Hey, I’m moon, i‘m aged between 3 and 300. Pronouns are She/They/It/It’s/Them/Her. I love D&D. I am chaotic neutral irl. I’m not afraid to punch someone. Mess with me and you’ll find out the hard way. extended sig
I am the goddess of the moon, the tides, and the axolotls
*the DM needs a challenge for the chaotic party.. he gives them a baby*
Character 1: can i eat it??
Character 2: can i murder it???
Character 3: NO.
im character two here, except i also would assume it wants to eat us
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This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
*the DM needs a challenge for the chaotic party.. he gives them a baby*
Character 1: can i eat it??
Character 2: can i murder it???
Character 3: NO.
im character two here, except i also would assume it wants to eat us
this was a totally innocent baby
sure, sure. im just gonna keep behind this wall of force
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
There have been lamentably few funny quotes in my campaign recently, mostly because the game got really dark really quickly and has stayed that way for about a month!
Some moments I can recall though include me, the DM, getting caught out by MY OWN PUN after I narrate their arrival at a tavern I had written on the map over a year ago, forgotten about, and then used in the game:
Me, DM: "You see a tower in the plains, a stone column, which has many windows and balconys cut into the sides of it. As you approach, you see the sign over the door saying "The Pylon Inn".
Table: *laughs/groans...*
Me: "...what? Oh, Oh I get it. Damn you past me."
Then there was the incident where the warlock asked the Raven Queen for help after she and the cleric were sent to the Astral Sea by a collapsing bag of holding, and they immediately were intercepted by a small boat which was piloted by a suspiciously-recently-deceased Gith. That caused a little laugh around the table.
Otherwise they've been preoccupied with killing zombies, fighting giants, and trying not to die!
*the DM needs a challenge for the chaotic party.. he gives them a baby*
Character 1: can i eat it??
Character 2: can i murder it???
Character 3: NO.
im character two here, except i also would assume it wants to eat us
this was a totally innocent baby
My players did this too! I gave them a magician hat that had a bunny in an pocket dimension, and when they accidentally pulled it out, they just killed it.
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Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Player 3: "Where's the nearest rock? I wanna hide behind it!"
Me: "The nearest rock is a stone behind you."
Player 3: *Rolls stealth* "NAT 20!!"
Me: "Uh, you hide behind the 2 inch diameter pebble, attempting to hide from the beholder."
Player 3: "Ohh..."
Players 1 and 2: *Laugh so hard that they actually fall over*
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Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer: The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
We were fighting this cultist kid called Michael as part of a campaign set in a school, we'd beaten him up and taken away his cursed ring, and left him prone on the floor (with the word 'Prone' written next to his name on the online map). Later, we go to speak to the Principal about this kid, he asks what the name of the cultist kid was, and one of our newbie party members replies 'Michael Prone', not being familiar with prone as a condition and assuming that it was in fact his name. The DM found this hilarious, and now the cultist kid is now canonically called Michael Prone- there's even going to be a whole Prone household.
Likewise, some of the NPCs we have dealt with have come to include 'Ben Kerplunk' and 'Zezz' (Originally zzzzz because we knocked him unconscious)
Me: "The dragon falls from the sky, landing next to you. What do you do-"
All the players in unison: "TREASURE!!"
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer: The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
The unnaturally muscular octogenarian would like to heal you, but if you'd rather he bit your head off as a show mercy to your party, he'd be more than happy to. Now pay the bloody tithing!
The players were fighting some zombies, as you do. They were wrecking said zombies, as you also do. Apart from the bard, who had 5 HP and had the remainder of the zombies surrounding him. The quote was:
"Well, these people smell. Let me enhance that."
By which he means casting Stinking Cloud, which was oddly effective.
Concentration
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Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer: The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
The players were fighting some zombies, as you do. They were wrecking said zombies, as you also do. Apart from the bard, who had 5 HP and had the remainder of the zombies surrounding him. The quote was:
"Well, these people smell. Let me enhance that."
By which he means casting Stinking Cloud, which was oddly effective.
