Granted, the dragon eats you!

I wish to have flight

Granted, you suddenly levitate to world height and fall a long and perilous fall before going splat.

I wish for more wishes

Granted, all the things that happen to other people because of their wishes now affect you also

i I wish for a tank

Granted, you get a fish tank.

I wish for a Scottish unicorn.

Granted! You get a Scottish man named unicorn as a hired hand!

I wish for 200 Christmas Light strings 

Granted, you get 200 lightly colored strings in red and green. Each is 1 inch long.

I wish for a book recommendation.

*breathes in* 
Have you heard of our lord and savior Brandon Sanderson and his magnum opus the Cosmere, a fantasy universe which contains many planets that initially don't know of each others existence, containing around 15 novels, and even more novelas. They all have compelling characters, and very interesting magic systems. It is recommended that you start with Elantris, but starting with Mistborn books 1 2 and 3 is fine as well. If you wish for more information on reading order PM me. They are all considered adult, but with none of those no-no words you see in others, because Brandon is Mormon Brandon comes up with interesting and unique swears for each world. Also the twist is you got like 20 or so, instead of only the 1 you intended I guess 

*exhales*

Also I hope in all my time typing this I didn't get ninja'd

I wish for the power to read any book that exists in my mind, and even books that don't exist

You cease to be able to conceptualize books, and thus lose the ability to read.

I wish that I could solve any mathematical equation within a minute of looking at it.

Granted, even x=1 takes you a minute to solve

I wish for youtubers to upload good videos daily.

Granted, Youtubers upload bad videos every second.

I wish for fancy D&D dice.

Granted you step on the d4 and in rage throw away the whole set

I wish to not get ninja'ed when I write the lore dump for the "media" sublayers of Avernus.

Granted, but you always get ninja'd everywhere else.

I wish to win the "Last Comment Wins" thread.

Granted you win it for one second before else someone posts

*Deep breath*

I wish to explain the lore:

The 'media' sublayers of Avernus are tucked away as an alternative entrance to the Nine Hells, and they are accessible from the Material Plane by using one of these devices, which appear randoml:

1. A rectangular pad with the letter I emblazoned on it, 3 uses

2. A small rectangle with the symbol of a half eaten apple, has 1 use

3. A strange device, form of a screen, a typing keyboard, and a weird box. Infinite charges, but rare to find this

All spent charges are regained when the item takes thunder damage, except for the rectangle with the apple, which only remains the charges if it is thunder damage from a specific choice of the DM: you know what source this is. 

Once you enter, there are 4 main layers: Reddit, YouTube, Discord and Twitter, in that order. These layers each have their own characteristics. You must brave all of these layers in order to move to the main area of Avernus.

Reddit: a utopia, appears to be one of the few safe spaces in the Nine Hells. Filled with alien-like creatures called Redditor's, which are humanoid beings with orange eyes and a singular antanea they use to communicate with all others. It is a sort of hive mind, and if one Redditor has an issue, all others will pitch in to help. This realm has moderators like the Discord Realm, but Reddit moderators tend to have more intelligence then their Discord cousins. The sublayer itself is protected by magical wards, and moderators that stand guard. They have no monarchy, and all coexist in the same social class. The entrance to the next layer, YouTube, is in the center of the city.

YouTube: this layer appears as a museum of what is important to the explorer. Exhibits take form in visions, just touch a pedestal and see it. This layer seems innocent enough, but a certain area has a connection to the ancient beast TicTok. TicTok is an evil beast that must never be set free, and it's essence lurks in here. Some claim to have seen the door that led to the prison of TicTok itself, but were too frightened to go in. Those who have gone in never made it out to tell the tale. Unfortunately, this area, called "Shorts", must be explored to find the door to the Discord layer.

The Discord layer is a barren wasteland. The animals seem to be regular animals, though any animals are scarce. It houses little food and water, and two main hunter-gatherer tribes rule:

Moderators: these large brutes roam the lands, and use primitive methods to hunt. They use weird totems to silence prey, and keep the rest of the herd from running away in fear. They also use hammers with a giant "BAN" forged onto it, which sentence victims to a harmless demiplane for a small amount of time. Anyone who is exposed to a large group of moderators for 24 hours straight turns into one themselves.

Serverians: this is a more advanced tribe, they appear to be humans that set traps, snares, use special tracking patterns and much more to find food and drink. They also love messing with moderators, and will prank them or snare them when they can.

The door to the Twitter layer is somewhere, you will have to search the lands for it, for the exit changes location every dawn. If someone is traveling to it, it will tend to go less far away from it's original spot.

The Twitter layer is what appears to be a marvelous city, like that of Reddit, but don't be fooled. This city is full of swarms of birdlike beings called bots, which detect noise and swarm any prey viciously, yelling rude comments at the victim. The door to exit Twitter and head to the rest of Avernus is always on the opposite side from where you entered, meaning you must sneak through without making a single sound.

Granted, it pisses off the genie and he teleports you to the Twitter layer.

I wish for a pet rock.

Granted it dies from a lack of food

I wish for noise cancelling boots to avoid the Twitter Bots 

Granted, they prevent you from hearing anything, so that you think you're silent. The boots are very loud.

I wish for a hammer.

Granted you get slapped by a discord moderators ban hammer

I wish for Kasrik's feedback on the lore

Granted, it's good.

I wish for a pet roc.

Granted its the pet of a god, who smites you for stealing it

I wish to pat myself on the back for making the lore 

Granted, you pat yourself so hard you are knocked to the Twitter layer

I wish for all of my devices to be faster