I was crying in my room, clearly. Where else would I be?

Ever seen your own family die before your eyes as you cried, holding the knife in one hand and the gun in the other?

Actually YES

Have you killed someone 

Nope, sadly. I suppose I’ll have to finish the job sooner or later.

Number one or number two?

Pooh. I love him and he holds a special place in my heart.

Your long awaited son is born. Your partner is crying tears of joy and the doctor hands you the baby. What shall you name your new beautiful baby boy?

(If it's chill) a Heineken, (If it's not) a Coke.

How's your mother doing?

Who?

What is life 

A concept I personally hate. The idea of just one religion being absolutely true and no others is just insulting to the human race! You should be better at this, humanity! God bless the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Lovely looking new pfp, wes!

          %###%%%#%%%%#%%%%%%%####%####%####******################################%%%##%%#          
          %%%#%%%%%%%%#%%%%%%%#%%%%%##%%%##############%##%##################%%%%#%%%##%%#          
          %%%%%%%%%%%%#%%%%%%%%%%%%%#%%%%####***##########%#%#################%%##%%%##%%#          
          %#%%%%%%%%%%%%%#%%%%#%%%%%##%%%######*#####*#%%#%#%###########*#####%%##%#%#####          
          %#%%%%%%%%%%%%%#%%%%#%%%%%#%%%%#####**#####**#%###%##########**###%#%%%#%#%##%##          
          %#%%##%%%%%%%%%#%%%%#%%%%%##%%######**#####***####%#########***#%%%##%%%%#%##%##          
          ##%%##%%%%%%%%%#%%%%#%%%#%######*##****####%**#*++++++*++++##*##%%%%#%%%%#%#####          
          ###%##%%#%%#%%%%%#%%%%%%#%######*##*****####*******++++*******####%%%%%%%#######          
          ##%%#%%##%%#%%%%%#%%%%%%%%%%####****+****#******************###*#%%%%%%%%#######          
          ##%%#%%#%%%#%%#%%#%%%%%%%%%%%###****+******+=#+***###*####**=#++#*#%%#%%%#######          
          ##%##%##%%%%%%%%%##%%%%%#%%######*****#####*********************####%%%%########          
          ##%#%###%%%%%%%%%##%%%%%#%%#####******####**#********************####%%####*#**#          
          ##%#####%%%%%%##%%##%%%%#%%######****+=+*+*********#********#***#####%%####*#**#          
          #%%#%###%%%%%#######%%%%#%%%###*#***=========+**++++++++++**#********######*****          
          ##%#%#%%%%%%%#%%#%%%##%%#%%#%##****=======-:::::=+++++*+**++*++*#*****#######***          
          ###%%#%%%%%%%%%%#%%%##%%#%%%%#***+======:-=-:-=-:-=+++****#**+**********##******          
          ###%%%%%%%%%%%%%#%%%##%%##%%%#***=====::-:::::::::::-++********+****#****##*****          
          %#%%%%#%%%%%%%#*###%%#%%%%%%%#*#+====:::::::--:::::--=****+****+*****#**#*#*****          
          %#%%%%#**+=====+++===+*#%%%%###+====:-==-:-=::-:::--::=#******#****##***#*##****          
          %%%%#+=+++*#**++******+++*#%##*====:-::::::::::::::::::-**+***************##**#*          
          %%%++*+=++=+----+#########*#%#*===-:::::::::::::::::::::-**+**********+*#**##*#*          
          %%%####++======+=-*########%##+===:::::::::::::::::::::::=*+**********++**#*####          
          ###%%%%%*===+=-===+#####%%%%%#+==-::::::::::::::::::::::::=*+*************#*####          
          ###%#%%##===*+=**=*%%#%%#%%%%%*===::::::::::::::::::::::::-+**************#*####          
          #***#%%###--===+*+*%%#%%#%%%%%#+==:::::::::::::::::::::::::+***********+**######          
          ***####***+--==+*+**#%%%######**+=:::::::::::::::::::::::::+***********+*#######          
          ###*******+=--==+*##############*=-::::::::::::::::::::::::+*************#%#####          
          %#%%%%%%#*#*:=+:+###############*==-::::::::::::::::::::::-**************#%#####          
          %##**#%%%#*+:+*:=######***#####**====::::::::::::::::::::-+**************#######          
          +++++#%%%#*+:*#-+##*###*++*****##*=====-::::::::::::::::-************#**########          
          %##%#####**::+=:-#%###**#***######*=======-::::::::::-=***********###**#########          
          #########%#::+=:=*##################*+=====+#*++++**********####**##*###########          
          *++****+***+=++=+####***+++++++++++**************##################%%%%%%%%%%%%#          
          +=++++++++++++++++++*+********************************#***********#######**#**#*          
          ++++++++++++++++++*++**+++++*************************************************##*          

Where did you bury the body, Dave?

Thank you very much, Goobertio! :)

Definitely, definitely Spain. Not really based on quality (although some of it's pretty good), but on quantity.

What would you do to me when I tried to talk to you?

Grab the machete by the blade and poke you with the handle 

Who is the man behind the slaughter 

Few fictional creations spark more of a visceral reaction than Dr. Hannibal Lecter, the sadistic psychiatrist who first jumped off the page in Thomas Harris’ 1981 novel Red Dragon for his penetrating questions, impeccable manners, and taste for making gourmet meals out of his victims. The character is such a riveting one that he appears in multiple books, movies, and a TV series, his depiction by a gleefully wicked Anthony Hopkins in 1991’s The Silence of the Lambs deemed the No. 1 movie villain of all time by the American Film Institute in 2003. But if it’s frightening to follow Hannibal the Cannibal’s grisly actions in print and on screen, it’s even more disturbing to know that he was based on a person whose butchery spilled from the confines of the imagination to the flesh-and-blood contours of the world around us. His name was Alfredo Ballí Treviño. As he revealed in the preface to the 25 anniversary edition of The Silence of the Lambs novel in 2013, Harris was a 23-year-old journalist in the early 1960s when he visited the Nuevo León state prison in Monterrey, Mexico, to report on an American convicted of murder named Dykes Askew Simmons. Simmons, with his unnerving eyes and “bad Z-plasty repairing a cleft lip,” certainly fit the profile of a killer, but Harris found himself more intrigued by the doctor who’d tended to the American following a botched prison escape. Harris met “Dr. Salazar” in the prison medical office, describing him as a “small, lithe man with dark red hair” and “a certain elegance about him.” After a few nondescript answers, the doctor sprung to life as he probed the reporter for his thoughts on Simmons’ disfigured appearance. “Were the murdered people attractive?” Salazar asked. “Yes,” Harris answered. Was the doctor insinuating that the beautiful victims had pushed Simmons into a violent rage? “Certainly not,” was the doctor’s reply. “But early torment makes torment easily... imagined. “You are a journalist, Mr. Harris,” he continued. “How would you put that in your journal? How do you treat the fear of torment in journalese? Might you say something snappy about torment, like ‘It puts the hell in hello!’?” Later that day, Harris was surprised to learn that Dr. Salazar wasn’t a prison employee, as he assumed, but a convict facing a lengthy stay behind bars. “The doctor is a murderer,” the warden told him. “As a surgeon, he could package his victim in a surprisingly small box. He will never leave this place. He is insane.”

How do you relate to Hannibal Lector after you kill your victim?

I didn't eat dinner yet

have you committed arson 

I dunno, I haven't read Silence of the Lambs.

Favorite tf2 engie quote?