Concentration
I have to hear how using a poison attack on creatures immune to poison was effective in any way?
The players were fighting some zombies, as you do. They were wrecking said zombies, as you also do. Apart from the bard, who had 5 HP and had the remainder of the zombies surrounding him. The quote was:
"Well, these people smell. Let me enhance that."
By which he means casting Stinking Cloud, which was oddly effective.
Concentration
I have to hear how using a poison attack on creatures immune to poison was effective in any way?
They're immune to poison, but are they immune to an eyewatering aroma?
Appropriate funny quotes!
“He sees his dead brother, Kazzle Dazzle.”
“Brother, I can’t be with you now-” “*high pitched voice* My father forbades it!”
“Sucks for you!” “My life is great! I have a toad!”
“She be pokin’ some toads!”
“He runs his hair through his hand.”
“As you’re choking to death-” “You die.”
“Bro is a superhero.” “Which bro?” “Your MOTHER.” “My mother’s not a bro.”
“Calder’s a thiefy thief!”
“On a scale from 1 to 10, how elegant is the sink.”
“I’m sleeping in his arms!”
“Calder, you naughty bird!”
“Are you drunk?” “YES!!”
“You’re a bird, shut up.”
“Is that part of your emo backstory?”
“I can magically read through walls, actually.”
“Ooh, hair!”
“Daniel has dish soap?!”
“Let’s all invest in-” “Bitcoin!”
𝔐𝔶 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶/𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪 🏳️🌈🟨⬜️🟪⬛️ ℑ'𝔪 𝔎𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔫-𝔄𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔫 (ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔎𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔫)
My Characters! (that i actually played in a campaign)
Vek Nying, Si, Drizzle, Foofoo, Ą̸͇͍̗̱̮̹͔͐̒͑̂̑̓̚͜c̴̡̨͖̞̦̼̱͚͐͐̌̎ṵ̷̼̰̩̬̭͛̊͗̅͌̅̔̿m̸̙̰̓̽̀̆̈́͠͝a̴̛͚̍ư̶̗̬͎̈̊͒͂̿͝͝s̴̛̖̮̗̏̊̓̅̊̚ͅ, Bappa, Chaos
"YOLO!!" Ander, yelled into a giant pit while sneaking through a mansion
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but your empty
Holding at your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffe & TV, easily
I’ve seen so much I’m going blind and I’m brain dead virtually
*the DM needs a challenge for the chaotic party.. he gives them a baby*
Character 1: can i eat it??
Character 2: can i murder it???
Character 3: NO.
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but your empty
Holding at your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffe & TV, easily
I’ve seen so much I’m going blind and I’m brain dead virtually
I have so many questions
Hey, I’m moon, i‘m aged between 3 and 300. Pronouns are She/They/It/It’s/Them/Her. I love D&D. I am chaotic neutral irl. I’m not afraid to punch someone. Mess with me and you’ll find out the hard way. extended sig
I am the goddess of the moon, the tides, and the axolotls
I am not a furry, I am a fishie.
Character 1: "if i have to drag you, i WILL get you to marry that princess!"
Me: "my character doesnt even like her! And getting her army is a horrible reason to marry her!"
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but your empty
Holding at your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffe & TV, easily
I’ve seen so much I’m going blind and I’m brain dead virtually
me too, me too
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but your empty
Holding at your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffe & TV, easily
I’ve seen so much I’m going blind and I’m brain dead virtually
im character two here, except i also would assume it wants to eat us
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
this was a totally innocent baby
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but your empty
Holding at your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffe & TV, easily
I’ve seen so much I’m going blind and I’m brain dead virtually
sure, sure. im just gonna keep behind this wall of force
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
There have been lamentably few funny quotes in my campaign recently, mostly because the game got really dark really quickly and has stayed that way for about a month!
Some moments I can recall though include me, the DM, getting caught out by MY OWN PUN after I narrate their arrival at a tavern I had written on the map over a year ago, forgotten about, and then used in the game:
Me, DM: "You see a tower in the plains, a stone column, which has many windows and balconys cut into the sides of it. As you approach, you see the sign over the door saying "The Pylon Inn".
