"Does it count as kidnapping if you're kidnapped by your parents?"
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
"Does it count as kidnapping if you're kidnapped by your parents?"
That would be offspringnapping.
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Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
"Wait, no, hold on, no, not-buying it, too specific, no. No way there's a spell called 'Destroy non-residential [depleted/non-active] mine and/or [non/inter-denominational] temple' in this setting, no."
"The ancient red dragon stealthily hides behind a tree. It doesn't work."
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Sorcerer: "Okay, so I made six arrowheads." Bard: "That's enough for six arrows." DM: "Which in turn is enough to take out [BBEG #1], [BBEG #2], [BBEG #3], [BBEG #4], [NPC who turned traitor], and [Rogue]."
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
"The ancient red dragon stealthily hides behind a tree. It doesn't work."
Lol, I bet it said "There is no dragon here I am just a tree"
Nope, it jumped into the ethereal plane and followed his target like a creeper.
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The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that... "Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent* "Eliksni must rise...yes?" _________ When it comes to pronouns I preferVariks-Senpai(But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
NPC caster is attacking the party with fervor after some tense but non-hostile dialog with the Artificer constantly trying to convince the rest of the party that the caster is innocent of the alleged crimes.
Artificer: "What are you doing?! Are you evil?! I want to understand!" Rogue to Artificer: "Give it up, mate."
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
6 foot + Leonin booping my halfling monk. Monk: "Do not boop me because I am at perfect booping height to the family jewels."
And, same character, during combat against a bandit: "I'm going to do two attacks, a nut shot, drive through his legs then a kidney punch from behind!"
Ah, one of the blessings of being a halfling monk. Go Astral Self route and you get EXTRA CROTCH SHOTS
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
From a heavily homebrewed Western-themed oneshot I ran:
Sheriff: I need you to go hunt down this conman [gives details of case and payment] Orc Gunslinger/Ranger: Well, sure! I mean, I came here to rob the bank, but for money I can be a bounty hunter! Sheriff: ...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that part in the middle
Me: You see a glint at the bottom of the pool. [the rogue retrieves it] You see a wooden rod, with spiraling silver metal around it and a hilt elaborately carved from a blue gem. Despite being completely submerged, it is miraculously dry. The Party: WAND OF NEVER WET! The players never referred to that wand as anything else for the entire session, however hard I tried to stop them.
Changeling Fighter: I change forms, and go to talk to the party. Me: What do you change into? Changeling: I change into a tall, blonde-haired man, slender but muscular. I then go up to the party. Changeling: [in ridiculous, high-pitched Southern accent][1] HOWDY THERE, MA NAME'S PAUL! LET'S KILL SOME B****ES!
Gunslinger/Ranger: *as his character intro* You know how I got this name? [long statement of backstory, told to whoever will listen at the bar] And THAT is why I'm gonna *immediately passes out drunk* Human Ranger: *also as his character intro* I used to be in the military [another long statement of backstory, told to whoever will listen at the bar] And TH- *immediately passes out drunk directly on top of the other ranger*
Changeling: [invesrigating a mysterious source of blood in a cave] I throw something around the corner. [nothing]. I yell out. [nothing]. I make myself look as appetizing as possible and step around the corner as a diversion.
[1]Think Old Man McGuckett from Gravity Falls if he were a couple decades younger
Here's one (paraphrased):
"Does it count as kidnapping if you're kidnapped by your parents?"
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
That would be offspringnapping.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
"Wait, no, hold on, no, not-buying it, too specific, no. No way there's a spell called 'Destroy non-residential [depleted/non-active] mine and/or [non/inter-denominational] temple' in this setting, no."
Context: The barbarian is surrounded by orcs, and getting crushed.
Druid Player: I can kill them all with erupting earth, but I’ll hit you too. Can you take that?
Barbarian Player: Maybe?
DM: You have advantage on Dex saves against things you can see, right?
Druid Player: Awesome! I wave and shout “Can you see me!?”, and once he makes eye contact I blow up the ground.
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
“No officer, I don’t know, that unicorn is obviously crazy.”
"The ancient red dragon stealthily hides behind a tree. It doesn't work."
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Lol, I bet it said "There is no dragon here I am just a tree"
"I have to go now, my planet needs me".
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
From today's session...
Sorcerer: "Okay, so I made six arrowheads."
