Twist the Wish

They no longer exist. In this alternate reality, fans continue to push for sequels, but the company just keeps saying “We’re working on it” and it never comes out.

I wish for my twisting wish to wish to be a twisted wish of wishing

Granted. Your wish is twisted, and your soul is destroyed.

I wish for a sandwich.

It’s a knuckle sandwich (the playground joke).

I wish for the answer to this wish to be put through google translate. From english, to Hawaiian, then Yoruba, then English again.

You get a ginormous pencil that doesn't word

I wish fir 1000000000000000 more wishes that arn't ever twisted.

you are crushed by the weight of 10000000000000 non-twisted Santa wish lists

I wish james haeck would come back :(

Granted. James Haeck does come back, but this time he's been possessed by Acererak.

I wish that the monkeys at the zoo would stop flinging poo at people.

They start making buckets, filling them with pee and start flinging the pee-filled buckets at people

I wish I could defeat the godmodder.

You bet them their fans come and beat you up

I wish for a non lethal wish

you are forever pained by an uncurable disease. It spreads to you family, and then your playing plague inc. basicly

I wish I didn't make this wish ::))

Granted. The ensuing paradox tears apart reality.

I wish I had the most majestic beard in the world on my face.

You don't have a face anymore

I wish that my dog's didn't die

Granted! All humans die instantly now.

I wish to not be sad right now.

Granted, you fail your save against tasha's hideous laughter. 

I wish for a bowl of ice cream. 

It's only has one molecule of ice cream in it

I wish for the spell wish not to exist in 25 minutes

Granted! This thread will self destruct in 25 minutes.

I wish to stop the self-destruct sequence

Granted. The self-destruct is aborted. No twisting this time; a genie's got to stay in business, you know.

I wish for Bane, Bhaal and Myrkul to form a boy band, using male avatars in their late teens.

Granted. It becomes a massive success ,but everyone who buys their albums becomes inducted into a cult of either murder, tyranny, or necromancy.

I wish to be a draconic sorcerer in real life

you become a lizard that occasionally can summon a fireball.

I wish that the self-destruct sequence cannot be stopped.

Quote from Platyposeidon_Z >>

They do. However, the will is lost. You end up getting nothing.

I wish for James Haeck to come back.

Quote from Drallop12 >>

Granted. No repercussions cause I want it too.

I wish to be a wizard in real life

 This is like the "yeah, whats up with that? good wish, you still have three wishes" meme