Granted, you can never roll under an 11 but you can never roll over an 11.  In fact, it doesn't matter where or how you roll, 11 is the only number that you can roll.  All of your modifiers are now +0 to make sure you can only attain an 11 on any given roll.

I wish that mage hand could lift any amount of weight

Granted, BUT you can't control what the hand does after you tell it to lift something.

I wish that I could always find my lost things, any time any where.

 Granted, you'll be able to find them. They are in a lockbox you can't ever get into.

I wish for everlasting charge AA batteries.

Granted everything now uses AAA batteries.

I wish for the ability pick any lock (so you know I can get into that lockbox.)

Granted, but you now realise that the lockbox is also permanently welded shut.

(Since we're doing continuation wishes)
I wish I could change my everlasting charge AA batteries to fit as any battery type.

Granted! Everyone stops using batteries and goes back to the stone age.

I wish for a golden Retriever puppy that loves me unconditionally and will never hurt me, intentionally or not

Granted it is the only animal that will be nice to you from now on.

I wish you didn't have to pay so much for D&D rule books...

Granted. You don't need to pay so much for D&D rule books as they sell them via chapter, thus making them overall more expensive.

I wish to be great at all forms of dancing.

Granted, but you can't get a gig because you don't know anyone with power to get you to dance professionally and no one notices you on the internet.

Wish that shoot fireballs from my hands whenever I do a hand gesture like Ryu does in the street fighter games.

Granted. The fireballs last a nanosecond and are a 1/10,00th of a millimeter in size.

I wish to be able to bend the laws of space and time to my will completely.

Granted you can only control space and time only by little bits. For example you could only control about 5 inches of space, and control five seconds of time.

I wish I could OHKO any thing, and not take any recoil damage.

Granted. Congratulations, everything you every touch gets KO'd. No hugging kids or loved ones ever again...

 I wish for a good night's sleep tonight.

Granted, a mountain giant clubs you upside the head and knocks you out for 8 hours,

I wish for a barrel of ale,

Granted the ale will give you a hangover forever.

I wish I could speak any language.

Granted, you now stutter so uncontrollably that no one will ever understand anything you say.

i wish i had the power to create life

you can speak any language, but you try to sprinkle a lot of them into every sentence, few people understand you now.

I wish for a new amiibo, of any kind.

Granted it rebel against you and destroy you.

I wish that I could a FALCON PUNCH, when ever I want and not hurt myself.

Granted but you will always miss if you attempt to hit anything solid. 

I wish to be the smartest being alive

Granted but when you tell someone some super smart stuff their mind blows up.

I wish that I could solve world hunger.

Granted! Everyone dies! Now no one is hungry.

I wish I was admired by all eternally and was forever happy to be so.