Granted. But you get assassinated for your riches after losing your loved ones due to your greed. 

I wish I had more confidence in myself and stopped being so hard on myself.

 Granted. Your overconfidence is now your downfall.

I wish I could afford a more comfortable lifestyle.

Granted, but your significant other left you and cleaned out your accounts.  You know are poorer than you were before you made your wish.

I wish I owned an owlbear cub

Granted. You have an owlbear cub, isn't it adorable? The overprotective and savage owlbear mother that came along however...

I wish that I was better at running my D&D games, so my players feel that little bit happier with their sessions :-)

Granted, you create a deep and complex world with endless possibilities. The players quickly discover a number of adventure hooks appealing to any variety of adventurer. The players promptly kill everyone in the town, initiating an evil outlaw survival scenario, which you have prepared for, by some miracle. But one player meets a girl, another is swamped at work, one is tied up with the kids, and the other simply can't remember when the session was scheduled. They never make it to the second session.

I wish for a previously unanswered wish: I wish I could respond to these twists (this thread) without also twisting and wishing.

Granted. You can, but we know you'd never do it :-P

I wish for some cool cosplay costumes of my D&D characters!

Granted....but they only fit on dogs and cats.

I wish for the return of Gary Gygax

Granted. Behold our archlich overlord, ready to turn the world on its edge!

I wish for everything to smell of strawberries in their prime ripeness.

Granted! Everything becomes strawberries in their prime ripeness, including you, and thus everything smells like ripe strawberries, although they soon start to rot.

I wish for this wish to be granted by one of my DMs.

i am now a DM in charge of a game you did not know you where playing.

you did not show up you your character was killed off.

i wish for a fedora, it is a kind of hat.

Granted! An invisible fedora appears, but you never find it.

I wish I had a magical wand that suited me perfectly.

Granted (double granted), but all of its charges have been used, and it does not recharge.

I wish to take a nap, and wake refreshed, and ready for work in a few hours.

Granted, but you overslept and got fired!

I wish to be able to time travel

Wish GRANTED! ~ With the speckles of light you can travel in time, but you leave something behind. something of yourself. it can be anything, memories, emotions, personality, oh no...is that the liver...? O:


I wish i had a some sort of cute, nice but threatening tentacle monster that could watch over my house, now and then.. =)

Granted. Congratulations, you live in one of those very wrong Japanese hentais.

I wish for a proper cup of tea, I could do with a caffeine boost right now.

Granted.  You have a cup made out of tea leaves.  However, there is no water and no way to steep the leaves.  If you really need a caffeine fix, I guess you can chew on your newly acquired cup!

1. Buff Aloe - a Tiefling bard, 2. Verbal Kint - a Drow ranger , 3. Darius Goodfeather - an Aarakocra paladin or 4. Toothrot Fungushuemper - a Dwarf barbarian

Roll(1d4)+0:
2,+0
Total:2

I wish to be one of my D&D characters in real life, Verbal Kint - a Drow ranger

Granted. You are now a drow. However, you're stuck working as a park ranger during day shifts. Enjoy your sunlight sensitivity!

I wish for a brand new video game to enjoy.

You see a really cool game, buy and the after a few hours you find out it was another bad EA game and you can't get your money back. Also you destroy your consol out of rage.

I wish I could transform into an owl and back to my normal self at will.

Granted. You can transform between an owl and back at-will, but it requires your excess matter to be evicted and reingested in order to do so.

I wish for four candles.

You get four candles, but are packed with powerful explosives.

I wish that I could never roll under an eleven on a 1d20.