I enchant my posts.

I have +3 post meaning, I automattically get three likes on every post.

I enchant MY posts.

The boringbard glares at you through the screen, burning a hole in your skull.

"I can see you're upset. Perhaps I will just head on out..."

I enchant my tooth brush.

It turns into a pink filthy hair brush (with hair already in it) that you must use to brush your teeth or you will die.

"well, it could be worse right? I could've gotten a frog instead."

I enchant.

The world is instantly crunched and swallowed by a massive black hole that is really the mouth of a cosmic frog.

"Maybe next time I should enchant an item."

I enchant a random item.

It becomes a massive gold coin that falls on you and crushes to the ground.

"Well, could be worse, I could've gotten the frog."

I enchant my spit.

You can now ONLY spit with bullet like speed and power. You can no longer spit safely.

"Drop your weapons! (Drops swords) Fools! Now you are defenseless! (Spits in eye) AGGH! MY EYE!"

"My saliva just traveled at sonic speeds to reach your eye dealing MASSIVE damage. You are the one who is defenseless now. (Evil laugh)"

I enchant EVERY THREAD in existence.

The DND forums rejoice and call you, their savior.

"Some of you may die. But that is a sacrifice that I, am willing to make."

I enchant a Frodo Baggins

He is now called Brodo Faggins.

"I didn't expect that."

I enchant my soul.

It now likes to be called "A" so every time someone says the word "a" your soul telepathically responds to them with: "HI I AM KOOL WANNA PLAY CARD GAMES?"

"Why does nobody like me?"

I enchant my left eyebrow.

Every time you raise it, you inflict internal damage on someone nearby.