Become my own patron and kill them. (In the DM's Guide it says a warlock can become a patron to other warlocks at 20th level.)

A fridge is conveniently dropped on your head.

What do you do?

I hold it up long enough to move it to the side.

You are trapped in a room. The entire thing is in a powerful antimagic field. The walls are made of 10 foot thick tarrasque hide, and so are the floors. You have no equipment or weapons. Pudding and a bag of water appear in it every day and disappear every night.

Good luck

I wait until the day a black pudding arrives, and use it to corrode either the hide or me.

A piano is about to break off the ceiling during your piano solo.

WHAT do you do?

I throw the piano I'm playing at it with so much force that both pianos are knocked out of the sky.

This topic gets spammed with dead memes. (You can't tell who spammed it.)

What do you do?

I cast Resurrection on the memes, restoring their youth and vigor. Harambe!!!! 😈

While on a vision quest to find yourself, you actually find yourself.

What do you do?

I say, "Hello," maybe have a nice little chat, and go about my business. 

You are almost killed by a flying, thunder-breathing chuul. 

What do you do? 

I am thankful I didn’t actually die, so I keep going about my business.

You are chased by flying, flesh-eating turtles. What do you do?

Grab a baseball bat--or a lightning spell--and start killing them. 

You come across a strange crater, filled to the brim with translucent flying jellyfish. 

What do you do? 

Turn around and walk in the other direction.

The Dragon Brigade has deemed you unworthy and is planning your destruction.

What do you do?

Stage my own destruction, then poison the Dragon Brigade water supply.

An adult dragon wants your help to kill something he cannot.

What do you do?

I kill the dragon as i am clearly its superior.

You are being haunted by the ghosts of 10,000 squirrels

What do you do ?

I try to hug them... they're cute ghost squirrels.

You wake up one day to find out your earlobes are missing.

What do you do?

Use a magic spell to return my missing earlobes to normal.

You climb into a bag of holding and your 'best friend' closes it on you.

what do you do?

Peek out and stab my friend the next time he tries to put something in it.

demon kobold horse llamas ate your toes and you are stranded in the middle of the Sahara.

what do you do?

I teleport out

A lich wants you to buy him extremely expensive pasta. You do not have the money, and he will kill you if you don't buy it.

WAT DO YU DOOO

steal the pasta

the person you stoleit from is chasing you 

what do you do?

I turn around and prusade him that someone else stole it

now that person is chasing you what do you do

I throw a mini-nuke at him

You wake up and find that shrek is staring through your window

 WHAT DOO YOH D DC DO

Nothing, he does that all the time. (it's kinda really freaky, but I got used to it)

You suddenly find that you are on saturn with a kobold head instead of arms.

WUT DUZ U DOO

I eat my legs. No reason to have any appendages at this point. 

You are tied to a large balloon. It starts to float into the air with you attached by a rope. You’re also naked.

What ever will you do