Twist the Wish

Granted you get a onkey from Temu

I wish for infinite Atium

Quote from Sablemeerkat676 >>

Granted you get a onkey from Temu

I wish for infinite Atium

 Granted! However, since the genie hasnt read any Brandon Sanderson books, it gives you a single dose of tium(a medicine).

I wish I could get enough puberty blockers to last me a few years.

Granted! But it's illegal to use them

I wish for the ability to steal pronouns :3

Granted! But they randomize before you get them.

I wish I had a better phone.

Granted! According to me the blackberry is better

I wish for o1 to step on a landmine :p

Granted o1 steps on a landline but it gives him superpowers and location of where you live.

I wish for one slice of perfect cheddar cheese to appear 5 feet in front of me on a hovering plate that does not fall. The slice of cheese will taste completely normal and will not give me any diseases, harmful effects, wrath of the gods, etc. The slice of cheese will appear out of nothing and no one will try to hunt me down for the slice of cheese. The cheese and anyone else will not cause any wars, deaths or harm to anybody because of the cheese. This wish takes affect immediately and no ill consequences or things not considered will affect this wish. This wish happens exactly as I intend it to with no unforeseen side effects or consequences.

You get it but you stated the cheese will not cause any wars, deaths, or harm to anybody. Which will not allow you to eat the cheese. Digestion inherently involves destroying millions of living bacteria, and chewing destroys the structure of the cheese. Because of this you are unable to eat the cheese in any way, making sure it sits on the plate forever, entirely consumable. In fact, you suddenly lose your ability to eat any other cheese too as an added bonus.

I wish I will not die tomorrow. (pls don't kill me)

Granted but you lose one of your shoes.

I wish for stuff

Granted! The ‘stuff’ includes a dollar, a doll hair, a polar bear and a toothbrush(one of those might be a bit more worrying than the others :p) 

I wish I could shapeshift into other humanoid forms at will.