Granted, you learn to speak, but not understand, read, or write Dwarvish.

I wish to have a flying speed of 120 feet per 6 seconds.

Granted, but your body flames up everytime you do that and you die of fire.

I wish I weren't b r o k e n

Granted, you are no longer broken. You are now disintegrated entirely.

I wish to be completely invincible.

Granted, you are no longer existant, you never even were here.

I wish I can MLB my all heros in GT.

Granted, you are able to Magically Lick Box your heroes in Ginger Train, a cooking simulator.

I wish to know everything and have immunity to psychic damage.

(well, I couldn't stop laughing at that-)

Granted, you know a lot too much that your brain goes very big... Then it pops and you die. BUT HEY YOU'RE IMMUNE TO PSYCHIC DAMAGE!

I wish I were a 9 tailed fox. Just like Garam.

Below V >:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9

Granted, you are a fox who has been mutated by Cherynobyl to have 9 tails. You are being hunted by some trackers for your tails.

I wish to be able to cast teleport without expending a spell slot or material components.

Granted, but you have no control over where you land.

I wish for kermit the frog to become a weeb.

Granted, but he keeps it a secret from everyone and acts completely normal.

I wish to delete all anime from the earth.

granted, the rest of the universe is flooded with anime.

I wish for dark sesame street memes to rule the earth. 

Granted. But I have no idea why you vouched for streets made out of dark sesame.

I wish to erase everyone's memory, so they have no recollection of what a cat is.

Quote from BlazeMeep >>

Granted. But I have no idea why you vouched for streets made out of dark sesame.

I wish to erase everyone's memory, so they have no recollection of what a cat is.

 (What a horrible wish) When everyone sees the cats, they think they're the cutest creatures on earth, but they just call them Cuddles

I wish for more dice sets

Granted, you are bludgeoned to death under a rain of dice.

I wish to be the chief of the UWP.

Okay, you're the leader of the Umbrella Weirdo Party-Llamas

I wish to flood Earth in kittens

Granted, but they all have a vendetta against you.

I wish to be the chief of the Untwistable Wish Police.

Granted, but you’re laid off the first day.           I wish for a modern D&D setting.

Granted, but its lore is absolutely terrible.

I wish to be able to cast counterspell whenever I want, and have infinite reactions.

Granted, nobody else knows magic so too bad.                                                                         I wish for the drake format to come back to life 

Granted, but it dies after 2 seconds.

I wish to have infinite 9th level spell slots and immediately cast invulnerability.

You have infinite 9th level spells. They don't work. 

I wish for comic sans to be the official font. For everything. Job applications, college, dnd, microsoft office, and everything else too.