Bard: "That's enough for six arrows."
DM: "Which in turn is enough to take out [BBEG #1], [BBEG #2], [BBEG #3], [BBEG #4], [NPC who turned traitor], and [Rogue]."
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Nope, it jumped into the ethereal plane and followed his target like a creeper.
The Tavern Mother (Trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds!)
I am the God-Queen of Trickery, Cunning, Lies, and Gaslighting- but you already knew that...
"Moon's Haunted." *Cocks shotgun with malicious intent*
"Eliksni must rise...yes?"
_________
When it comes to pronouns I prefer Variks-Senpai (But I'm a dude. Pronouns are weird.)
Summarized from a stream:
NPC caster is attacking the party with fervor after some tense but non-hostile dialog with the Artificer constantly trying to convince the rest of the party that the caster is innocent of the alleged crimes.
Artificer: "What are you doing?! Are you evil?! I want to understand!"
Rogue to Artificer: "Give it up, mate."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
6 foot + Leonin booping my halfling monk. Monk: "Do not boop me because I am at perfect booping height to the family jewels."
And, same character, during combat against a bandit: "I'm going to do two attacks, a nut shot, drive through his legs then a kidney punch from behind!"
Current Characters:
Inara, Changeling, Level 3 Ranger/Gloomstalker
Oraine Bramblebrand, Level 5 Monk/Way of Ascendant Dragon
Ah, one of the blessings of being a halfling monk. Go Astral Self route and you get EXTRA CROTCH SHOTS
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Don't worry, I'm fluent in gibberish.
Pronouns: he/him/his.
My posting scheduled is irregular: sometimes I can post twice a week, sometimes twice a day. I may also respond to quick questions, but ignore harder responses in favor of time.
My location is where my character for my home game is (we're doing the wild beyond the witchlight).
"The Doomvault... Probably full of unicorns and rainbows." -An imaginary quote
From a heavily homebrewed Western-themed oneshot I ran:
Sheriff: I need you to go hunt down this conman [gives details of case and payment]
Orc Gunslinger/Ranger: Well, sure! I mean, I came here to rob the bank, but for money I can be a bounty hunter!
Sheriff: ...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that part in the middle
Me: You see a glint at the bottom of the pool. [the rogue retrieves it] You see a wooden rod, with spiraling silver metal around it and a hilt elaborately carved from a blue gem. Despite being completely submerged, it is miraculously dry.
The Party: WAND OF NEVER WET!
The players never referred to that wand as anything else for the entire session, however hard I tried to stop them.
Changeling Fighter: I change forms, and go to talk to the party.
Me: What do you change into?
Changeling: I change into a tall, blonde-haired man, slender but muscular. I then go up to the party.
Changeling: [in ridiculous, high-pitched Southern accent][1] HOWDY THERE, MA NAME'S PAUL! LET'S KILL SOME B****ES!
Gunslinger/Ranger: *as his character intro* You know how I got this name? [long statement of backstory, told to whoever will listen at the bar] And THAT is why I'm gonna *immediately passes out drunk*
Human Ranger: *also as his character intro* I used to be in the military [another long statement of backstory, told to whoever will listen at the bar] And TH- *immediately passes out drunk directly on top of the other ranger*
Changeling: [invesrigating a mysterious source of blood in a cave] I throw something around the corner. [nothing]. I yell out. [nothing]. I make myself look as appetizing as possible and step around the corner as a diversion.
[1]Think Old Man McGuckett from Gravity Falls if he were a couple decades younger
I want to cool-aid-man through the door
I am a conjurer, but the only thing I can summon is disappointment
Status: schools started, so weekday posting is limited.
I'm a member of the "oops I accidentally destroyed someone's brain cult"
I might be losing it at the rate of the heat death of the universe.
Extended Sig
“I am fine. It appears I cannot fly. Or casts spells. Or shoot balls of light from my tendrils. Or have tendrils.”
No context.
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)
here is a few
"....is this prison a tourist attraction"
tickets cost gp per head
the parties pet hydra:*sad hydra sounds*
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
Hey! No posting O’s quotes!
RIP Tavern.
All hail King Jovan Fluffycloud Prince
Teleporting elf monk supremacy!, but druids are better
[Cactus]Waffles!”I don’t have any good quotes to put in my sig.” -Me
I have a weird sense of humor.
I also make maps.(That's a link)