Another quote from the same session Alex was in. A trickster spirit was magically imprisoned in the pyramid and had invaded the barbarian's mind. He convinced her that he was the pyramid's consciousness, and he was trying to persuade the party to walk into a trap, but the rogue/bard didn't believe him. That upset him, and he said this to the barbarian:
(About the rogue/bard) "I feel like I should know my own anatomy, mansplainer."
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie." Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me. I'm allergic to fireball
Player: I want to say something to [the BBEG]. Can I do that on my turn? DM: Your turn is 6 seconds. If you take 6 seconds to speak, I'll consider that your action. Player: Okay. I want to say, "Hi!" DM: ... Is that it? Player: It's all I can think of in 6 seconds. I've never been good at timed tests.
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Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken. Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing. Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan. Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer. Plays god on Saturdays.
"So our party is composed of a Vampire detective who's good at boxing, a barbarian who can send a ogre running away with it's tail between it's legs just by screaming at it, a whackjob rogue with a samurai sword, a life cleric with a machine gun, and a serial arsonist wizard?!, great just checking."
"So our party is composed of a Vampire detective who's good at boxing, a barbarian who can send a ogre running away with it's tail between it's legs just by screaming at it, a whackjob rogue with a samurai sword, a life cleric with a machine gun, and a serial arsonist wizard?!, great just checking."
As one who greatly prefers Mayonnaise over Miracle Whip, the answer is a resounding, "No," but it doesn't change the pun's concept.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player explaining how his monster-hunter family makes holy water:
Fighter: “We’ve been burning holy essences up and pouring them into the water.”
Artificer, in a thick Scottish accent: “You mean you burn the hell out of it?”
The thing that instantly came to mind when I read this was the TF2 Demoman. (Maybe that was the character concept....)
That’s quite possible. He was describing his character, and the whole table erupted into laughter— while I, the poor confused DM, had to ask what they were laughing about. Somebody explained that he had made a “castlevainia” (spelling?) character. I have no idea what that is, but I was trying to keep the game from devolving into puns, so I didn’t ask. I’ve been busy, so I haven’t looked it up yet, but I loved the initial pun so much that I had to share it here.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Player explaining how his monster-hunter family makes holy water:
Fighter: “We’ve been burning holy essences up and pouring them into the water.”
Artificer, in a thick Scottish accent: “You mean you burn the hell out of it?”
The thing that instantly came to mind when I read this was the TF2 Demoman. (Maybe that was the character concept....)
That’s quite possible. He was describing his character, and the whole table erupted into laughter— while I, the poor confused DM, had to ask what they were laughing about. Somebody explained that he had made a “castlevainia” (spelling?) character. I have no idea what that is, but I was trying to keep the game from devolving into puns, so I didn’t ask. I’ve been busy, so I haven’t looked it up yet, but I loved the initial pun so much that I had to share it here.
Castlevania does indeed use quite a bit of holy water.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Player explaining how his monster-hunter family makes holy water:
Fighter: “We’ve been burning holy essences up and pouring them into the water.”
Artificer, in a thick Scottish accent: “You mean you burn the hell out of it?”
The thing that instantly came to mind when I read this was the TF2 Demoman. (Maybe that was the character concept....)
That’s quite possible. He was describing his character, and the whole table erupted into laughter— while I, the poor confused DM, had to ask what they were laughing about. Somebody explained that he had made a “castlevainia” (spelling?) character. I have no idea what that is, but I was trying to keep the game from devolving into puns, so I didn’t ask. I’ve been busy, so I haven’t looked it up yet, but I loved the initial pun so much that I had to share it here.
Castlevania does indeed use quite a bit of holy water.
Fun fact, according to the catholic church, Holy water does not dilute, and any water it is mixed into as long as the proportion is more than 1 part holy water to 1 part normal water will become holy water itself. So all you need is a small bottle of the stuff and you can make more of it.
Player explaining how his monster-hunter family makes holy water:
Fighter: “We’ve been burning holy essences up and pouring them into the water.”
Artificer, in a thick Scottish accent: “You mean you burn the hell out of it?”
The thing that instantly came to mind when I read this was the TF2 Demoman. (Maybe that was the character concept....)
That’s quite possible. He was describing his character, and the whole table erupted into laughter— while I, the poor confused DM, had to ask what they were laughing about. Somebody explained that he had made a “castlevainia” (spelling?) character. I have no idea what that is, but I was trying to keep the game from devolving into puns, so I didn’t ask. I’ve been busy, so I haven’t looked it up yet, but I loved the initial pun so much that I had to share it here.
Castlevania does indeed use quite a bit of holy water.
Fun fact, according to the catholic church, Holy water does not dilute, and any water it is mixed into as long as the proportion is more than 1 part holy water to 1 part normal water will become holy water itself. So all you need is a small bottle of the stuff and you can make more of it.
So I could just swipe a dish from a priest and double it until I have a
Sacred Swimming Pool(TM)?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Our DM declared that, despite the spell text specifying that you need to see the target, a character can cast "Healing Word" on themselves even if they are in magical darkness.
Player: Where am I in relation to myself?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Another quote from the same session Alex was in. A trickster spirit was magically imprisoned in the pyramid and had invaded the barbarian's mind. He convinced her that he was the pyramid's consciousness, and he was trying to persuade the party to walk into a trap, but the rogue/bard didn't believe him. That upset him, and he said this to the barbarian:
(About the rogue/bard) "I feel like I should know my own anatomy, mansplainer."
