Twist the Wish

Granted! Unfortunately, your dragon smites your entire family.

I wish for cake.

The cake is poisoned. 

I wish that magic was real.

Granted. Magic is real, but only True Strike.

I wish my worst enemy (let's call him Tom) was in debt, and I had a million dollars that he couldn't get by any means.

(That’s so cruel) granted... but your in debt to him for 2 million dollers

i wish the cake was not a ly

Granted. It is still a lie, though.

I wish I had an army of teenage fan-girls that obeyed my every command out of pure fanatical devotion. This army would always be replenishing itself whenever one of them broke away, so I'd always have my supply.

Granted. They're all undead.

I wish for a weather machine like cloudy and a chance of meatballs, except it works. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=cloudy+and+a+chance+of+meatballs+weather+machine&docid=608010306638449774&mid=4E72B245058A6FFD8E7A4E72B245058A6FFD8E7A&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

Quote from RoscoFatrabbit >>

Granted. They're all undead.

I wish for a weather machine like cloudy and a chance of meatballs, except it works. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=cloudy+and+a+chance+of+meatballs+weather+machine&docid=608010306638449774&mid=4E72B245058A6FFD8E7A4E72B245058A6FFD8E7A&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

 Now the only weather is food weather. This results in massive droughts due to water slowly evaporating but cannot rain down. Humanity cannot get enough moisture from the food in order to survive. Also the food gets spoiled and plague sweeps the earth because of it.

You forgot your wish. You are hereby banished from this forum.

I wish for inspiration.

You get it. When your DM says you are worthy of it

I wish for a pineapple.

You get a mostly eaten and rotting pineapple 
I wish my DM wasn’t so much of a pain

Ok. Your DM is now much of an uncomfort.

I wish for a genie to grant me three wishes.

He is new to wish granting, and messes up your wishes.

I wish for the power of shapeshifting.

Granted. You can shapeshift into a tapeworm, but not back again.

I wish I owned my own popular, safe and well-selling carnival attraction, "The Maze of Revolving Doors".

It is ant-sized. Everyone is exited waiting their turn in line. However, the profits gained go straight to the guy casting enlarge/reduce on everyone who walks in.

I wish for a button. A normal sized button made of plastic that would go on a coat.

You get said button. But you read the description on the package wrong, and it is really a monster button that tears your coat to shreds. Whoops!

I wish my bard would level up. 

You encounter the tarrasque

I wish for a Nintendo 

You get a Nintendo from 1000 years in the future. You dont know how to use it, you cant find the power cable, and you dont have any games for it, anyways.

I wish for people to check out my homebrew

Granted! People love your creations and you become famous. Paparazzi follow you everywhere and you are forced to stay inside for the rest of your life.

I wish for there to be a cure for cancer.

It's made from the sadness of a panda.

I wish for more subscribers on youtube, so I have a reason to make videos.