Table: *laughs/groans...*
Me: "...what? Oh, Oh I get it. Damn you past me."
Then there was the incident where the warlock asked the Raven Queen for help after she and the cleric were sent to the Astral Sea by a collapsing bag of holding, and they immediately were intercepted by a small boat which was piloted by a suspiciously-recently-deceased Gith. That caused a little laugh around the table.
Otherwise they've been preoccupied with killing zombies, fighting giants, and trying not to die!
Make your Artificer work with any other class with 174 Multiclassing Feats for your Artificer Multiclass Character!
DM's Guild Releases on This Thread Or check them all out on DMs Guild!
DrivethruRPG Releases on This Thread - latest release: My Character is a Werewolf: balanced rules for Lycanthropy!
I have started discussing/reviewing 3rd party D&D content on Substack - stay tuned for semi-regular posts!
My players did this too! I gave them a magician hat that had a bunny in an pocket dimension, and when they accidentally pulled it out, they just killed it.
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
Me: Can I be a human fighter?
DM: No. This is supposed to be a serious campaign.
Me: What if I was purple?
DM: Sure. How does it fit into your backstory, though?
Me: I’m from an island of purple people. The only purple people in the world. But the island was destroyed, and I’m the only one left.
DM (intrigued): What happened to destroy the island? How did they die?
*beat drop*
Me: It was the Purple People Eater.
Terra Lubridia archive:
The Bloody Barnacle | The Gut | The Athene Crusader | The Jewel of Atlantis
Beholder: "I know your there."
Player 1: "AAAGH!"
Player 2: "I punch it in the eyeball!"
Player 3: "Where's the nearest rock? I wanna hide behind it!"
Me: "The nearest rock is a stone behind you."
Player 3: *Rolls stealth* "NAT 20!!"
Me: "Uh, you hide behind the 2 inch diameter pebble, attempting to hide from the beholder."
Player 3: "Ohh..."
Players 1 and 2: *Laugh so hard that they actually fall over*
Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer:
The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
Currently inactive for most of the week.
We were fighting this cultist kid called Michael as part of a campaign set in a school, we'd beaten him up and taken away his cursed ring, and left him prone on the floor (with the word 'Prone' written next to his name on the online map). Later, we go to speak to the Principal about this kid, he asks what the name of the cultist kid was, and one of our newbie party members replies 'Michael Prone', not being familiar with prone as a condition and assuming that it was in fact his name. The DM found this hilarious, and now the cultist kid is now canonically called Michael Prone- there's even going to be a whole Prone household.
Likewise, some of the NPCs we have dealt with have come to include 'Ben Kerplunk' and 'Zezz' (Originally zzzzz because we knocked him unconscious)
🍅 PM me the word 'tomato' 🍅 Extended Signature
At the end of my last campaign:
Me: "The dragon falls from the sky, landing next to you. What do you do-"
All the players in unison: "TREASURE!!"
Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer:
The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
Currently inactive for most of the week.
The unnaturally muscular octogenarian would like to heal you, but if you'd rather he bit your head off as a show mercy to your party, he'd be more than happy to. Now pay the bloody tithing!
Well, this happened.
The players were fighting some zombies, as you do. They were wrecking said zombies, as you also do. Apart from the bard, who had 5 HP and had the remainder of the zombies surrounding him. The quote was:
"Well, these people smell. Let me enhance that."
By which he means casting Stinking Cloud, which was oddly effective.
Concentration
Star Wars and Warhammer nerd. Yup. I'm both.
Pronouns he/him. WASSUUP!
Titles bestowed by Drummer:
The Unstrikable Warrior, Expert of Dragons and Knowledge, Master of the Blade, Merciless champion, The Rising Power, Risen from the Depths, The Potential of Darkness!
Currently inactive for most of the week.
I have to hear how using a poison attack on creatures immune to poison was effective in any way?
They're immune to poison, but are they immune to an eyewatering aroma?
"Guys, they're not going to fall for the Trojan Chicken."
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)