Morrigan Corax, The Phantom Queen, Breaker of The Elemental Chains, and Flaming Chicken
Cassilia Decalia, Servant of His Xanthous Majesty. "It's not narcissism, it's histrionicism, dearie."
Dokuhebi Tsuchinoko, child of the serpent goddess and temporary mother of squidlings
Envelope Lastname is going to be the death of me.
I'm allergic to fireball
Player explaining how his monster-hunter family makes holy water:
Fighter: “We’ve been burning holy essences up and pouring them into the water.”
Artificer, in a thick Scottish accent: “You mean you burn the hell out of it?”
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
The thing that instantly came to mind when I read this was the TF2 Demoman. (Maybe that was the character concept....)
*during combat*
Player: I want to say something to [the BBEG]. Can I do that on my turn?
DM: Your turn is 6 seconds. If you take 6 seconds to speak, I'll consider that your action.
Player: Okay. I want to say, "Hi!"
DM: ... Is that it?
Player: It's all I can think of in 6 seconds. I've never been good at timed tests.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
npc:¨jobs worth 100 gp to the head¨
warlock:¨last time i checked this was a solo hit job¨
npc:¨it is they just have 4 heads¨
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
Oh! I almost forgot. The gunslinger fighter didn't have a chance to shoot anything because the fireballs were plenty. The temple was burning, and ...
Fighter OOC: aw man redd didn’t get to shoot anything today
Fighter (OOC?): shoots the fire “well it was worth a shot”
Maximilian "Mad Max" Oceanus, transmutation wizard, best known for being on the team that saved the universe from Kozelak's infinite hunger, and also an avenger of the Unspoken.
Olaf Ericsson, a jolly ranger with a bit of an anger problem. Also likes to sing.
Yaethel Akeelan, a druid with a plan; a very, very big plan.
Damien Rook, full time author, part time adventurer.
Plays god on Saturdays.
"So our party is composed of a Vampire detective who's good at boxing, a barbarian who can send a ogre running away with it's tail between it's legs just by screaming at it, a whackjob rogue with a samurai sword, a life cleric with a machine gun, and a serial arsonist wizard?!, great just checking."
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
(wipes away single tear) "It's...it's beautiful!"
From our Lauren, DDB alumnus:
As one who greatly prefers Mayonnaise over Miracle Whip, the answer is a resounding, "No," but it doesn't change the pun's concept.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
*Party debating whether DoIP or Rime of The Frostmaiden is best*
Player 1:"Well Dragons of Icespire Peak is great for introducing new players to the game and is easy to homebrew for."
Player 2:"Well Rime of The Frostmai-"
Player 1:"Also it's BBEG doesn't look like a reject Naruto villian."
Player 2:*sigh*, Ok you win."
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
That’s quite possible. He was describing his character, and the whole table erupted into laughter— while I, the poor confused DM, had to ask what they were laughing about. Somebody explained that he had made a “castlevainia” (spelling?) character. I have no idea what that is, but I was trying to keep the game from devolving into puns, so I didn’t ask. I’ve been busy, so I haven’t looked it up yet, but I loved the initial pun so much that I had to share it here.
I live with several severe autoimmune conditions. If I don’t get back to you right away, it’s probably because I’m not feeling well.
Castlevania does indeed use quite a bit of holy water.
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Fun fact, according to the catholic church, Holy water does not dilute, and any water it is mixed into as long as the proportion is more than 1 part holy water to 1 part normal water will become holy water itself. So all you need is a small bottle of the stuff and you can make more of it.
So I could just swipe a dish from a priest and double it until I have a
Sacred Swimming Pool(TM)?
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
Our DM declared that, despite the spell text specifying that you need to see the target, a character can cast "Healing Word" on themselves even if they are in magical darkness.
Player: Where am I in relation to myself?
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
One of our players had to drop out due to work conflicts so we all said “bye robo dad”
Current Characters:
Inara, Changeling, Level 3 Ranger/Gloomstalker
Oraine Bramblebrand, Level 5 Monk/Way of Ascendant Dragon
Gnome Artificer (me): "Do you all have lodging while you're in town?"
Tabaxi Bard: "I thought I was crashing on your couch!"
You should have replied: "Oh, great! You'll LOVE it, it's full length. Four whole feet."
or, Gnome: "Um, sure. Let me get the plasteel covering to drape over it so it doesn't get stained."
Bard: "Don't be rude! Why do you think I'd stain your couch!?"
"I used a blacklight the last time you stayed over. it was gross."
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
"well... I try to milk the Owlbear"..
reply: Why bother with milk when you got the Owlbear for Free!
And for the second one.... "Congratulations, you just punched a ghost to death... again."
(Gnome: "I hear good things come in threes! Let's raise him so you can triple kill him!"
Monk. "I'm not sure Raise Dead works that way...."
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
ha!
"... and anyway, she's obviously a lesbian.'
"how can you tell a [femaie?] shambling mound is a lesbian?"
"By the K.D. Lang tee-shirt she's wearing!"
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
(Gnome reply: (clapping) Here, here! You should use that as your Paladin motto/crest!)
[I actually think that sentence DOES translate pretty well into Latin!]
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.