Wish granted! I think you broke up a bit in your wish though, so I assume the word I didn't quite hear was "tetanus" (got "ten" and "us"). A pile of currency that gives you tetanus when you touch it coming right up!

I wish that posts in this thread counted.

Yeah, they can count. So far it's at 202.

I wish people think more before they post.

Now no one ever posts, because they spend too much time thinking. 

I wish I was better at finishing thoughts. 

Wish granted! You now can only finish short, simple, obvious thoughts that everyone thinks of.

I wish for immortality!

"At the end of time, it is natural to expect the company of immortals."  I hope you enjoy the End of All Things. 

I wish I was telepathic. 

"A chill runs down your spine as you realized what you have wished for. You are overcome with a numbing cold. You stare in horror as your hands fade into nonbeing. You can no longer touch anything. Your physical form has vanished, leaving you behind as a mere phantom, a telepathic entity. All you are left for to do is to telepathically communicate through the minds of others, and to ponder and resent your wish."

I wish to become the greatest thief ever that no one could ever catch.

You became the greatest thief ever, but because no one ever came close to catching you, you die of boredom due to a lack of challenge.

I wish for a hamburger

You get a hamburger. However, when you turned your head to look where a sudden explosion came from, you were still holding your hamburger. Your treasured mimic ate your treasured hamburger, also eating a few of your treasured fingers. Your mimic found that you were quite tasty and decided to eat you, too. It ate you.

I wish for a piece of gold.

A piece of gold appears. Sadly, you don't know where it is.

I wish I could write better adventures for D&D

Wish Granted you can now write better D&D stories but it takes 10 years to write a adventure

I wish for a luck blade with 3 charges

You forgot to attune your luck blade. A rogue steals it in the middle of the night and kills you with it.

I wish I had slow breath like a brass dragon.

You now breathe very slowly, so slowly that you can't get enough Oxygen to live, and the same thing happens to all brass dragons. 

I wish for something valuable, harmless, non-dangerous, unable to harm or kill me or anyone else, completely incapable of causing me or anyone else to harm or kill themselves, unguarded, legal, non-frightening, perceptible, indestructible, portable, removable, not necessary for life and with no one willing to harm me or anyone else in any way to get it or because I have it. 

Everyone stares at you because you have it. You die of embarrassment because you were stuck at someplace like the Mall of America for hours on a Friday evening and each time you try to get rid of it some person or another would give it back to you.

I wish that I wasn't stuck at home (or anywhere else) all day.

Congratulations, you're no longer stuck on Earth.  In other words, gravity no longer effects you.  You know that if you go outside it's only a matter of time until you fly off into outer space, so you're still stuck at home if you don't want to die of asphixiation. 

I wish for something valuable, harmless, non-dangerous, non-embarrassing, unable to harm or kill me or anyone else, completely incapable of causing me or anyone else to harm or kill themselves, incapable of influencing other people's behavior, unguarded, legal, non-frightening, perceptible, indestructible, portable, removable, not necessary for life and with no one willing to harm me or anyone else in any way to get it or because I have it. 

Response to post number 218: Wish granted.  The game is now dead. 

You get a ball of fuzz.

I wish Matthias would stop being so descriptive in his posts.

Holy wars, Bleed, master of puppts or the trooper or painkiller or raining blood or caught in a mosh or ora pro nobis lucifer or crystal mountain

Holy wars, Bleed, master of puppts or the trooper or painkiller or raining blood or caught in a mosh or ora pro nobis lucifer or crystal mountain

Holy wars, Bleed, master of puppts or the trooper or painkiller or raining blood or caught in a mosh or ora pro nobis lucifer or crystal mountain

Holy wars, Bleed, master of puppts or the trooper or painkiller or raining blood or caught in a mosh or ora pro nobis lucifer or crystal mountain

Holy wars, Bleed, master of puppts or the trooper or painkiller or raining blood or caught in a mosh or ora pro nobis lucifer or crystal mountain

Everyone now has a concussion

Edit: Including yourself

I wish no one will post after this one.

No one posts. THe thread is dead.

I wish for a butterfly.

Wish Granted you have a 50ton flying chunk of butter that lands on your house and kills you.

I wish for Deadpools healing factor without the side effect of being horribly disfigured.

You get Deadpool's factor but end up outliving ALL of your friends and family and end up being depressed for the rest of your life.

I wish I had the power to get copy powers.

You have the power to instantly copy the word "powers" onto paper in a heartbeat. Not useful, not fun, not anything...

I wish for cheese