Wish granted! However" it' is a very cute" very fluffy Cerebrum pup that is the size of a car, and likes using you as a chew toy.

I wish I was a woman whenever I wanted to be.

And I swear, if anyone says it can only be during a womans bloody time in a month, I will kill said person

You are now capable of becoming a woman...And you get periods bloody times every day, regardless of whether you're a woman or not. Hey, that isn't technically what you said you would kill us for. In this game, everything you say is taken literally.

I wish for a cute, normal-sized puppy that is friendly towards me.

The puppy is frendly towards you, but savagely and adoribly bites and naws on eviryone else.

I wish to know what the genie wants.

You know every thought of the genie. Unfortunately, you are driven mad by its incomprehensible desires and utterly alien mindset.

I wish for a good night's sleep.

You die peacefully in your sleep.

I wish for the black widow that bit me to become a solid gold statue of that spider.

And so it shall be...It becomes a solid gold statue of the spider with no sentience. However, it is size Gargantuan and instantly crushes you.

I wish for a cute puppy that is friendly towards everyone, but that obeys my orders above all else.

It overanalyzes them. It's head explodes messily.

I wish for something funny

You slip on a banana peel and fall into an endless inescapable abyss. It's painful for you, but it sure is funny to watch!

I wish for a cute, normal-sized puppy that is friendly towards everyone, obeys my orders above all else, and that can't die, suffer any injury, or feel physical pain until I die (at which point it will peacefully die of old age).

The puppy is deaf, and so must interperet your commands. It proceeds to bite everyone when you actually told it to sit down.

I wish i was a free geni!

You are free, but a mage sees you and promptly recaptures you and makes you his slave forever-much worse than just being stuck in a lamp and having to grant three wishes.

I wish for a magical healing artifact that ONLY heals people and that I have total and complete control over.

I overdoses them with healing.

I wish for a pizza

And so it shall be...You are granted a pizza. It turns out to have been Shift, the ancient red dragon, who was polymorphed into a pizza by a meddlesome druid. This having been the third time, he is very irked, and as such proceeds to tear off your head.

I wish for a cute, normal-sized puppy that is friendly towards everyone, obeys my orders above all else, that obeys my orders exactly as I want it to with no contradictions or loopholes, that is in perfect medical condition and that always will be, and that can't die, suffer any injury, or feel physical pain until I die (at which point it will peacefully die of old age).

The puppy is created for you, but now you have to find her.

I wish for all my current  ingurys to be heald.

All ingurys healed. Your injuries, on the other hand, stay the same

Quote from AcerakTheEternal >>

All ingurys healed. Your injuries, on the other hand, stay the same

Well, since I was captured, I can' cast any more wishes.

I wish to own a very cute hedgehog.

The hedgehog is very cute, but she' the size of a car and her spines are hard as steel, and she likes rolling around at people to play.

I wish I owned a menagerie of animals!

...but they all want to eat you.

I wish for a non huge cute hedgehog...

She's adorable and not Huge. In fact, she's Gargantuan! Oh, and she's also a fiend. Enjoy your final moments with your adorable Gargantuan demonic hedgehog!.

I wish for a cute, normal-sized puppy that is friendly towards everyone, obeys my orders above all else, that obeys my orders exactly as I want it to with no contradictions or loopholes, that is in perfect medical condition and that always will be, and that can't die, suffer any injury, or feel physical pain until I die (at which point it will peacefully die of old age). I also wish that it'll appear in a place that I want it to.