But when you do so, you become your only enemy. 

I can control the sun. 

OOC: but you do get to becom POTUS (pretty good benefit XD)

(Being president isn't something someone should want to be just because they'd be powerful, they should want to be it to help people. The best leaders are the ones that don't want to be a leader, but know that they're the best choice.)

but only if you eat it first

(What's your power?)

i can never die

But you are tossed into a volcano as a sacrifice to the gods, and spend the rest of the planet's lifespan burning alive.

I can draw simplified versions of objects in midair to create functional versions of those objects.
For example, I can draw a curve with a line connecting the ends to create a bow, or a lone line with a smaller line crossing it near the bottom to create a sword.

Granted, but whenever you draw the first line of the object, the object you use to draw it stops working momentarily, just creating a stick.

I can live in Minecraft irl

But your Minecraft wolves will never love you. 

I can speak to animals

But they don't understand, or talk back. (So, like real life!)

I can breath lava

(That's cruel!) 

But only once a year, for 30 seconds.

I can eat however much I want - of whatever I want - and stay healthy

But you have awful gas and nobody wants to be around you.

I can swim up waterfalls.

Only in Minecraft

I can command tarrasques telepathically to infinite range. 

However the tarrasque is the puny 5e version (and not homebrew), and not the nice 4e version, also, it's clumsy when it's out of sight, like an RC car.

I can make pigeons and seagulls poop on your head, and they never miss or target me.

But every time they do, you tase the poop in your mouth.

I have the ability to kill any evil being by pointing at it.

I think you mean "bean". You can kill any bean by pointing at it.

I can create ultron at will. 

But if you do, you die.

I can become the ultimate gamer while also making sandwiches

But only if the sandwiches are disgusting (like broccoli and 3 week old tartar sauce on half-cooked bread disgusting)

I can read any book ever written, even if it`s been destroyed, as long as i have a blank piece of paper to read it from.

But, you must write the book on it, and know the contents of the book down to the punctuation.

I can read with my eyes closed

But you can`t see with your eyes open.

I can literally find silver linings on clouds.