He had a breastplate on, and I’m the king of the world, while he’s just the king of the country. 

You are eating Vecna for breakfast.

Yum, I eat his phylactery too so he can’t respawn

you just knocked a vending machine on yourself and are about to join the few people who die from vending machine every year

Quote from ShhinySilver >>

Yum, I eat his phylactery too so he can’t respawn

you just knocked a vending machine on yourself and are about to join the few people who die from vending machine every year

 good thing I im the strongest man in the world

Vecna respawns in front of you with his strongest servants

I have a ten-foot pole. Poky boi rules!

You're going through a trapped dungeon and don't have a ten foot pole.

I use a rope and mage hand instead

you just attempted to pole vault over a ravine with a 10 foot pole but it snapped and you are falling into the ravine

The ravine is 10 feet deep and full of water.

You are vulnerable to fire damage and in lava, being teleported to the center of the lava pool every millisecond.

I have a wish from a deal with a devil and I use it to wish to get out of the lava and stop teleporting… now how do I get my soul back…

you just made a suit of armor out of obsidian, which turns out to be very brittle, and then you are hit by a club and the obsidian shatters, cutting and stabbing you. You are now bleeding out while being hit by a club repeatedly

Quote from ShhinySilver >>

I have a wish from a deal with a devil and I use it to wish to get out of the lava and stop teleporting… now how do I get my soul back…

you just made a suit of armor out of obsidian, which turns out to be very brittle, and then you are hit by a club and the obsidian shatters, cutting and stabbing you. You are now bleeding out while being hit by a club repeatedly

 

 

 I am the devil who made that deal, I use my magic to switch places with you

you have now been switched places with a devil and are being hit by a small fairy man with a club

I quickly switch back to the fairy man

I survive because it’s blank

I just threw what was left of the obsidian armor and the club at you, and it all hit

Fortunately, I’m just a cliff face with a lot of snow on top. Uh oh…

You are being pursued by an avalanche, and suddenly you run up to a cliff face.

I attempt to climb it and as I am almost at the top I slip and fall off, but the worst of the avalanche just happed below me so I have a soft landing and I am covered with minimal snow

you just fell off a cliff but you don’t have snow to break your fall like I did

I die and then they heal me from death.

You're the BBEG and it's the group's last session.

Good thing it wasn’t intended to be the last session, as the party decided to attack me early and all died and the group disbanded.

you just cast reverse gravity, but messed up the spell, and now gravity is sideways, and now you are about to hit a mountain.

I'm an Earth Genasi that has Merge with Stone and my DM never actually read the ability's description, therefore allowing me to just merge into the mountain instead of taking fall damage.

You are an Earth Genasi in the same situation whose DM understands the Merge with Stone trait.

Good thing I have feather fall… now how to turn gravity back to normal…

I attempted to turn gravity back to normal but failed even harder and now gravity is upside down

Gravity being upside down comes with a benefit that there's not going to be anything to hit. So this gives me enough time to glide my way over to a wizard that can fix gravity. During this time we'll have reached terminal velocity despite the constant acceleration. Once gravity goes back to normal this does mean there'll be a time where I'm still going upwards in the fixed-gravity world and that will indeed caused a lot of damage upon landing. But fortunately for me fall damage caps out at 20d6 or 120, which means that so long as I have 121+ hit points I am guaranteed to survive a fall from any height. And thus I survive, even though a great cataclysm of death has befallen the world.

An angry mob has found out you're the one that messed with gravity. They're mad at you. And they have you surrounded.

I cast reverse gravity on a 500 foot radius as I have mastered the spell, and then I fly sideways with my new gravity powers.

you are a commoner being chased by hungry wolves in the forest after trying to pet them

I reach a ravine, and as I’m getting ready to jump, my foot snags on a root, right as the wolves leap at me. They all fall into the ravine and I’m alright.

You are a ranger that is currently a wolf falling into a ravine.

I’m pretty sure rangers cannot transform so I am a Druid in the shape of a dire wolf, and they have a lot of hit points, so I am fine

you were just swallowed by a purple worm, which was then eaten like a noodle of spaghetti by a terrasque.