Luckily, I have a bag of holding so I don’t need to worry about that.

you just tripped while holding the king favorite vase (you are a slave)

Trapped in the vase was a genie a la Robin Williams. I wish for a way out of the situation and am whisked to a tropical island. 

You are taking a spacewalk when you lose your tether and start drifting away. 

I'm a level 18 wizard in spelljammer, I cast teleport and teleport back to my ship.

You are tied to a table with a group of hungry cannibals gathered around you. You are about to be eaten.

I point out that the cannibals can just eat each other and walk away as they consider that statement.

you dug straight down

According a video by (I think Grian or MumboJumbo) they found that digging straight down is actually a lot safer than the community would expect. So the odds are in my favor! >:D

You ate a yellow cucumber.

Don't see what's wrong with that. They're not poisonous or dangerous, just a little overripe.

You ate some random berries in the woods---turns out they're nightshade berries!

I'm in luck because I just found some bacui berries, which are known to cure the poison of the nightshade berries. (That or they are maka'ole berries which are known to cause blindness.)

You were hired by a zoo to act like a gorilla due to budget cuts that prevent them from having as many real animals as they'd like and you just fell into the lion exhibit.

I get up and shake hands with the guy pretending to be a lion

I'm back to start my old series of problems again: Your falling under a cliff

I am a marshmallow man, and am not hurt when I fall to the bottom 

Light Yagami from Death Note just found out your name and face and he see you as a threat 

I teleport us to the Star Wars universe where they don't have paper. 

You are a Red Shirt on an away mission. 

I change shirts as fast as I can.

You're a Level 1 wizard stuck in an inescapable room small enough to fit only you and a Tarrasque. Said Tarrasque is staring at you in the same way a starving lion stares at fresh meat.

I cast Expeditious Retreat and run past its maw and under its belly. Due to the size of the room it won't be able to turn around and try to eat me. 

You are sitting in a room when suddenly an inset plague appears and is subsequently polymorphed into elephants. 

The room quickly explodes from the pressure, and I am flung into a lake, suffering broken bones, but miraculously surviving.

in a streak of bad luck, you walk into the corner of a table, fall over, and lose consciousness, only to wake up to see that a lich has broken into your house.

I wasn't at my house, I was looking through a security camera, using my phone, while I was on vacation. 

Everything in the whole universe (except you) turns out to be hostile mimics, set on eating you. 

I step out of the hole universe, fill it in with dirt so no one else falls in, and go back to living my life

You were just chilling in your giant hamster ball, when a god broke it and stept on you 

Before I am crushed by his foot, I cast wish to make the hamster ball be instantly fixed, and the ball appears where his foot is, so now the God is missing a foot, and hopping away to buy a new one.

You just went sledding down a very tall mountain, at top speed, having a very fun time, until you realize that there is a massive ramp at the bottom that was used for stunts, and so you are launched 50 feet in the air, straight towards a tree.

I hit the tree and it snaps like a twig because I am a giant with a giant sled

You spent your whole life trying to become one with nature, and after 276 years of studying and practising, you've become a tree. Now, whilst in this tree form, you are hit by a giant riding a giant sized sled. 

From all my years of studying, I am a lv 20 Druid Awakened Tree. I wild-shape into a fly and the giant crashes into the ground, dying on impact. 

You are minding your business when an angry fly suddenly morphs into a brown bear next to you. 

I am a Panda Bear, Po the Panda actually, and I am a Kung Fu master, and this bear is not

You are smelling flowers then one of them shoots acid into your face

I am a Plasmoid so I don’t have a face and it goes over me

you farted in a spacesuit and you are slowly suffocating