Good thing she is a 5 year old toddler, and I have lockpicks to get out
you just got shrunk to be 4 inches tall and are trapped in a glass jar slowly suffocating, and then a purple worm swallows the jar
I cast dimension door
You get cornered by 200 liches, all of whom have counterspell and disintegrate. They all roll a crit on initiative, and also get a surprise round on you
I have antimagic zone, so I cast that to disable the shackles, then I get a nat 20 on strength to break them off, I release concentration on the antimagic, then cast plane shift
you just got a 4 story building thrown at you and you are vulnerable to bludgeoning damage
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
I have my level 20 wizard buddy hinder him for me.
Vecna has cornered you and is about to kill you, you are at one hit point, you have no weapons, you have vulnerability to all damage, you have no magic items, and you are a level one fighter.
I am a polymorphed dragon, so I turn back and eat him and his phylactery
you just fell onto a spike from 900 feet
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
Good thing 9 - 10 people who get struck by lightning survive, now about the cliff…
you just pet a sleeping dire wolf
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
I roll an animal handling check, get a nat 20, and it becomes my pet.
You're trapped in a pocket dimension with 20 undead and a lich, you are a level one fighter with a dagger as your only weapon, you have no magical items, you have no armor, and all of your ability scores are 6's.
you just fell down the stairs, hitting your head on the corner of a table
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
I go to the ER and get some staples in my head. (Speaking from similar personal experience.)
that must have hurt, years ago I fell down the stairs and cut my hand (didn’t need stitches as it was minor)
I survive because it is just music I’m listening to in the middle of the night
you just stepped on a Lego, and then tripped in pain into a portal to the plane of fire, right above the sea of fire.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
You know the portal to the plane of fire right above the sea of fire is easy-peasy to deal with. I just cast plane shift before hitting the waves. But the stepping on a lego? I think that's gonna take a couple years of recovery back home.
You've been having fun using peasant railguns to blow BBEG castles to pieces through sheer force of power. And it's been going great. But then you open a secret door only to find out the DM just gave a BBEG a peasant railgun of their own.
I cast dimension door
You get cornered by 200 liches, all of whom have counterspell and disintegrate. They all roll a crit on initiative, and also get a surprise round on you
N/A
I am a Harengon, so I can jump 3000 feet in the air as a reaction with out provoking opportunity attacks and land on a spell jammer ship.
Your stuck in an Astral Dreadnaught (Creature) and Restrained by dimensional shackles. you have a -5 to strength.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
I have antimagic zone, so I cast that to disable the shackles, then I get a nat 20 on strength to break them off, I release concentration on the antimagic, then cast plane shift
you just got a 4 story building thrown at you and you are vulnerable to bludgeoning damage
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
misty step out of the way
You are under geas by a lich to not hinder the lich killing you.
I am leader of the yep cult:https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/off-topic/adohands-kitchen/82135-yep-cult Pronouns are she/her
I have my level 20 wizard buddy hinder him for me.
Vecna has cornered you and is about to kill you, you are at one hit point, you have no weapons, you have vulnerability to all damage, you have no magic items, and you are a level one fighter.
I am a polymorphed dragon, so I turn back and eat him and his phylactery
you just fell onto a spike from 900 feet
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
I'm a barbarian with resistance to everything and level 20
You see a furry puppy. The puppy is Tiamat.
N/A
I give the furry puppy a puppy treat. Then I run... far... far far away....
You're the point-blank target of a peasant railgun.
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
I cast absorb elements and absorb the rail gun fire. Then I blast it all back out at the Railgun.
A wizard casts Imprisonment on you and sends you into a slumber. Your body is now seconds away from being beheaded...
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
The wizard has not enough strength to use the axe to behead you
Matt Mercer cackles evilly
N/A
I cackle back at him. He laughs. I choose this moment to strike. End of.
Your falling Up a cliff.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
Since I'm falling up a cliff I never hit the bottom, so I just float...forever...for the rest of my meager, useless existence.
Jason Voorhees is bent on killing you.
I duel him and win.
Your falling across a cliff, When you get struck by magical lightning.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
Good thing 9 - 10 people who get struck by lightning survive, now about the cliff…
you just pet a sleeping dire wolf
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
I roll an animal handling check, get a nat 20, and it becomes my pet.
You're trapped in a pocket dimension with 20 undead and a lich, you are a level one fighter with a dagger as your only weapon, you have no magical items, you have no armor, and all of your ability scores are 6's.
Your stuck and can't think of a way to become unstuck. That's it.
Long live the dragon slayers, long live the spider guild, long live the forums.
I want you to know. You are going to lose. You are going to lose badly. You’re going to lose badly and it’s going to be awesome.
I call the fire department to help me
you just fell down the stairs, hitting your head on the corner of a table
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
I go to the ER and get some staples in my head. (Speaking from similar personal experience.)
You are alone...
In a locked room...
There's music playing...
It's Nickelback.
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary
that must have hurt, years ago I fell down the stairs and cut my hand (didn’t need stitches as it was minor)
I survive because it is just music I’m listening to in the middle of the night
you just stepped on a Lego, and then tripped in pain into a portal to the plane of fire, right above the sea of fire.
Hollow unbreakable arrows are the most OP common magic item, and my current method of coming up with insane combat shenanigans.
if you make a steel pipe with one end closed and a nozzle on the other, you can enlarge it, fill with any liquid, and then drop concentration, creating a high pressure squirt gun. (or a pipe bomb, depending if it holds)
You know the portal to the plane of fire right above the sea of fire is easy-peasy to deal with. I just cast plane shift before hitting the waves. But the stepping on a lego? I think that's gonna take a couple years of recovery back home.
You've been having fun using peasant railguns to blow BBEG castles to pieces through sheer force of power. And it's been going great. But then you open a secret door only to find out the DM just gave a BBEG a peasant railgun of their own.
This is a signature. It was a simple signature. But it has been upgraded.
Belolonandalogalo, Sunny | Draíocht, Kholias | Eggo Lass, 100 Dungeons
Talorin Tebedi, Vecna: Eve | Cherry, Stormwreck | Chipper, Strahd
We Are Modron
Get rickrolled here. Awesome music here. Track 48, 5/23/25, Immaculate Mary