Granted. But the retirement system remains unchanged, leading to economic calamity and World War III.

I wish for my watermelon plant to do well and for the watermelons it's making to not get eaten by the local wildlife.

Granted, they are eaten by tourist wildlife

I wish for complete control over WOTC, but they can do their own stuff if I don't intervene

Granted. They ask for your opinion every five seconds and give you 500 moral quandaries a day

 I wish for $20

You get $20 but it’s Monopoly money.

I wish to be the leader of all kobolds and be a great ruler

Granted. This means you're a dragon and KNOCK KNOCK it's some adventurers come to make your their throw rug.

I wish the sky would make up it's mind already if it wants to rain or not.

Granted it rains creating a flash flood that kills many people

I wish that all dnd and mtg products WOTC makes will be shipped to me one copy of every product

Granted. But for this special service they charge 10x the normal amount.

I wish for ice cream.

Quote from Bluepanther512 >>

Granted. It has no toppings and is just a slab of dough.

 

I wish for people to become 35% longer lived compared to the normal current human lifetime.

 *you failed that’s just bread*

Quote from VitusW >>

Granted. But for this special service they charge 10x the normal amount.

I wish for ice cream.

 You now have a block of frozen cream.

i wish for pizza.

The Pizza is freezing.

I wish for 1 shoe.

You get 1 Reg Shoe.

I wish for an oven to defrost my pizza

You get an oven. However, it is slightly too large for you to use.

I wish for a cup of soup.

You have a cup made of soup for .0002 seconds before the scalding liquid splashes out of it’s shape. 

I wish for a slightly smaller oven, i just want this pizza!

Granted, enjoy this easy bake oven I found in my basement. I'm not sure if it'll turn on though...

I wish apples were hexagonal instead of spherical.

Granted. Now you have gamers stealing your apples all the time for use in their hexagonal game grid.

I wish for a 2D map projection that distorted neither size nor shape. 

Granted. You’re blind as well.

I wish for the US to have a good Healthcare system.

Granted they no longer treat people they just kill them saves money🤷

I wish for.a big fluffy dog who will love me forever and will never turn hostile also the dog is immortal and uses its powers to grant me immortality as we!l

Granted. However, in order to create its mass, according to the law of equal exchange, something equal must vanish. Have fun being a ghost for eternity.

I wish for every book ever written to find a dedicated fanbase that enjoys it.

Also, you did literally nothing to the US Healthcare system.

The fanbases are dedicated to burning every copy, of every book.

I wish for an adorable little otter pet that is sweet and gentle to me and everyone

It is so small you can’t see it or feel it.

I wish for my need for sleep to vanish with no negative side effects due to lack of sleep.