you never specify where you want the puppy to be, so it is summoned in the same space as you... and is promptly fused with your legs.

I wish my menagerie of animals had food that was not me

They have food. It isn't you. The food is all your clothing! Enjoy spending all your D&D sessions naked and with AC 1.

(Also, I didn't say I needed to specify it at the time of the wish...I just said that it would appear somewhere I mentally wanted it to. Such as my house. Y'know what, screw the puppy idea.)

I wish for something. Anything.

You get everything. You are squished to a bloody pulp with the weight.

I wish for an endless supply of popcorn.

Done! The entire universe is now replaced with popcorn.

I wish to be able to cast the wish spell at will.

The multiverse collapses.

I wish for a small potato

You get a large potato instead.

I wish to be teleported to another universe.

You are thrown into a black hole, and end up in one where all life is annihilated by robots immediately.

I wish i was a lizardfolk barbarian.

Congratulations! You are now a giant enraged lizard.

I wish I wasn't thrown into a black hole...

You're thrown into a red volcano instead.

I wish for one thing.

... when you wish for that you get torture devices and someone uses them and you die a horrible death.

I wish to control a army of adult gold dragons... 

They only listen to you when its in their best interests. 

I wish I was a fish.

You become a fish.  On land. 

You die a slow and painful death of asphyxiation. 

I wish for a normal puppy. 

It's a completely normal hell hound puppy! Know why it's completely normal? Because you were transported to the Nine Hells when you wished for it! Nobody is ever capable of getting a normal puppy in this hellish world.

I wish for something that isn't dangerous.

You immediately transported to an eternal hole. You will fall forever, but be in absolutely no danger, since you will do nothing but fall for the rest of time.

I wish for completely safe transportation and safe habitation of the Plane of Positive Energy.

Of the plane of Positive Energy? You are transported through a tunnel made out of the Plane of Positive Energy. And just like the hole I got teleported into, it's endless. But nothing can hurt you, and there are pillows stuffed with hay for you to sleep on.

...The pillows suck, though.

I wish for an item that isn't dangerous.

you gain a wig

i wish for cool concept art for my barbarian lizard-folk named argost.

Wish Granted! The art is cool. But it is cool to the point of the paper being frozen in ice. When you thaw it out, the melted ice makes your art all soggy and wet.

I wish to be indestructible.

..****y in one point.

I wish to control a army of adult gold dragons...

(BreakingDancer, you don’t have to add the dot-dot-dot symbols before or after your wishes. This isn’t Super Power with a Flaw, and it’s getting kind of irritating.)

They're all very sick and proceed to die seconds after they appear, littering your land with large dragon corpses.

I wish for one useful, valuable, awesome item that isn't dangerous.

You get your own heart.  And die, of course. 

I wish for a picture of a chipmunk.