Super Power... With a Flaw

...but they get overly possessive and physically attack anyone that come close to you.

I know the Mending cantrip IRL.

Everything you fix is suddenly useless.

I have Thermo-Kinesis

...but you can only adjust temperatures by 10%.

I can manipulate the form of any material as if it were soft clay.

However it actually turns into clay afterwards

I can change what material an object is made of on contact

...provided you can balance it on a contact lens without breaking the contact.

I can freely adjust the density of any stone object I touch.

However you alter your density at the same time, effectively killing you.

Life is an rpg and I can level up by doing quests (mom tells you to do the dishes? 50xp.)

You need 15,000,000xp to reach level 2 and the amount per level triples each level. A quest with a 2% chance of success gives you 120xp.

I can perform any mathematical calculation within seconds using only my mind...

You can perform, with drama, and almost always wrong.

I can go into any video game and take anything back into our world

...that is, if you could find a way back to our world. Too bad the first game you entered was Bloodborne!

I have perfect vision and can zoom in to see objects that are several hundred kilometers away.

Unfortunately, what has been seen can ever be unseen. Ever. The pressure from all this information eventually drives you mad.

I can always find the coffee mugs when I am in any kitchen.

But only if they're broken

I create any food at any time

...but it's always rotten.

I can revert any material to its natural state, with a size proportional to how much material there is. (for example: a plank of wood can be reverted back into a small tree)

The resulting item is chaotic evil and spends its entire existence trying to kill you.

I can make my entire D&D group appear for regular sessions.

... without character sheets, dice or anything needed to play the game. Have fun!

I can, at will, shape-shift into anything I wish, with full control and the ability to revert to my normal self

Except your normal self is a slug

I have photokinesis and umbrakinesis

but you can only use that once every billion years.                        i hope you can live that long :)

i have every super power ever and can use them whenever i want and know how to use them and there are no drawbacks

...and then you wake up.

If I poke anyone in the forehead, I can reverse their biological gender.

But it reverses your gender to

I can become any anime character

 but only when you play dnd (you are still in the real world, just your dnd character is an anime character)

i am can use the force and have a lightsaber

...except you have no training and accidentally slash through your lungs.

I can properly sustain myself by drinking 1kg of water each day...