 dragon
Mentally and emotionally unstable, anorexic, autism, ADHD, anger issues
"Can I umm, hold 'Strahdikins' for a second? He's very ummm, cute...?" Bard in COS trying to trick Baba Lysaga so we can steal the gem we need.
Haiiiiii, I’m Druid! (he/they/it/moth/fae/star) I'm a smol insane queer lil' mess with a terrible mental state! I'm also a therian and furry :3 My current obsessions are The Amazing Digital Circus and Hazbin Hotel, so if you ever wanna chat about that, I'm always happy to!
"Oh no! Looks like I've taken Ragatha... AND DROPPED HER IN THE DEEP FRYER!" -Jax
Rogue, holding a book: "Hey, don't judge a book by its cover."
Cleric: "It's literally the Book of Vile Darkness! This is the WORST possible opportunity to use that phrase!"
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
“If he got set on fire and we never found the body, does that mean I get his mold?”
No news is good news…
I'll lay a white rose on the cold earth, knowing it that it has not claimed your soul.
As a diversion, the party's bard performed a scene from Shakespeare, specifically a duel between Romeo and Tibalt, for about 10 minutes of an episode.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6pTdMspIo4sej2Z5E6Ac7f?si=9zzeCtDTSymTEr3GJ3SKUQ
I don't really know many Shakespeare quotes, so I had to make up replies on the spot, which was a lot of fun.
Dungeon Master for The Endless Quest, a family friendly 5e actual play podcast.
Check out my DMsGuild work: https://www.dmsguild.com/browse.php?author=A%20Wizard%20of%20the%20Woodlands
We had a very important and tense sequence of infiltrating a temple overrun with yuan-ti dwarves heavily derailed with laughter by the sound effect I made when the monk stabbed a yuan-ti by ramming his spear down through the horn he was just starting to blow to raise the alarm. Several minutes later, tears streaming down our faces, one of the players declared that she had laughed so hard, it had popped a crick in her back that had been bothering her for over a month.
Such is the power of laughter XD
Make your Artificer work with any other class with 174 Multiclassing Feats for your Artificer Multiclass Character!
DM's Guild Releases on This Thread Or check them all out on DMs Guild!
DrivethruRPG Releases on This Thread - latest release: My Character is a Werewolf: balanced rules for Lycanthropy!
I have started discussing/reviewing 3rd party D&D content on Substack - stay tuned for semi-regular posts!
When I included a Crystal Dragon in one of my missions, the rogue player told me this:
"I see the dragon as a walking gold piece."
Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer:
The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
Currently inactive for most of the week.
“Hey, what’s your name?” “We lick her toes”
𝔐𝔶 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶/𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪 🏳️🌈🟨⬜️🟪⬛️ ℑ'𝔪 𝔎𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔫-𝔄𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔫 (ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔎𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔫)
My Characters! (that i actually played in a campaign)
Vek Nying, Si, Drizzle, Foofoo, Ą̸͇͍̗̱̮̹͔͐̒͑̂̑̓̚͜c̴̡̨͖̞̦̼̱͚͐͐̌̎ṵ̷̼̰̩̬̭͛̊͗̅͌̅̔̿m̸̙̰̓̽̀̆̈́͠͝a̴̛͚̍ư̶̗̬͎̈̊͒͂̿͝͝s̴̛̖̮̗̏̊̓̅̊̚ͅ, Bappa, Chaos
"So yeah, you grab the Druid, swing them around a couple of times, and 'so long gay bowser' them into the ogre as she turns into a brontosaurus."
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Player decided to switch characters part-way through the campaign, but didn't have a name thought of for his new character yet.
PC: [to NPC] Do you know who I am?
NPC: No. Do you know who I am?
PC: No.
NPC: Then we're even.
PC2: He's got a point.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Ok. Listen. That man’s depression is just up ahead. What are we going to do?
The fabric of the universe is VELCRO?!?!?
No context provided
The Barbarian: "my bumhole still bumholes"
Dwarves! These people are-(Someone casts Command)-Totally trustworthy
DM: You see a field of shee-
Me: (barbarian) I SMASH THEM AND PUT THEIR ENTRAILS IN BY BAG FOR LATER
DM: Ooookay… roll for animal handling.
Me: 20. Not modifier.
DM: (sighs)
DM: Past the doors, you see... a huge rock in the center of the chamb-
Bard: I seduce the rock!
(awkard silence, DM sighs.)
DM: Roll... for seduction
Bard: 17
DM: Okay... yeah, go ahead, kiss the f*king rock....
Error. (Traceback) line 1, <Salem> is undefined.
>Attemp <EXTENDED SIG>?
YES NO
[Enter: A new RP Thread: Sanctuary]
S♡J
2-13-25
Royal guards: The king demands you pay a fee
Rogue/cleric: No he doesn’t. (First roll of campaign/nat 20)
Royal guards: Very well. Be on your way.
Hi, I’m DrakenBrine, here’s my Sig and characters
I am The Grand Envisioner!
Boom the ascended talking to Boblin the goblin: Hello little me.
Barbarian bursting through door: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LITTLE ME?!?!
Hi, I’m DrakenBrine, here’s my Sig and characters
I am The Grand Envisioner!